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How late is too late to hang out?
Married Life / 11:11 AM - Wednesday December 30, 2009

How late is too late to hang out?

My husband came home last night at 2:30 in the morning saying he was catching up with old friends. He said he would be home by 11. Anyway, we stayed up arguing about it until 4 and now I am dead tired at work. I have a meeting today that I am regretting because I want to go home and go to sleep. My hubby doesn't see how things can effect you the next day. I just want him to respect the house. What time do your spouses stay out until?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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It wasn't his fault that YOU stayed up "arguing" until 4. Don't blame him for your poor behavior.

A good wife helps her husband have a good, rich, wonderful life. A good wife does not act like an angry shrew bitching him out for a couple hours with his mates. They draw cartoons about women who act like you did.

Its really not up to you to decide, set, and control a curfew for your husband. You didn't have to stay up past 11. Get a clue, woman. Stop trying to control and dominate your husband. Get on with being the kind of wife that a man would love to come home to. Your life will be so very much better if you act like a partner instead of an upset parent.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Uh he is your husband not your son, he can stay out however late he wants.

- Response by aaronit, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Science / Engineering

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You're never too old to hang out. With that said, why didn't he call you! You have the right to know where he is. Calling you is the respectful thing to do.

- Response by cosmicdog0, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Denver, Science / Engineering

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I am guessing you're angry that he didn't do what he said, which is come home by 11. (See how most of the Men didn't get that; they assumed you wanted to set a curfew). Would you be okay with this if he said he was coming home at 2:30?

I would not stress this unless something bigger is wrong such as he's had an affair before, does this all the time, etc. If he just went out and lost track of time then I'd let it go. Not worth the stress. Things happen.

I am generally home by 1a if I go out. My s/o isn't big on going out but if he does, he'll be home by 10:30 of his own accord. Lol

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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He should have respectfully called to let you know he would be later. I don't believe spouses should have curfews but should be considerate of you so you won't worry about him.

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Hmm... Usually only 11-11:30 unless it was already scoped to be a really late night. If it turns out that the night is going later than expected, then a courtesy phone call is customary to allay fears of automobile accidents, etc. It's just a question of good manners to let folks know when to expect you back. Good luck.

- Response by taichichuan, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Consulting

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Damn, there are some real asshole guys on here who answered! What they DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND is if they were responsible & ACTED LIKE A MAN, WE AS WOMEN WOULDN'T HAVE TO TREAT THEM LIKE CHILDREN!! I've had problems with my husband in the past & he'd have the nerve to tell me not to treat him like a little boy & like I'm his mother. Well, that's when I tell him to stop forcing me to treat him like a child! Act like the man he's supposed to be!

I think your husband was wrong in that he didn't do what he said, come home at 11. If he wasn't going to do it, then he shouldn't have said it. And he should've had enough love & respect for you to call & tell you that he was going to be later than expected.

My husband doesn't go out like that. We go to church and are so busy with work & school, that we don't have time to go out. If we do go out, it's together. We both agree that it's not right for the other to go out alone, like to clubs or anything. Those are the actions of someone who's single, and neither of us are single.

And to the jerk who said it wasn't your husband's fault that you were arguing until 4am, you're wrong! I'm sure she wasn't the only one sitting there arguing, and he was just sitting there saying NOTHING. Get a clue here. Her husband was wrong, plain & simple. He needs to be a man, accept responsibility & not put the blame on his wife.

- Response by Female, 36-45, Student

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Two things:
Your husband was wrong...he should have called if he was out past when he said he would be home.

Coming home in the am hours is disrespectful when you are married and have not told your spouse up front what was going on...if this was once in a blue moon drop it but if it is a recurring scenario you need to address it until you have an agreement on conduct that is respectful to your commitment of marriage.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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I am a workaholic and I get up very early, so I am in bed at 9:00 PM every night.

- Response by dambreaker, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Retired

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your hubby was not wrong in staying out until 2:30am, but he should have called you to let you know only because he said he would be home by 11pm.
But definately not worth figting over until 4am. Unless , of course, there is a trust issue somewhere....

- Response by youngfuddyduddy, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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Wow why hasnt he divorced you? My spouse can stay out however late she wishes, I am not her parent.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 22-25

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