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When you feel all alone and the world is closing in all around you......
Friendship / 1:14 PM - Wednesday January 20, 2010

When you feel all alone and the world is closing in all around you......

what do you do? where do you go? what do you say? how do you handle your lonliness?

I feel like all the people I am closest too are slowly walking away, not because of me, but because of what they are dealing with right now in their own lives,

I am guessing I should just sit back, relax and hope one day they will miss me, think about me and eventually call me!

I am always the one to call, always the one to keep in touch, always the one to truly care how they are doing?

I know life is really bad right now for everyone, but this is the time we should draw closer to one another...not farther apart!

- Asked by jamiesangel777, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Miami

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You're right. People should pull together when they're having troubles, but sadly, most don't. Lots of different reasons why. Sometimes people are embarrassed, sometimes they're depressed. Some people (like me) don't like to burden others with their problems.

All you can do is be as supportive as you can, be there if they call on you, and allow them to deal in their own way.

- Response by rokitman, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I remember those feelings from long ago. Just like recovering from a failed relationship, the feelings passed and life got better. It seems that time is the great healer.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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I usually end up curled up in a bar somewhere... <jk>

No seriously this is a topic that I deal with regularly... I'm the one person, out of all my friends, who seems to be the one who is always the glue... If I don't stay in touch -- no one does.

Sometimes I get offended, and at other times I think to myself... how selfish they are... but then I realize they are so busy they really don't care how I feel or what I've got going on etc...

And your right.. they slowly walk away and deal with problems that they are surrounded with.. if not their own...

Especially someone who is now married with kids etc. They are always at a practice, a game, some in-law holiday party, something is ALWAYS going on with this guy...

I have grew up with this guy -- literally... I know his entire family -- brothers, sisters, cousins, parents etc.

Last Christmas I spoke to his Dad and a few of his brothers and heard there was going to be a party at Steve's House before Christmas... I've been to this party several times in the past but usually get invited. I've known them since I was about 12 years old....

This year I assumed I'd be invited but.. the invite never did come. Even though he had a chance to ask... he didn't -- that hurt.

I really wanted to spend time with he and his family...

I understand your pain...

- Response by skycop, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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People create their own lonliness. People with jobs and families don't have time to keep validating the existence of people who need that. Sitting back and hoping they feel sympathy for you isn't going to work..Volunteer as those people really need help and you will be so busy you will forget about validation, Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I agree, sometimes I just don't feel appreciated by the ones I care about and it sucks. I guess they are too busy with their own lives to give me a call. I just try not to feel sorry for myself and go about my day trying to stay positive, by going to the gym to work out or take a fun class.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Perhaps I am viewing this as a gentle reminder that I need to pick up the phone myself and make a few calls or spend some time with those near and dear to me.
My family has been having a rough time as of late and although we are a very close family I needed to find my own healing time as well. We all deal with things differently, I myself tend to close myself off and reflect in my own world.

Just MIA for a while..........


- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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when push comes to shove, i need my family and friends. if they aren't there then, i lose a little bit of respect for them. too many of those times and they are out of my life...

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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I know exactly how you feel.We are not alone in this.Kids get busy with thier lives and dreams and we look in the distance.Friends going thru tough times and withdrawing.You would think we would huddle together thru the storms.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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It always was that way with me, too. I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with the mentality of those in this State. It doesn't matter if they are "crackers" (born here), or transplanted ones; this has to be the unfriendliest state in the union!

Life was ALWAYS tough in Florida; wages always sucked...we were behind with everything in comparison to the Northeast. Everyone struggled unless they were doctors and lawyers or professional people in general.

Nothing really changed. I lost friends when I kept moving. So, that was part of it.

I've been living in this complex for over 10 years and have no friends...NOT THAT I HAVEN'T TRIED!!!! I thoroughly enjoy talented and intelligent people and finally met two, but they are always and forever SICK and in PAIN. Goes with the age group, I suppose, but I think their wrists would break if they ever picked up the phone!!!

Get a hobby. Something you can do by yourself that really intrigues you; take a class in something you are interested in if you can afford a babysitter. Depending upon people to call you is a lost cause.

If your friends are up against hard times, then they probably don't feel like talking, anyway, so it's your responsibility to "let go" and find what keeps you occupied those hours when the kids are in school and the housework/cooking is done.



- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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You are correct that we should draw closer to one another. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own drama that we forget that others may need a little support.
Keep in contact with those friends, sometimes just being there and them knowing they can, if they really need you, have a soft place to land. It's hard to be the only one to reach out, but, you are...so go with it. IJS

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I agree.... but then again....when things suck for me ...I don't want to burden others with it...and really prefer to be alone

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Hi,

I live a town that is so un-social. I do have a close family.
The friends I have here are as you discribed. I always am the
one to call, keep in touch etc. All the friends are nice people, and when we are together we always have good friendship!
My daughter lives in a small town in Colorado, and they are getting together all the time, playing cards, chatting, stopping
by etc. Soo, what does this tell you. In bigger cities, the pace is faster, and people are totallly accupied with what-ever.
Hey, listen..I wouldn't worry about it. You got the right idea,
just sit back, relax, but do the things that make you happy, if
that is possible! That's what I do! My attitude is call if you
wanna, I still like you, but I am busy too!

Anyway, just focus on your own happiness, and quit worry-in,
about what other people are doing. Plus, you can always meet
new friends. Right now my Band Members are my favorite people!
We have things in common. I quit going to a music jam, where
I have tons of friends, that was over a year ago. I quit same
reason, no one calls or stops by. Oh.. and they always want to
invite me to their place, but the street runs both ways...lol!!

Thanks for asking,
Keep your chin up!
Don

- Response by don07, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Las Vegas, Self-Employed

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true

- Response by Ghostrider8t0, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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