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I cant get rid of my crazy wife.
Married Life / 10:34 AM - Wednesday January 20, 2010

I cant get rid of my crazy wife.

On Jan 21 will be my 10 year anniversary. We have a 9 year old daughter. I live just outside of Washington DC. Almost 2 years ago I found out she was cheating on me with a guy she referred to me as her cousin. He turned out to be a 3rd cousin. Still gross to me but whatever. She finally moved out but realized she couldn't afford to live on her own. My daughter stayed with me. While we were separated I tried to date but she ruined it every time. But she did whatever she wanted. She wanted to move to Chicago to be with the guy but knew that I am a good father and could never get full custody. So she filed a lawsuit saying I beat her and tried to kill her and that she feared for her life. She wanted everything. Of course I never touched her, no bruises, police reports, witnesses or anything so she lost. So she filed again. I had the case dropped because we admitted to having sex a year after the separation. So the separation had to start all over and the guy didn't want to wait. So he went back to his wife. My wife ended up moving back into my house without my permission. The police told me she had every right to be in the house. She is still seeing other guys and stealing my money and using my daughter as a crutch to stay in the house. Almost 2 years now and I am lonely and need something to change. I cant leave the house because it is in my name and I am the only one that pays bills in the house. But if I left she would just let the house get foreclosed. The lawyers already drained my life savings defending myself. She constantly says she can do whatever she wants and it is none of my business. But tells me I better not be seeing anyone or she is going back to the lawyers. This is how crazy she is. She didn't go to work and had one of her friends pick up my daughter from school. When I asked where she was she said it was none of my business and she can see whoever she wants. Then 10 mins later says oh by the way it is our anniversary on Thu and for my present I want a really nice watch. How do you deal with someone that is completely out of their minds????????

Update: January 20, 2010.
lol already thought of that. I cannot leave the state with my daughter without her permission otherwise it is kidnapping. Also thanks to the economy I am unable to sell my house. I had over $200k in equity before and now I am upsidedown about $100k. So I guess I just need to wait until the housing market goes back up so I can get out.

Update: January 20, 2010.
Here is the problem with getting a divorce. The state of virginia says we have to be separated for 12 months because we have a daughter. The police said I have no right to make her leave the house. The law says if she spends one night under the same roof as me our 1 year separation starts over. I am stuck being married. This is my problem.

- Asked by nezumi15, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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gezzzzzz I hope someone has a clue because I do not


you could look into some abuse support in your area , it is usally

free , they can guide you to all sort of other legal supports and

help you to come up with a plan to reclaim yourlife.

- Response by morningdust, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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You are experiencing all of these problems because she is still your WIFE ... get a divorce already!
Or be happy continuing with your marriage drama.

- Response by andrewj5267, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Miami, Teaching

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Wow - what a nightmare for you - I'm really sorry.

First of all - stand up for yourself. Don't let her tell you what you will and will not do.

I'd tell her she has 2 weeks to find a new place to live and after that, she's out. I'd move all of her crap into storage & pay for the first 4 months. After that, you're done paying for the storage.

I know you have no money left. But find a way to file for divorce & protect your custody of your daughter.

Hang in there.

Welcome to answerology.

- Response by wheezerman, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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From what you say, this lady is crazy like a fox. you might want to pick her up a Movado or Rolex as she said for the anniversary. who said men cant be victims of domestic abuse? I wish you and the daughter well.

- Response by dreamspinner, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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You don't need to be seperated to file for divorce.
Every time you file for a seperation, you screw yourself.
Go to a BETTER lawyer, and file. If you can't afford a lawyer, because of the crazy wife, go to "legal aid".
If all else fails, move out. Let them foreclose on the house with her in it. You CAN get custody. Start taking notes. Every time she goes out, everything she does, what money she takes, EVERYTHING can be used in court!!
Good luck.
Oh and tell the lying, cheater to buy her own watch.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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If the house is in your name you could sell it and use the money to make the divorce happen and secure half time custody.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Start gathering your proof that she is cheating... phone records, pictures, recordings of her saying she sees whoever she wants. This will be your proof to file for a divorce due to your wife having an affair, which when it comes to dividing up the assets... things will go in your favor. In the meantime, you may really want to consider letting the home go into foreclosure. My parents separated when they were in their 30's. When my Mom left, my Dad could not afford the mortgage on his own anymore and let it go into foreclosure in both their names. Yes, this tore into their credit rating... but they have since then made a fresh start and have excellent credit (The foreclosure is now off their record). You have to start considering what is more important here- your happiness/peace of mind or something materialistic (the house/your credit). If you do let the house foreclose- start looking at apartments/homes now that are for rent before you let the house go into foreclosure so that you will be approved. If the mortgage loan on your credit report is questioned, say that you are looking to downsize and rent out your house- you already have renters lined up. You are in a really bad situation, and I really feel for you- no one deserves to be tormented like this. She is completely taking advantage of the whole situation and putting you through hell- it's time for you to step up and give her a taste of her own medicine.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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Wow, sounds like you should be praying because none of the obvious answers will work for you. First though, I would hide my money or get it in a safety deposit box that she can't touch. I would do what ever I could to control the situation and give my child a life as normal as possible. I would give her a book on relationships for an anniversary present, and a trip to a marriage counselor. I would look out for drug use or any other behavior changing things. I would not become a doormat but I also would not fight with her. Treat her like a roommate and for goodness sake - don't have sex with her. You should build up your relationships with your family and friends. Consult with a reliable lawyer as to how to best handle the situation and you could also get some counseling yourself,without her. It may lead to some life changing decisions.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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I took this of a virginia website concerning divorce laws, do some research dude, get a knew lawyer there is a way around that even if she is in the home:

In Virginia, it is not absolutely necessary for the couple to live under separate roofs even though they file for voluntary separation. If you and your spouse chose to remain under one roof while living separate and apart you will want at least one independent witness (such as a very frequent visitor) to testify as to your living separate and apart with no cohabitation for the period of time required by the Commonwealth

- Response by media, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Norfolk, Other Profession

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Thank you for reminding me why I never want to get married.

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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GET OUT ALREADY!!!! You sound like a FRIGGIN DRAMA QUEEN......... Get your Daughter and Move to somewhere else..... Put the House on the Market....she will leave when all the utilities are turned off. Waiting around for a Hosing Market to come back is a Crock and you know it.....

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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I know this guy...Him and his wife used to live across the street from us.His wife is a pretty hot asian woman.I never though she was how he describes her.Actually she was pretty nice and I though he was a jerk.But I guess you never know.Haven't talked to either of them in years but I do know that at one time he was posting on a swinger website supposedly looking for women for her to have bi-sex with.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55

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Dude you and me are on the same boat. i also have a wife that i can not get rid off her. She is a complete bitch and psycho. i m in mongolia and we have even worse men's right situation in here than that of yours. The worst thing is that no matter how hard i tried for 3 years to get a separation she is now pregnant. she beats abuses attacks everytime i go out with my friends. we have lived together for 6 years and have 6 year old daughter. Your problem really sounds similar to that of mine that s why i am answering to your call for support from others


- Response by bayaraa, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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Dude you and me are on the same boat. i also have a wife that i can not get rid off her. She is a complete bitch and psycho. i m in mongolia and we have even worse men's right situation in here than that of yours. The worst thing is that no matter how hard i tried for 3 years to get a separation she is now pregnant. she beats abuses attacks everytime i go out with my friends. we have lived together for 6 years and have 6 year old daughter. Your problem really sounds similar to that of mine that s why i am answering to your call for support from others


- Response by bayaraa, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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