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Why does my girlfriend get so mad when i...
5:32 AM - Thursday May 29, 2003

why does my girlfriend get so mad when i...

why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 18-21, Indianapolis, Food Service

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She's testing you to see if she is your number one priority. Even if she's not, a smart man will pretend she is. She wants to believe that you'd rather spend time with her than with anyone else. She wants to be more important than your friends, or you family, or your dog. So here's what you do....

Instead of: I'm going on a camping weekend with the guys! Woo Hoo! Par-tay!!

You say: I have this camping thing coming up with the guys. We do it every year. I really have to go, but I'd rather be with you than in a stupid tent. I feel so guilty leaving you alone all weekend.

She'll fall for that pretty easy.

Always make it sound like hanging out with the guys isn't as much fun as being with her, but they are your friends, so you have to spend some time with them. Act annoyed that they don't have girlfriends to hang out with.

Don't tell her I told you how to win this game, okay?
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by bunkie, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Boston, Consulting

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I'm not sure how old you and your girlfriend are, but, I think what most girls, once they get into a relationship, are so fixated on their new beau, they almost exclude everything else in order to focus on their new love. I had a friend, whose girlfriend hated all of his friends, and thought they were losers. As a result, whenever he went out with these friends, his lady love would get pretty riled and upset. In reality, what she was doing was "grooming" him into the man she wanted to be with. Also, most people go to the bar and hang out with their friends when their "on the prowl" Possibly, your girlfriend realizes this, and is therefore a little insecure. She might also wonder why you want to hang with your friends instead of her. It all depends on what's important to you. I always say, when you find the one that does it for you, you would rather be hanging with her than going out with your friends.(By the way, the friend I mentioned ended up breaking up with his girl, and went on to find his true love)
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by smkydz, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Ottawa, Self-Employed

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The first question... Are they females? Most girlfriends have problems with female friends for a few good reasons. For starters, odds are the girlfriend began at the female friend stage, so she knows how attractive you can be to them. Also, although most guys are IN YOUR FACE about everything, many females are devious. They will smile in your face, and steal your man in a heartbeat. Especailly if they don't know you all that well personally.

If they are male friends its obviously an issue of time. You can tell what your priorities are, when you look at how you spend your time. Maybe she feels like she doesn't see you enough, because you are always hanging out with them instead of with her.

Also, you may be making the mistake of never inviting her to hang out with your friends. Not to say she should go everytime, but the fact that you NEVER invite her makes things a little suspicious.

Hope you don't think I'm some kind of crazy vindicitive jealous chick or something, I'm just trying to tell it like it is,and should you feel the need to contact me further I can be reached at sweetnotsticky at aol.com.

Crys
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by cryslareyna, A Thinker, Female, 18-21, Atlanta, Student

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Maybe, if you ask her yourself instead of strangers you will get the answer you been waiting for.
I'm thinking she gets mad because she doesn't have any control when you are out with other people, so she probably gets gellous.
Maybe if you let her know that she doesn't have to worry about you when you go out because your not looking for a nother girl, your just simply going out to hang with your friends.
Maybe she wont feel so threatned if you tell her that everything is going to be fine, and that you can trust me.
Hope my advice helps you a little.
sincerely...Samantha 20/F
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by allsmiles, An Engaged Girl, Female, 18-21, Detroit, Teaching

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Question is, do you ever hang out with her or her and her friends? If so, then she is insecure and wants to be what your world revolves around...if not, she may be thinking she isn't as important to you as your friends are...
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by faybenae, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Well...this depends on how much time you spend with your friends instead of spending time with her. If your friends get most of your attention, then she probably just misses you, and would like you to devote some of your time you spend with your friends to her. As long as your making an effort to see her, and your friends dont take up all of your free time, she shouldnt get MAD. I could see her getting a little upset, and craving attention from you. If you are spending a lot of time with her, and she just expects you to spend ALL of your time with her, she might be a little controlling...which is kinda normal for some girls after they've been in a relationship for awhile. But she should still be cool with you splitting your time to hang out with her and your friends. Just explain to her that you love spending time with her, and you also love hanging out with your friends...and you dont want to offend anyone by ditching them for the other or anything, and she should understand this. Especially if she has her own friends...I'm sure they want to hang out with her too sometimes. k...hope this helps :)
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by aimee73421, A Life of the Party, Female, 18-21, Indianapolis, Student

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She gets mad because she wants you to spend that time with her. If you aren't really spending (in your mind) an excessive amount of time with them versus the time you spend with her, why not try and bring her with you when you hang out with your friends? The other issue may come from some of the friends you hang out with being female- jealousy issues arise there.

Other than what I have already told you, I have two tips for dealing with ANY relationship problem-
1. Use the K-I-S-S method (Keep it simple, silly!)
2. Do not belittle her feelings and do NOT let her belittle yours.
--- Mr.NiceGuy113's Original Question ---
why does my girlfriend get so mad when i hang out with my firnds?

- Response by lilriley07, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Indianapolis, Financial / Banking

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