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How come some men say they don't ever want to get married? Why does a guy not want to?
Jokes, Polls & Anything Else / 9:45 AM - Tuesday January 12, 2010

How come some men say they don't ever want to get married? Why does a guy not want to?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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I think some men that say this have never (in their mind) had a woman worth the risk of marrying. There's a lot more consequences for a Man than a Woman, esp if Children and property are involved due to Divorce Court tendencies, major responsibility of supporting a family, losing certain freedoms, being under the watch of someone else all the time, etc.

I find that Men that are in love with Good women do want to be married to her & willing accept the risks to reap the benefits.

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Okay lets just look at it this way....

I own two good retail businesses.
I own several pieces of business rental Property
I own my own house

Now tell me, if you had all of that and you had worked hard for it, would you rush to take a gamble that could lose you half or more of that. I mean it would be one thing if a owman came to the table with the same amount, but I rarely see women coming to the table with the same amount as the man they are dating and look to marry. Women are taught to marry up, and also have the idea that half of that is theirs once the wedding occurs.

It isn't that I wouldn't want to give her half as much as I wouldn't want to give her half of what I worked so hard for and then let her run it into the ground after the divorce. That is what happens alot.

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

Greed, pure and simple. I see a lot of men mention losing half of what they have in the case of divorce, which is really only valid if he came into the marriage with those assets. Anything acquired during the marriage is fair game and *should* be split 50/50 in the case of divorce. I understand somewhat the beef they have with child support as just about every divorced man I know who has shared 50/50 custody of the kids with his ex wife also pays child support. Nobody should have to pay anything if the custody is 50/50 and in those instances the fathers are actually being ordered to do more than their "fair share" and are understandably sore that their ex is profiting financially. I know a man who is a firefighter who shares custody of his 2 kids where they are with their mom 4 days a week and with him 3. Not only does he have to pay child support to his ex, but it is court ordered that he not work during those three days he has his kids, which is bulls#@t since the judge didn't order his ex to do the same. She can work whatever schedule she wants whether she has the kids or not, but the father has been ordered not only to pay child support based on his income going into the divorce, but also to take a further reduction in that income in the form of working fewer days. In all fairness, there are women in the same predicament as well, and those terms are not fair to anyone.

On the other hand, I do think in some cases the men are being overly paranoid. They hear of famous cases like Paul McCartney and other celebs where the women involved will be set for life, and in their mind they think that will be the case with every schmuck making 40k/yr living in a 700 sq. ft house. A lot of these men would probably actually profit from marriage if they would quit nursing their silly little phobias. I find it interesting too that it seems the very men who say they are afraid of being taken financially by a woman are the same ones who broadcast their financial successes to all around and actually use that to reel in the women in the first place, and then complain that they attract gold diggers. Well, if that's their strategy, yeah they are probably going to get burned and I have a hard time feeling any sympathy toward these guys who should have been smarter in the first place (i.e. they should have relied on who they are as a person and not what they have financially to attract women. If making it about your money is your strategy, you are reducing whatever relationship may come to a business deal right from the get-go. Decent women will be turned off by this but the gold diggers will see a green light to proceed to take whatever they can get. That should be obvious to any fool with half a brain, right?)

- Response by A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Never is a long time. Most guys who say not ever feel that way at the moment, but eventually change their mind. Especially as they get older and settle down from their player ways.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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A man doesn't benefit from it at all, whereas women do.

- Response by jillopo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

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any of several reasons.... 2 of which are, they have been burned/hurt really bad by an X or they just don't have any luck finding the right woman.
Personally, I cant seem to find any my age that want to get married that aren't after .... immediate financial gain.

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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I can't speak for men, but maybe some of them share the reasons I have for not wanting to get married:

1. I don't want to be anyone's property. People will tell you that's not how it is, but they're wrong. That's why the woman takes the man's name and not the other way around. That's why the man asks the woman's father permission. I find this practice to be archaic and sexist.

2. I don't want the government interfering in my relationship. Why on Earth do I need a license to make a commitment to someone I love?? That's just stupid.

3. I'm an atheist. I don't feel the need to make a statement to god(s) about my love for my partner.

4. People change. I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago, and I probably won't be the same person I am now in another 5, 25 or 50 years. Neither will he. Most relationships don't last forever, so why make a promise you may not be able to keep?

5. Some people do end up living "happily ever after", and I hope my partner and I get to, but I don't think we need a ceremony or huge party first in order to make that happen. What's more important is working continually on the relationship together.

- Response by steff81, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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Most men know several guy freinds who went through an ugly divorce and know how slanted the system is agaainst them.

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Technical

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All these people saying men don't want to marry because of all the crap they'd lose in a divorce is a bunch of bullshit. Maybe it happened 50 years ago.

Women have as much to lose as men these days. If you don't believe me, why don't you marry me, divorce me, and see how much better off you are. Either that or call my 2 ex-husbands.

- Response by catscratch, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Executive

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....what our friend juandontthink forgot to add is that he didn't himself build the businesses or buy the property......and his mommy and daddy would be awful sore at him if he let a girl take them away from him..

- Response by nameacarl, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Oostende, Self-Employed

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Marriage has become a legal minefield for men. The average man has seen his father, brother, and friends get taken to the cleaners in a "no-fault" divorce. The law once made marriage into an agreement with benefits on both sides, but under feminist law marriage no longer has any legal benefits for men. Men only get risk and obligations.

A good scholarly book on the one-sided legal minefield of marriage is, "Legalizing Misandry: From Public Shame to Systemic Discrimination Against Men" by Paul Nathanson
and Katherine Young. One chapter focuses on the way that feminist law has turned marriage into a legal lifetime disaster for men.

Many men do not want to risk all their money and lives only to end up like their fathers and brothers, divorced, poor, and with 20 years of indentured servitude (slavery) under the euphemism of "support."

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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isnt that their opinion and choice?

- Response by CuppyCakey, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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Possibly because a lot of times, especially with the high rates of divorce, guys tend to think that taking a risk where they could lose all they've worked for could be too high a risk to take...some guys may not want to lose their freedom or sense of freedom by committing to just one person...or possibly because they've had relationships turn out badly and don't want to risk having their heart hurt again...besides, if anyone profits from it, it would probably be more beneficial for a woman to marry than a man to marry because a man risks losing more than a woman, especially if the man has his own business or house or assets...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Because they don't believe in love, or because they want to 'sow their wild oats' and be promiscious for the rest of their life.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I think a lot of them believe that they will lose their independence, that they will be controlled, they believe that their lives as they know it will change. A lot of men make their married lives seem like a 180 turn in their lives and gullible men tend to take those stories as facts.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Medical / Dental

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