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Does he want to get me pregnant?
Sex & Intimacy / 6:54 AM - Wednesday December 23, 2009

Does he want to get me pregnant?

Well first off I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 27. I'm currently on birth control (Nuvaring) We've been seeing eachother exclusively for the past 6 months. During sex last week, he said, "How about we make this more exciting, and you take that ring out?" I said, "Why can you feel it, is it bothering you?" He said, " No, just because." I told him I don't think it's a good idea. So I'm curious what are his intentions here? Is he trying to knock me up on purpose? He already has 1 kid who is 3, with another woman obviously. And I know clearly well he wants more. But I really don't think him or I is in any position to have a child finanically at the moment. I really do love him and care about him deeply, I'm just not ready for something along those lines quite yet. So do you think he's just talking shit out of pure stupidity and passion, or he actually wants to have another child with me? He's also legally married to this lady, who he has not been with in 2 years. She lives half way across the country from him and only goes there to visit his daughter every few months. He can't afford a divorce. The whole legally married thing, sorta bothers me even though I know it's just paper and they have no sexual relations.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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I think he was just talking fancifully. He may have been suggesting that he'd love to have a child with you, but you sound like a well grounded, practical woman. And BTW, does the ring have any effect at all on how you experience sex? Perhaps he feels that the ring prevents you from really being available for him. But what is really hindering him is his wife, in absentia though she may be. Keep the ring in.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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I think I'd tell him that the nuvaring was going to stay put, until he got his affairs in order (divorce), and put a wedding ring on my finger.

Seriously, a child is a huge responsibilty. Don't let him play baby roulette, to make sex "more interesting".

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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Even if he wanted you to have his baby this should be discused outside of the bedroom and not during the heat of passion. His actions shows me that he is irresponsible, selfish and not thinking of you and/or the consequences of such things.

I'm glad you have a good head on your shoulders and didn't give in to his request. Again, I think a commitment needs to be discussed beforehand, as well this should be a mutual decision. Having a baby shouldn't be a crap shoot or taken so lightly.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Tread carefully, as yes, I think he does want you to get pregnant. Without knowing him I can't tell whether thats a desire to settle down (with you) and have a family, or whether he just has an urge to spread his seed and procreate some more, but as he doesn't seem to have taken his commitments too seriously so far, I have a nasty feeling it may be the latter.

- Response by loulou444, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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This guy is bad news. He needs to get a divorce. He needs to be responsible about birth control. Who makes major life-changing decisions like that in the heat of the moment without any prior discussion? That's insanely immature.

- Response by sweetiebug01, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Keep the ring in. Newsflash..He can afford a divorce if he wants one. Neither of you are ready for a child and a paper is a legal document. You are dating a married man and it isn't the time to bring children into your relationship. He doesn't sound like a good choice to me. Tell him to step up to the plate and get a divorce. Do you really want a Dad for your child who sees his child every few months? He is a dog. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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he can't afford a divorce, but he can book a flight every few months to visit his daughter.. yeah right!!!! he could get a cheap divorce if he wanted to, the problem is he doesn't want to.. i mean come still married and not with that person, what's he think it's cheaper to keep her.. as long as he has a mrs and he visits a few times a months, your always gone to be the other woman any way you look at it.. don't degrade yourself.. i think there is more to the story.. keep your eyes open.. is he a american ??? maybe he thinks getting you pregnant some how some way can get him citizenship, and when that happens he can bring wifey over.. seriously i work with men that go home to their country every few months because they are here on work visa's.. . hey i could be wrong.. but with your post something isn't sitting right with me.. .

- Response by mburgos, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Who Cares?

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