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Does this mean that he only wants to be friends with me?
Dating / 12:30 PM - Sunday February 07, 2010

Does this mean that he only wants to be friends with me?

We never declared being boyfriend and girlfriend or even dating but we have had sex twice in five months. Well today I texted him hello and good morning and asked how was studying going for his upcoming test. He replies well and thats it he and two other people one being a girl who expressed her interest to the other person there about wanting to date him. He goes on to say that the girl was very beautiful and smart but whines alot and he declined her offer to go out on a date with him friday. He says that her whining the entire time was a big turn off for him? I mean I did ask specifics of what he was doing and was up too but by him telling me this information does this mean he only wants to be friends with me? Why would he be so open to sharing this information with me? Although he did say that since weather didn't permit us (a snowstorm) to hang out this week he would like for us to spend this friday and saturday together? What is going on what am I too think?

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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Here's what you're to THINK: "We never declared being boyfriend and girlfriend or even dating but we have had sex twice in five months." The next thing I want you to THINK is: "I texted him hello and good morning and asked how was studying going for his upcoming test," but he's talked all about another girl, told you how attractive she was, and that she wants to date him. Then, he takes the time to talk about her negatively. All the while he has not answered on damn thing you asked him. I think he "protests too much." That means, he's trying to convince himself that he's not into this girl. As for you two spending time together, I don't care what you do and when. What you two are now are "friends with benefits." You'll be the girl he screws when he wants to, talks to about other girls, and continues to call a friend.

Yes, his telling you all of that DOES mean he only wants to be friends with you. How do I know? I'm a woman and I've lived long enough to know, if a man wants a relationship with one woman; he's not going to have sex with one and talk about another, in response to a questions about studying! Trust me, she is probably the one that declined his offer for Friday, and that's why he's offered to spend it with you, the "alternate" girl. Believe me, if she decided to give him a call about Friday, you'll hear nothing, or you'll hear an excuse for why he couldn't make it. But, whether it happens or not, know that you haven't been established as anything more than a friend or "buddy." Friends with benefits do hang out and care about each other. They do talk about other men or women. So, what's going on between you two now is nothing unusual.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I think you should move on. If you want, you can be up front with him and ask him if the two of you are just friends, but don't bank on getting the response that you want. In my experience, If a guy is wishy-washy like this he doesn't change. Don't wait around for him, you deserve better!

- Response by pinkcake21, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Minneapolis, Other Profession

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That he doesn't want a relationship with you. I don't know if the other story about the other girl is completely true...he might've lied about this part or that part...what I do know is that he told you about this other girl to send you a message. That he isn't interested in seriously dating you, and he is completely open when a girl comes along that he is interested in dating. That is not you, and never will be for him. Move on and find someone who would not DARE talk about another girl to you, trust me they exists and it is what you deserve, and nothing less.

- Response by theinlaw30, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45

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