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Why do you guys "ignore" women they like? Or, they say they like?
Dating / 10:12 AM - Monday January 18, 2010

Why do you guys "ignore" women they like? Or, they say they like?

Is it because they're afraid? And why are they so different when you're hanging out, but, when you don't see them and just text they seem cold.. Explain, Please!

- Asked by ashabee09, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28, Internet / New Media

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If a guy truly likes you, he doesn't ignore you. He might not tell you how he feels and he might take his time in asking you out, but he does NOT ignore you. A man usually lets you know that he is interested in you, and that doesn't include ignoring you. If he is just texting rather than talking with you on the phone or he isn't trying to see you or spend time with you, I would question how much he really liked me. Sounds to me that he is keeping his distance for some reason, and I wouldn't waste my time wondering how he felt especially if he was ignoring me.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Therapist

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Texts don't express emotion... it's simply the form of communication you are using does not express emotion well, thus the "seeming cold". Some people also don't like to text b/c it takes long to type out words, so they keep the words to a minimal

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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Insecurity. Lack of self confidence. FEAR OF REJECTION. These are guy secrets, so keep them to yourself, ok?

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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Frankly, I think texting is a rather cold way of communicating with someone to begin with simply because the vast majority of communication is in fact non-verbal. Texting removes all the visual and auditory cues -- facial expression, tone of voice, etc. -- which people rely upon without being aware of it. This makes it easier for people to misinterpret each other through this medium...so it's possible that you perceive what he says as cold when it really isn't intended that way.

If a man's behavior seems to indicate that he's interested in you when you're by yourselves but changes when the two of you are around other people (such as his friends or people he knows), it's possible that he feels the need to "play it cool" because he thinks his friends will think less of him if he makes it obvious just how much he likes you. Granted, wanting to save his own ego at your expense might not be a very mature or considerate motivation -- but it is human. Rightly or wrongly, men don't seem to mature emotionally as quickly as women do (probably in part because our society discourages them from indulging freely in their emotions). It's not impossible that they're also somewhat afraid of their own feelings and reluctant to let themselves get too close because they don't want to be rejected or disappointed. Not all men are entirely confident of their own ability to attract a woman or keep her interested, and it's possible that they might be trying to keep their distance so that they won't be rejected or have their hearts broken.

- Response by giginyc, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I don't ignore them but I am one of the strange pepole who like to work up from friendship so that I can tell if they feel the same for me. men don't like getting turned down just as much as the females who ask don't.

- Response by fritsberends, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 22-25, Fitness

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The only woman I really liked (and figured I would have no chance with) ended up telling me (after 18 months of working together on a project) that she wouldn't be opposed to my asking her out sometime.

Within a year of that, we were married.

- Response by lom2009, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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