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So how long do you date someone before becoming exclusive?
Dating / 1:01 PM - Monday December 14, 2009

So how long do you date someone before becoming exclusive?

My girlfriend has been dating this guy for about a month and a half now, and they are exclusively seeing each other. The only thing missing is 'the talk' to make it official. She's getting annoyed now though because he hasn't initiated 'that talk' to make if official. I think she should give it until atleast after the holidays so it's not rushed. So now I just want some opinions:

How long on average do you wait to make it official?

Do you need to have 'the talk' to make it official?

Update: December 14, 2009.
So I've been reading all the responses, and I agree with the people who say there really isn't need for a formal 'talk,' which is my personal stance, BUT this brings another question to mind. If you don't have the formal talk to make if official bf/gf, then, what constitutes cheating? Is it possible for one person to think something is more solid than another? For example, say 2 people were dating for 3 months, and they were only seeing each other. They haven't had the 'talk', but its pretty much a sealed deal, or atleast one of them thinks so. Then word gets back to one of them that the other has a one night stand or went on a date. How would you approach it if there was no official agreement of exclusivity?

- Asked by sunkissedwhit1987, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Celebrity

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I think " the talk" is what people should relax on . A month is not a long time and people should let things progress naturally. If they are exclusively seeing each other then let things progress naturally. The Christmas season is a romantic season and chances are romance will flourish. Give the man a chance. rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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It's been a while but I'm trying to remember lol...

I am prettu sure I knew I only wanted to date my husband about a month into our dating relationship. Good thing he felt the same way :)

- Response by kaffroake, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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I haven't had "the talk" since Gr.12 where my high school boyfriend asked my Dad permission to date me. Since then I have realized that relationships will flow at their natural pace and as they get more serious both parties will naturally start calling one another boyfriend and girlfriend. My last serious relationship wasn't really "official" until 4 or 5 month into the relationship. It didn't have to be. We decided to be exclusive pretty early on as then just let the rest progress.

I have been seeing a new guy for a few months and I am in no rush to stick a label on it. I think if one party feels pressure to put a label on it it can cause a lot of unneeded issues way too early on. You should be secure enough with the person that you don't NEED a label.

- Response by sarahsoda17, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Student

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I don't usually wait that long. If I want something/someone, I go for it.

- Response by fortminor123, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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Why is she getting annoyed with him because he hasn't initiated "the talk"? She could just as easily initiate it if its something on her mind, couldn't she?

As for time... If you are looking to be in a relationship, I'd say after a month or so you should have an idea whether you want to make the relationship exclusive or not.

As for necessity... I think its a good idea to bring it up if its something on your mind. For all you know, the other person considers what you have a fling and doesn't want more. You aren't going to know this unless you actually talk about it.

- Response by 20something, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Consulting

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You become exclusive when you are engaged or live together.....according to Men's Health.

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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The guy I am with has indicated he doesn't intend to date other women and would rather I wasn't dating others as well - so we don't; however, we haven't had any official talk yet. His friends all know we're together, my friends know we're together, people refer to us as a couple . . . in my last relationship, it evolved similarly and then one day he introduced me to someone as his girlfriend - no "talk" needed. I don't think a guy has had "the talk" with me since shortly after I graduated high school.

- Response by kuriouskats, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Seattle, Technical

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No, there is no need to have the talk. At some point a relationships gets intense enought that it should not be necessary. I mean if you are sleeping over their house 4 nights a week and see each other on the other two anyway then need of "the talk" should be obvious. If it isn't obvious then the person it is not obvious to is a real prick/b*tch.

I know we like to put definitions or levels to a relationship that make us feel more secure but honestly, some "talk" or agreement is not going to stop someone from looking for others to date or to cheat. All it does is give us more or less ammunition during the argument where we find they are dating someone else. Does having more or less ammunition make us feel better when our hearts just got crushed, I really don't think so.

- Response by 7zebras, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Financial / Banking

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