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My husband and I are separated and I still have feeling for him .
Married Life / 8:10 AM - Monday January 04, 2010

My husband and I are separated and I still have feeling for him .

And I still would like to work it out, however, he's fed up and he doesn't want to deal with me anymore - he won't even speak to me and he still has a ton of stuff at the house. What makes things worse is he's got a new girlfriend already - it's only been two weeks!!! I knew he was talking to another girl - this is what led to me telling him to leave.

I was talking to a friend of his the other day and he asked my husband well what happened why did you decide you wanted to ruin your marriage by talking to other girls and his response was - because it wasn't working out - WTF kind of response was that??? Like we were together for 9 years, lived together for 4 years and been married only a few months. (I never wanted to be a "wife" that why I refused to get married until just recently - he would have married me years ago). So, I kind of don't get the -it just wasn't working out- what wasn't working out??? And it pisses me off that he won't even speak to me about it and he tells everyone that I am refusing to let him get his stuff and I'm doing all this mean, bullshit things to him. Truth is I've texted him about 3 times in the past 2 weeks asking if he's coming to get his stuff and telling him how much I love him and that I want to try and save this marriage. And I get no response - as if I'm texting the air. So, his friend was like if he comes back in six months would you take him back? I thought long and hard and I said yes, I would - if he was willing to change for our marriage, no change or no growing up, then I know he's not serious about saving us.

I was wondering besides the -it just wasn't working out (what the hell does that mean -really?) -would I be a fool to try and work things out if he came around in 6 months or however long? How long is too long to be able to work things out? I know we're young (32) but I think he's going through a mid-life crisis. Or he's pissed that the money ran out - and I started telling him no he can't buy this or no he can't get that and no I'm not giving you money to go play poker with and then I put him on an allowance. So, I think he's pissed that I'm not giving him everything that he wants - which I use to spoil the piss out of him. He's a fool for walking away - things would have gotten better with time. Money's just tight now.

I never wanted to think that he was only with me for the money or for the things I use to do for him. But all signs point to it - like I made him get a job and I was making him pay bills and -huh- it was like I was taking his freedom away from, by taking his money away from him. I never thought he was so petty -funny thing is the money really ran out September 2008, it's just now it's really tight because of the winter.

- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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I am in a very similar position. My husband and i just separated Jan 08,10 and I love him but you know what...i think he was using me actually. He married me quickly....very quick... we got pregnant. Well, I got pregnant cause after i resigned from my job everything changed. He constantly insinuated that I was lazy and good for nothing. But that wasnt fair because while i was pregnant and "lazy" he was not paying bills AT ALL, we got evicted twice, water turned off, no heat. And his argument was that I contributed to us losing everything because i havent given him any money for bills. BTW he didnt pay our storage bill while living in extended stay so I lost everything. My husband is really what he tries to say I am. LAzy, sorry , and waiting on me to pay for everything like i did before i got pregnant and quit my job. Well im back home with my mother and my two sons and sort of missing my husband. I knew marriage wouldnt be perfect, hell i thought it would be extremely difficult but i didnt think my husband wasnt going to try and get a real job and stop working for himself. Mu husband was tired of paying bills. I had to make him pay, curse fight kick and scream. Well, sleeping at my moms has been the best sleep ive had in two years. Now to finding work and my own place.

- Response by swifnora, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Just reading what u wrote i wish i knew u so we could talk cause I'm going dealing with almost the same thing my husband and i have been together for three years yep i said three years we got married march 28,2009 and by the end of the year he was saying its not going to work without a reason why,we have our problems like all married couples do but they work it out not us well not him and hes a mama and nanas's boy.then he starter to tell me that his kids don't really care for me (why did he wait till we got married?not only did i get pregnant but i lose the baby and his family could't be happier,I love my husband so much and want nothing more then to be with him but he was not doing and of the thing he should have been doing as a man and a husband i was never first in his life it was the kids,his mother,his nana,sports, other people then me but he would say otherwise.i begged him to spend time with me talk to me and he laughted in my face,a few weeks later i find out he is talking to another women and that both say that they did not sleep together which i think is a lie.so today i get a text not even a call and he wants to have sex and i must admit that at first i said yes but then i thought about it,i'm just getting well i'm trying to get over the hurt and him coming over would just hurt me to see him leave,besides how do we go from being husband and wife to being sex buddies,

- Response by michellehook25, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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