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Why do guys say they love you but treat you like shit?
Dating / 3:44 PM - Tuesday December 22, 2009

Why do guys say they love you but treat you like shit?

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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They haven't finished their sentence, they meant " I love your ass" and that's all I want from you.

Go figure!!

Men's action always speak louder than their words babe. You saw all the signs but you still wonder and that will lead you to a broken heart with bad treatments from him


- Response by azianchemistry, A Player, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Because they lie.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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Don't let a few "Bad Apples" spoil the whole "Bunch".

- Response by brezzyblue, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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Because they're shitty guys

- Response by sunshine26, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles

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Because they in reality don't love you!

It is called LYING!

Would you teat somebody or someTHING for that matter like shit that you love? well you deserve no less.

Let's see some expressions come to mind.

"The proof is in the pudding"!

"Actions speak louder than words"!

Oh, there is a couple more, I just know it.

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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Actions speak louder than words. If a guy is mistreating you, he doesn't love you. Sometimes guys will say I Love You to get you in the mood for sex.

- Response by jennyclover21, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Because dominating you, and having you put up with it, has come to have some sort of deep heavy symbolic significance, such that it would be they are both manly and lovable.
But that is their business, not yours, and you are asking the wrong question. The question is why you are attracted to guys who treat you like shit. And when you are going to stop, or at least force yourself to act like you have stopped. It will not get better until then. Look to what you can control, your own behavior, not to what you cannot control. There will always be guys like that in the world, and girls who choose to get involved with them. The only question is whether you are going to be a spectator in this syndrome or a participant.

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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As human beings we hurt one another all the time, intentionally or not. Throughout our adult lives and in our romantic relationships, we all get our hearts broken eventually.



- Response by sugarlump, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Honey thats a question we all wish we had the answer too!!
They either dont truly know what the word means or they are just plane old ass holes!!!

- Response by ZeferinosSweetyheart, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Dallas, Fitness

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Thats an easy one: So that they can continue to treat you like shit.
Action usually speaks louder than words.

- Response by klaxometro, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Because they don't actually love you!
Because women have shown by going out and STAYING with men like that time and time and time again that THIS is how you WANT to be treated regardless of what you SAY.
Because you women don't know what love actually IS and hate to be with good, nice men that say they love you because you only view relationships as a game for fun, so you want the bad boy that abuses you since it's more "FUN" than the nice guy that treats you good but is not exciting enough and rates low on your "FUN METER"!!!

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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is there any guy in particular... and if so.. how does he treat you like shit?

- Response by lollypie, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, London

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Because they are lying! Actions speak louder than words!

- Response by experience101, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Because you let them. Raise your standards.

- Response by 66crab, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Why do women say they want a good man who loves them then date the ones who treat them like shit?

- Response by dogbert, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Las Vegas, Managerial

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We're weary of trying to be changed.

- Response by mirage338, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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Because you let them.

- Response by king313, An Engaged Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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Because you let them treat you like shit.

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Because, some women don't know how to compare words and actions. They want someone so bad they choose to believe a lie about the type of person he is. They already know when a man isn't shit. But, they keep telling themselves they are good people. Because, they want them. Some allow those type of men to treat them like shit, so they keep doing it. Lastly, those guys are simply lying their asses off to.......well, get some ass!

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Maybe because they sometimes say it when they feel put on the spot or because they are in the throes of passion or because it's what they feel and when/if they treat you like shit, it could be because they 'forgot' that they said they loved you...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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(1) he doesn't truly love you and is only saying what he thinks you want to hear,
(2) he does care but isn't aware of how his actions are affecting you (and may just be a selfish person by nature), or
(3) He's pushed his boundaries with you, realized that you will put up with his shit, and has decided that he can continue to acts as he pleases without any consequences

Either way, if you want to improve the quality of your relationship, you need to openly communicate your concerns in a non-threatening way (in order to not put him on the defensive) and tell him how his actions make you feel. If he truly loves you, perhaps this will be an "eye-opening" experience and he'll try to change his behavior.

- Response by rasysa, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles

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Well all depends on what he does to treat you like shit.

there are meany diffrent reasons why.

so explain more please.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Miami, Who Cares?

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He treats you how he treats himself...

- Response by adamh1279, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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Because you ALLOW them to. You teach people how to treat you.

If you keep falling for the same lame ass line, over and over, then don't expect anything different.

You need to figure out why you are so attracted to assholes who treat you like shit. Then quit DATING those assholes.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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You are accepting this treatment..A man doesn't love you that treats you this way. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Because these types of guys know that women turn stupid when they hear the words "I love you" and so that type of guy will use the words to get what he wants. Some women are too goofy to know you should look at what a man DOES vs. what a man SAYS to know what he is truly feeling. But they focus on the worlds and base their entire lives on one sentence.

No matter if a guy says he loves you or never says a word, the bottom line is if he is treating you like shit and you stay with him, it means YOU ARE A FOOL.

- Response by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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