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Opinions on this please. is it better to be single and alone, than to be married and lonely?
Married Life / 5:57 PM - Monday January 04, 2010

opinions on this please. is it better to be single and alone, than to be married and lonely?


- Asked by divadancer2, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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I'd rather be single and alone, than married and lonely. Being alone and lonely are two different situations. At least, when you're single, you understand more why you are alone. But, to be lonely with a husband/wife, is really sad to me. You don't have to be up in each others faces all of the time.

But, you shouldn't feel like you're the only one interested in the marriage. If that's the case, why are you even married? You're really in no different of a situation than the single person. Only, you expect to be loved and have their attention. And, now you're stuck with a constant reminder when you see them everyday, just what you don't have. That would be torture! The single person doesn't have to see that unless they're out and seeing married couples everywhere. IJS



- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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single and alone. the other is far more heartbreaking.

- Response by regularchick, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Student

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like most people on here, i'd rather be single and alone, as previously stated, alone doesn't necessarily mean "lonely". :-)

- Response by dudemcguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Student

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Married is usually not lonely. Maybe you aren't doing it right.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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single and alone.

married and lonely is a recipe for disaster....

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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You really have to ask that?

Then you've never been married and more alone than you ever were when you were single have you?

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Married and lonely would be horrible. I'd rather be single and lonely.

- Response by ashmcawesome, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

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do not get married....wait....and wait some more and then think about marriage.....

unless you find mr. wonderful, perfect, soulmate material....then go for it.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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Yes, have been both places

- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Alone is not always lonely. I prefer my alone time, I love it, and I am not lonely. So single and alone, I guess.

- Response by evilella, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Self-Employed

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YES! "It is better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else." ~ "It is better to have loved and lost, than to live with a psycho the rest of your life." ~ "Marry the right person, this one desision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery." ~ "Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life."

All of these great quotes were written for a reason and I would love to know the stories behind them...

- Response by 1pghpafemale, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Definitely single and alone. At least then you can call someone up for an occasional romp when you need it. I found out the hard way that you actually have sex less when you're in a relationship.

- Response by newdad, A Jock, Male, 36-45, Las Vegas, Transportation

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I choose A, I would rather be alone (which by the way I was never lonely) but I was extremely lonely while I was with my ex-husband. It was torture. :O/

- Response by destinyseeker, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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being alone doesn't have to mean being miserable. Would I rather be married and miserable? no way. I rather be alone and happy.

- Response by girlpower08, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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not much of a choice is it d

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Definitely better to be single and alone.


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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My expression.

It is better to be lonely and alone then married and MISERABLE!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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Single and alone. Being with the wrong person can crush your spirt and break your heart. I think people end of with cancer because of stress.

- Response by carrie1anne1, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I was married & lonely especially the last few years we were together. I HATED IT!
I've been single & alone for 11+ years now & it is much easier to deal with. When I need companionship, I get it from my s/o, friends & family otherwise I enjoy my alone time. I'm RARELY lonely any more.

- Response by fbomb101, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Boston, Managerial

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I believe it's better to be single and keep your options open than to settle down with someone you're not compatible with or happy with.
Some people may call that "Choosey" and really it is. We all have the right to choose..no one can live your life for you and no one can tell you want you want the most besides yourself.
Single or not, enjoy life because it's the only one you've got. :)

- Response by jms504, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Philadelphia, Technical

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Single and alone. It's easier to be happy, and getting married is always easier than getting divorced.

- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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single and alone !

- Response by jadejeans03, Female, 46-55, Cincinnati, Self-Employed

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I rather be single and alone. At least be alone is a choice. Feeling lonely is not and it sucks!

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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I have not had a lot of experience with being single.But I would rather be single and alone than married and lonely.At least that way I would only have myself to blame.:)

- Response by roanna, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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Tough question, but basically, the answer is "Yes."

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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It's definitely better to be single and alone. At least you have options to find someone you like. When you're married, you are basically stuck with this person, unless you're the kind of person who is ok with extra-marital affairs (which don't solve the problem but complicate it).

- Response by experience101, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I am married and LONELY! and it HURTS!!!! Physically mentally emotionally spiritually etc....in all ways it hurts!!!!
MUCH would rather be alone and lonely!!!!! If I were alone...I would have control over my social life and I wouldn't allow myself to be lonely! My husband is a troll...and doesnt allow much of a social life! If I were alone I would be free to do things with friends.

- Response by ttlicious, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55

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single and alone. then u can find that person who will increase your happiness

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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Yes....it is.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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Yes, yes, yes!

- Response by socialbutterflye, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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to tell you the truth i wouldn't want to have to be single and alone or married and alone but i'm going throught the whole married and alone thing and it feels just like being single and alone but it hurts more. to know that your husband isn't happy with you and leave you at home alone all the time or even when he is home like in my case. my husband spends more time with his sister-in-law than he does with me. so you tell me which one should anyone pick

- Response by tiffanyjojohnson, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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I think it's better to be single and alone because I wouldn't be bringing another person into my 'misery' and I wouldn't be left feeling guilt for trying to 'force' happiness with someone whom I may not actually be 'happy' with...I would much rather only affect my own life and if I did find someone, I would hope that we would be together because we were happy and not because we felt 'obligated' to be together for the sake of no longer being single...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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" Married and bored, or Single and lonely ... ...

Ain't no Happiness nowhere ... ... "





- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35, Johannesburg, Internet / New Media

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Absolutely. If you are single and lonely, that's all you've got to worry about and you can correct it. If you are married and lonely, you are wondering why. Where is he, with whom and when will he be home? Will he be mean or just neglect me? what should I do, stay or leave? How will it affect my children? MUCH better to be single........

- Response by ninifrog, Female, 66 or older, Administrative

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Being single and alone can be changed in a matter of minutes. All you have to do is say "yes" to a date. Being married and lonely can end up in the divorce courts or the obituaries.

- Response by sinaman469, A Couch Potato, Male, 36-45, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Single and alone for sure .. When your alone dosnt mean
your lonely.

- Response by berri, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, New South Wales, Who Cares?

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I'd rather be single and alone. Married and lonely sounds like the worst of both worlds...

- Response by rokitman, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Absolutely! AMEN! I was married and 'mostly lonely and extremently miserable' for MOST of the 25 years that I was previously married.



- Response by jpm51, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Baltimore, Administrative

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Your question is very similar to the situation of being between a rock and a hard place. Neither situation is a better one. I've been in both situations and can NOT tell you one is better than the other.

- Response by royatlanta, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Single and alone.When single, you can banish the loneliness by getting a guy or by flirting with that guy across the room.When married, adultery seems to be the only option and that's a sure no-no.

- Response by listentome27, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Dallas

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