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How do you handle having a gay family member?
Family & Parenting / 12:17 AM - Monday February 08, 2010

How do you handle having a gay family member?

Hi everyone. My brother came out of the closet this week. We had suspicions he was gay, and he finally told us. He doesn't act all flamboyant, but the hints were there.

Does anyone have a close gay family member? How do you treat them? I come from a very Christian family, so we don't approve of that lifestyle, but we still told him that we still love and accept him, regardless of how he chooses to live his life. I still love him and want a relationship with him, but as a straight man, the images of 2 guys being intimate honestly grosses me out, so I just try not to think about that.

Obviously non-religious people will probably be more accepting, but just wondering if any of you had that experience and how you responded to it.

I am not hating on gays in any way. I don't approve of that lifestyle, but I have gay friends, and now gay family, and I still love them and want to be in their lives.

- Asked by Male, 26-28

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I am a Christian and do understand your views. I think you already handled it fine, you told him you still love him and accepted him. Just continue to be there for him and it will be fine. Don't think about the intimate stuff, after all, he's your brother--so you don't want to think about that anyway! :)
If he has a partner at some time in the future that he wants you to meet, be open and nice and accepting and they will be fine with it. If you are uncomfortable about meeting a partner of his, talk to your brother alone privately beforehand and express any feelings you have in a nice, non-confrontational way, this way he can tell you anything you might need or want to know and can prepare you for seeing him with someone. Also, he may be able to be a little more respectful of your feelings as well and take things a little easier when in front of you with his partner.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35

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Yes a nephew, we had always suspected it. he was always so kind and nice and played w/ his sisters dolls, etc,
he's much happier now, he has a bf. I have to be honest, it was embarrassing at first. when we were all together and I cannot not even think of what they do in bed.

if we love them we accept them, but due to rel beliefs, I do not approve. but its getting better, cuz we love him.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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You have to keep loving him no matter what others might do, including other family members. i need to go anon,because i want to protect the privacy of a family member. I was shocked and devastated at first. I still tackle with certain issues, but it is what it is...Oh i'm Christian and the family members that were ugly have no church involvment. My church family was wonderful. You are doing well with this, be prepared for others to go thru ups and downs, it can happen to you as well. But be there for him, You did good,]. Eventually things and acceptance get better. God Bless You and your Brother

- Response by A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Whatever behavior you have been applying to your gay friends now use with your brother. You don't have to approve of his lifestyle to continue to show him love. Glad you have this attitude. Huggs.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Houston, Other Profession

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treat him like your brother. love him like your brother and you will be fine. just take the word "gay" out of your vocabulary. we are all people.

- Response by jasonplantation66, A Creative, Male, 22-25, Portland

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Being 'Christian' has nothing to do with it. Non-Christians are just as judgmental as Christians about 'life styles'. It's NOT a lifestyle. It's dominated by chromosomes.

- Response by rholuc, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 66 or older, Retired

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I'll club them as quickly as I would a gay non-family member.

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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