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I recently found out my ex has a new girlfriend and I'm surprised how hurt and sad I felt.
Dating / 11:05 AM - Saturday January 16, 2010

I recently found out my ex has a new girlfriend and I'm surprised how hurt and sad I felt.

I was shaken up, actually. Is something wrong with me to feel this way? I'm not sad to the point I'd cry... but it has brought me feeling very down. It's been a year and a half,and no contact for almost a year. So, not sure why I'd react this way. I looked at my phone and realized i still have his number so I deleted it, then went onto my email and found his email address and deleted that also. I never use facebook but I remember he added me on there, so I checked and he was still on my friends list. He had a picture up that is of him and her. I didn't look at his webpage.

For those of you who has gone through this or for whatever reason felt this way, what were the reasons? Do I still have feelings deep down? How did you get over this? Thank you very much.

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?

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its ok to feel hurt. but since its been so long, it wasn't cheating. it just means you haven't fully greived the loss yet. and some of us still feel something for an ex when they move on. that is if we felt anything at all. however, its life and we need to move on. take time to fill that gap with hobbies and friends and family. and eventually you'll meet the right person for you.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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I think its the finality that causes those feelings.

When my ex remarried, even though I didn't want to be married to him any longer, it hit me like that.

I felt melancholy. I didn't cry, didn't need to, but there was a sadness of the finality of the divorce...the end of a chapter of my life.

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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Community Rating: Community Star

sounds like you still have some kind of feelings for him. he has moved on and that hurts you, even though you haven't talked for a year.

i know it is easier said than done, but try to get over it. keep yourself busy. the first few days will be the hardest. time does heal.

good luck!

- Response by nationalguardwife04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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You definitely still have feelings for this guy. Only way to get over it completely is to find someone new as well. Or, if you can't get over it than talk to him about it. He may feel the same way. Try not to ruin his current relationship though.

- Response by ashleycountry, Female, 22-25, Hospitality

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I felt the same when my ex husband moved in with another woman. Just sort of blue. Someone else said "it's the finality" and I think that's true. You'll be OK in a little while and there's nothing unusual about it. It's good to have feelings.

- Response by paulinern, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Toronto, Medical / Dental

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f**k him. go out with me. then HE will be the one feeling melancholy. :-)

i'm assuming you're single now? did he break it off? sounds like you're lonely or something.

- Response by dudemcguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Student

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What part of "ex" are you having trouble understanding. Is it the "e" part of the "x" part?

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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I have gone thru something similar recently. lol. and have tried very hard to put my feelings in perspective, but what it boils down to for me is that- i am virgo- i hate to think hes having a nice life somewhere with someone else. unthinkable. grrrrr ... but i dont want him back either.

- Response by mortishia99, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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