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He says I belong to him...
Dating / 4:46 PM - Tuesday January 19, 2010

He says I belong to him...

is there ANY way to gently tell him that I disagree?
I mean, I don't like the idea of being anyone's possession. Do you think he'll be mad at me if I tell him I don't belong to him?

Maybe I'm just taking it the wrong way?
Has anyone else been told something like this?
I don't know what to think of it!

Update: January 21, 2010.
Wow! I got tons of responses on this one! Thanks everyone! One thing though... I can't believe so many men came up here saying "You don't really love him" How rude! Don't tell me how I feel about MY boyfriend! You don't know me. Just because I don't want to be treated like a possession does NOT mean that I don't love him! You boys need a reality check. Any self respecting woman is not going to let you treat her like an object. We are not objects or trophies for you to "own". We are people too! I am loyal to him, yes, but I do not belong to anyone. I am my own person.

- Asked by hannasu, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

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Ummm, you need to make it clear that you are no one's possesion. This could turn into a potentially dangerous situation, so tell him your feelings and thoughts immediately. Any rational person should be willing to hear you out and if not then that's your sign to get out of there ASAP

- Response by charlybrown86, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Military

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Why would you gently tell him you don't belong to him? That sort of comment can be endearing if said the right way, but clearly you didn't find it endearing. You took it as robbing you of your dignity. And you have to defend your dignity. Ultimately, it's all you have.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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GENTLY tell him? You do not belong to anyone, and there is no need to be gentle about it. Why tip toe around a control freak bastard?

- Response by mountainchic, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Sounds like you managed to really get -- deep -- into his heart and he is unable to express himself in ways to you that make sense.

I agree with you in theory.. but the real question comes in practice.. this said by him.. will you now be treated differently or the same?

This can be interpreted many different ways and -- the comment is cryptic for something else...

be sensitive and probe him with questions.

- Response by skycop, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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my husband constentally tells me im his but dont argue if hes anything like my man he means it in a good way meaning your his girlfriend favorite however he means it it is all in good fun dont get upset or mad about it

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 22-25, Home Maker

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When i hear my bf say that it makes me happy! knowing he loves me that much. i know in my mind i dont belong to anyone but me. but he is the type of guy that dont know how to put his feelings out there lol

- Response by rikacannon16, An Engaged Girl, Female, 26-28, Financial / Banking

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Don't tell him gently...Tell him right out that you don't belong to him or anyone else. You are your own person and not some ones possession. If he gets angry...too bad...but YOU need to set him straight on this right up front.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Kick him in the b@lls every time he says that. He will soon never to say those words.

- Response by lom2009, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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Tell him u are with him because u want to be not because u have to be

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Ask him to elaborate. "What exactly do you mean by that?". If he is being cutesy and joking then I wouldn't be too concerned, but if he is the jealous controlling type, you need to put a stop to that immediately.

- Response by anonymouspersona, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Miami, Student

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Let him know that you appreciate the fact that he thinks enough of you to say something like this but you are not a 'possession' who he can 'keep'...you are a human being and should be treated as such...only 'things' are possessions, not people and considering how it seems to bother you, there might be a reason why it bothers you...maybe you feel he is too possessive or that you would rather hear him tell you something different...whatever the case may be, it might be best to speak to him from your heart and let him know how him saying this to you makes you feel...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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It's only OK if he belongs to you in return.

I'm sure he meant it as an endearment.

- Response by TheSshhmoe, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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No person is the property of another. IMO words convey alot in thinking and behavior and so it's just not appropriate to use statement conveying the you are someone else's possession. It's no more right to say this than for someone to say they are going to kill someone. You can say they don't really mean it or it's semantics. But words carry powerful intent and legacies. They project patterns of behavior into the future.
I am no man's possession. It's why I don't wear a wedding ring on in daily practice use my last name. These things are of another time when women were property. I will not participate in that thinking.
And it has been my experience that as soon as you let another person think they "have you" or "possess you" they start to denigate and dismiss you. They cease to work to "have" you. Because that is how these people think. Work to have and then once having..want more or different.


- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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No person is the property of another. IMO words convey alot in thinking and behavior and so it's just not appropriate to use statement conveying the you are someone else's possession. It's no more right to say this than for someone to say they are going to kill someone. You can say they don't really mean it or it's semantics. But words carry powerful intent and legacies. They project patterns of behavior into the future.
I am no man's possession. It's why I don't wear a wedding ring on in daily practice use my last name. These things are of another time when women were property. I will not participate in that thinking.
And it has been my experience that as soon as you let another person think they "have you" or "possess you" they start to denigate and dismiss you. They cease to work to "have" you. Because that is how these people think. Work to have and then once having..want more or different.


- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I have been told that. It all depends on the person it is coming from really and how they are saying it. I would probably laugh it off, if he does it again and it keeps bugging you just tell him, nicely though. You don't belong to anyone. Maybe he meant it in a sweet way?

- Response by ashleycountry, Female, 22-25, Hospitality

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THE BUFFER is correct.

- Response by j3s5e, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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If you were truly in love with him, then you would like him saying that your his possession, but your not, so you don't.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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