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Best friend acting distant. I miss her, and want to talk to her, but its been soooo long & its weird
Friendship / 6:54 PM - Monday December 28, 2009

Best friend acting distant. I miss her, and want to talk to her, but its been soooo long & its weird

My best friend of 14 years has been acting distant since about April of this year. Over the years we've never forgot each others birthdays and have always called one another to say Happy Birthday, in the least. She never called me on my birthday which was in June. Her birthday was a couple of days ago, I sent her a 'Merry Christmas' text and a 'Happy Birthday' text on her birthday. I wanna pick up the phone and call her, but its been so long since we've talked, its now at that weird stage of what do i say? I am a bit hurt that she hasn't been including me in anything. For instance, Halloween night they had a party at her place, and i never got an invite. Not sure what to think or how to talk to her, especially since she knows that the pictures of the party are all over Facebook. Im just feeling really left out and like i lost a best friend. I want to send her an email, but i dont know where to start or what to say. How do i approach her to deal with this??

Update: March 16, 2010.
Update: Looks like my so called best friend of over 14 years got engaged this past Christmas and i found out about it just now looking at her Facebook pictures. Saw pictures of the engagement, ring, the whole shabang. ... Im quite hurt... What do i do????

- Asked by sadheart, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Vancouver, Consulting

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I would have to bite the bullet and just call her and tell her you know it is awkward because of the time frame but you miss her and would like to know what you might have done wrong that you have lost your close connection. There has to be some issue there somewhere. Couldn't let a friendship like that just die on its own. Good luck and please contact her because at least that way you have an answer either way. The unknown is the worst. Please let us know.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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You pick up the phone and call her....tell her that things are weird and you miss her and ask what happened to push us away from each other and then go from there with the conversation. Do not email her that just isn't cool for best friends.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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I would start by telling her you miss her friendship and the time you spent around each other. Then tell her you realize something must be bothering her and you would like to know what it is. That if you did something wrong you are sorry and would like to make it up to her, but you can't fix anything if you do not know what she is upset about.
Then deal with the answer.

- Response by wolverinesegg, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Call her and talk to her, tell her how you feel. Thats how friendships work, you have to put in effort and discuss feelings.



- Response by sunshine26, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles

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Call her and talk to her, tell her how you feel. Thats how friendships work, you have to put in effort and discuss feelings.



- Response by sunshine26, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles

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She seems to have forgot your birthday first, so normally I would say it is up to her to repair the friendship, but it seems she does not want to repair it. Since you do, you are going to have to call her, or it might be easier to get a straight answer by email--ask her why IF she wants to be friends and longer?, ask her what YOU did to cause this and ask tell her you miss her. I think you will have your answer when you get HER answer. Some people dump friends when they get a new job or a man....

- Response by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

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its ok cheer up every thing will turn out good... the point is what happen between you two? do you say anything mean about her if you do you need to apologizes anyway i think you should call her speak from the heart told her you miss her and need to talk to her and that everything isnt going on so well since the split and you need to know why she hasnt speak to you since then

- Response by kady, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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Sadheart,
There may be "things" goin on with her. Just say what's on your heart "WITH" her......

- Response by fotoman1133406, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Other Profession

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The best way to approach her is to call her up and ask can the 2 of u talk, face to face. if not face to face then ask her what has happened that changed your friendship, the longer u wait the more arkward it's goin to be. Let Her kno that U miss Her and the closeness that u once shared and ur trying to understand what happened to change it.

- Response by chinadoll517, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Why do you fell you need to approach her? You clearly are NOT her best friend anymore. Friends must choose to be friends - you cannot approach on on why she is distant - it is obviously HER choice. But do you really want to be hurt by the reason she might give you?? Can't you just live you life knowing that she is NOT your best friend?? Aren't you being too needy? I think so.

- Response by rastis, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Managerial

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