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My boyfriend says he loves me and wants to marry me but hes a selfish baby should i leave him
Dating / 6:23 PM - Thursday December 17, 2009

my boyfriend says he loves me and wants to marry me but hes a selfish baby should i leave him

i wanna know if he can change he says he will but then he goes right back to being mean and calling me names constantly cussing me when things dont go his way it hurts alot but he begs me not to leave!

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Men don't change. The idea that "My love will change him" is one of the more damaging delusions that women have. It is the way of pain. What you see is what you (continue to) get. Sorry. Better to learn it now than 5 years and 2 kids later ...

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Community Rating: Community Star

Oh I get it!!

You're waiting for him to HIT YOU before you'll leave and stay gone!

All righty then....

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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DO NOT expect a man to change. If he's not what you want, then you want someone else.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Ok im not saying its gong to be easy but u sooo dont need to marry a guy that calls you names ans hurts you like that. If he does it to you now then its only going ti get worse wen yall get married. If you kep going with a person like that pretty soon you will have no self asteam and think you deserve to be talked to like that and no one deserves that.
Think about this..... If yall get married yall could end up having kids, Would you allow hm to talk to them that way? Bc BELIEVE me he would!!!

- Response by ZeferinosSweetyheart, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Dallas, Fitness

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Actions speak louder than words. He can make all the promises he wants, but it's what he does that tells you who he is.
Every relationship goes through rough patches. If both parties work together, you can get through them. But both parties have to work at it.
People make mistakes. But if someone has made of pattern of hurting you, it's time to think about whether this relationship is healthy. No one has the right to cuss at you. No one has the right to call you names. No one has the right to make hurting you a habit.
You deserve better. If he wants you not leave, he needs to treat you better. Period. Begging is just a bunch of words that mean nothing.
I know you have feelings for him, obviously. Your heart is tied into this. But a relationship should make you feel good about yourself. It should make you happy, bring you peace and make you feel content.
Does this one? Is this just a rough patch, or is it a pattern of behavior? What has he done to repair this relationship, other just a bunch of talk?
Answer these questions and you'll find the answer to yours.
Best of luck.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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He won't change for you. People only change if they want to-not if someone else wants them to.

I would leave.

- Response by exsstudent, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Student

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even though you love him he is never going to change
maybe for a week or two but you know better than anybody he is a jerk
mama you can do so much better for yourself
you should leave him before you end im accedently having kids with him

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 22-25, Home Maker

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Behavior may change, but character rarely does.

- Response by dogbert, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Las Vegas, Managerial

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