I'm not saying it can't happen, but, how does a guy turn out to be passive aggressive? I thought most guys were direct, erring on the side of "aggressive".
Passive Aggressive is like, if he promises to take you to your favorite show... but then, INTENTIONALLY doesn't do it because he's secretly mad at you while pretending to be "fine".
Then, if you mention it, knowing you're right, he'll accuse you of being controlling or abusive, and if you get justifiably angry, he'd point to that to validate his victim status.
Then, he'd come on Answerology and give a very short, very vague story about his relationship where he makes you seem abusive, and tons of people would jump to his cause without ever having spoken to you or know the whole story.
In my experience, I rarely run into guys who are like that... a guy would rather yell at you directly. Guys are usually the ones on the receiving end of that treatment.
There are a lot of guys who are bullshitters, and then too lazy to follow through on what they said. But, that's not passive-aggressive, just lazy and un-disciplined. They might even say something just to get you to leave them alone, but, again, that's more lazy and uncaring.
(not sayin' that's a good quality, that's infuriating too)
But passive aggressive is more like this:
Him: "What's wrong, why are you upset?"
Her: "I'm FINE."
Him: "Um... you don't seem fine."
Her: "Oh really? Why do you think that would be?"
Him: "I dunno, that's why I'm asking? You've been acting different."
Her: (thinking) "If he really loved me, he'd know that X, Y, Z and I wouldn't have to tell him... I guess I just won't do anything around the house until he figures it out. Serves him right."
THAT, is passive aggressive.
If your guy is doing that kind of stuff to you, you have my utmost sympathy.
Passive aggressive people rarely even recognize how much damage they are doing, or that any of it is their fault.
If your guy is just a little on the lazy side, it's much easier to fix.
I hope that helped?
Best of luck!
- Response by wp2007
, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Artist / Musician / Writer