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Help! My boyfriend just found out his ex is pregnant. Should I stay?
Dating / 1:20 AM - Friday February 05, 2010

Help! My boyfriend just found out his ex is pregnant. Should I stay?

Help! My boyfriend just found out his ex is pregnant. Should I stay?

I'm a successful and attractive 37 year-old living with a successful 45 year-old. We've been together for 7 months when his ex (they only dated for 2 weeks one month prior to meeting me) contacted him via email that she is pregnant with his child. He believes the child is probably his and wants to a part of the child's life but not with the ex. We are both hurt as we were discussing having our own children and marriage. We love each other - but is this too much for a newish relationship to handle? My 2 best friends are split - guy says "move on...more guys out there that don't have the baggage" and girl says "he obviously loves you - see how it plays out." It's ultimately my decision, but I'm so confused. Adding to the confusion is the fact that he still hasn't updated his facebook page and removed the many pics of him with other women (entertainment events prior to our relationship). I know this is small in comparison to the pregnancy - but another flag that shouldn't be ignored. What should I do?

Update: February 05, 2010.
thanks dreamspinner - I would support my boyfriend and help raise the child. I love children...just very difficult for me to think of him going through this special experience with another women.

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Celebrity

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My lady the thing is it happened before he met you and it the past ,but now she is going to have his child, I would have to see proof that it is and not a hairbrained scheme to keep him as I had that happen to me as a young man finding out that the baby was NOT mine!!If you two love and care for each other then stay together because now he is with you and he can support the baby financially and see it with you and leave the ex alone. It wasnt meant to happen like this but it is what it is and if its his he needs to take care of it and hopefully your love for him is strong enough to handle this. Be strong and stand behond him if things are serious??

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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If they dated two weeks one month prior to him meeting you... and you've been together seven months... she must be due pretty soon. First, I would verify the math to be sure it was his... and to be sure he wasn't with her when we was with you.

Of course, a child means he is linked to her for at least the next 18 years. And he still is linking to other women on Facebook. You have some thinking to do, especially on the math, but if you are living together and love each other, love can conquer all. It is going to be a rough road for a while, though.

- Response by undecidedfuture1, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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dont make any decisions right now...first breathe...this aint the end of the world...its a baby...

wait until the baby is born, get a paternity test and then decide...by that time you will of had time to talk to him, think rationally, and for it all to sink in.

and if in fact, the baby is his, there is something to be said of a man that will take responsibility for his child and be there for him/her. i wouldnt want to be with any man that didnt.

- Response by sherocks, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Internet / New Media

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Wow she must be due for delivery thats been 8 mos. of course he'll want a dna to determine, I would think. Youre guy friends say "Leave, girl friends say Stay.

Most men would leave if their gf announced she wasknocked up by her ex. whereas us females are more loyal.My opinion]
This calls for a lot of committment for all involved the sake of the child must be highly considered. how do you feel about helping raise his child? this is a serious situation. And financially draining. if you love him enough to stay after all that is happening, then I wish you all the best.

- Response by dreamspinner, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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WHat doES amaze me is the number of pregnancies occuring with the amazing amount of birth control available today.

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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That's not his kid. That heffa found out he had someone else and wants to mess up his relationship and he is letting her do it.

He should have told her "well, after we get a DNA test and I see if the child is mine for sure, I will do what I need to do for the child, but I never want to have anything to do with YOU ever again. So let me know when the baby is old enough and you are ready for the DNA test. Until then, don't call here."

That is what he should have done.

- Response by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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Becareful and think about your future. I would really take my time to think about this and weigh my options and I don't even know this guy but it seems like there are already too many red flags though they small but they are still there. U could wait for the DNA test in a few weeks then see if u can handle it cause it might not be his but who knows, I know I'm not that strong , I left my bf when he had a baby cause he had cheated when we were 2months in the relationship but I found out 2wks before the baby was born that he had been denyin it, I was 19 and didn't tell him I found out ,I waited till the baby was born n I saw the pictures, it was so obvious he was the father so I left him for cheating and lying plus I wasn't ready for any drama and might never be... Good luck!

- Response by musical85, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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What ever happened here??? What was the outcome?? I'm curious. My bf of 2 months found out he's going to be a daddy with someone from another country he considered his "girlfriend". She is a bit "loose" from the pic's I've seen and I've googled her--so after he left, she could have been with someone else...or it could just be his.ll

Anyhow...what was the outcome?

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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