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Active Questions

Were your parents married when they had you? or are you a illegitimate child?
Family & Parenting / 1:03 PM - Sunday December 13, 2009

were your parents married when they had you? or are you a illegitimate child?

do you think it matters?

Update: December 13, 2009.
many of you said you didn't like the term "illigitament" neither do i. im a bastard baby as some would say and i dont think it matters at all. i hate how yout judged because your parents weren't married, what the big deal? 60% of marriages dont work out any ways whys it ok to have a baby when your married then get divorced, why get married in the first place.

- Asked by sydney2011, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 22-25

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illegitimate or not all that matters is that your parents love you.

- Response by tleeb, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Dallas, Other Profession

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No, they weren't. And no, it doesn't matter.

There's no such thing as an "illegitimate" child. Regardless of our parents' marital status. I really dislike that term.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Yes they were, it wouldn't have mattered at all if they weren't to me but back in those days it would have been a disgrace for a woman to have a child out of wedlock.

- Response by trhjr1, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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Yes they were married. 5 years before having the first of 4, i was the 3rd born. I dont think it matters. I dont want to get married, but i want kids.

- Response by Morgiee4, A Married Girl, Female, 22-25, Home Maker

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I was adopted, so no they weren't married.

It can matter to the child, as this is rejection at a very early stage.

Didn't effect me much, but had significant negative effects on my brother.


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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Yes, I was, and I'm with piscesrising on this one - there is no such thing as an illigitimate child. All children are legitimate.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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They had been married for over 2 years.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Yes and yes..I do think it matters

I was the 3rd child and the baby of the family and they were married about 12 years when I was born.

They were happily married for almost 61 years when my Dad passed away.

- Response by scooper, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Who Cares?

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I'm a prom night baby lol. My dad had already graduated. It was my mom's prom. I don't think it matters. I have great parents and an awesome stepmom too. I get to have even more family than some b/c I also have my stepmom's family and they are the best!

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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Nope my folks weren't married when they had me. They were still friends and my dad willingly paid child support. And they later got married when I was 7. So rather I was born out of wedlock or not, I have always had my father in my life and had my financial needs taken care of growing up.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

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No, they were not married at the time they had me and my brother. But they later got married and had three more children. They are still married. It doesn't matter to me and the terms "illegitimate" and "bastard" are stupid.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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My parents had been married a little over two years when I was born. Yes, my father was my biological parent, however; he beat me, used to verbally abuse me, etc. One morning I ate a bowl of cereal, after eating I rinsed the bowl and left it in the sink. I saw no need to fill a sink up with water just to wash one bowl. I went back to my bedroom and he followed me into my bedroom and threw the bowl on my bed. Why he did this I'll never know. There was other crap but I don't want to make my reply too long.

I would have prefered not to have a father at all than have the one I had. In my situation, I think I would have been better off if I had been an illegitimate child. Or better yet been adopted by people who knew how to raise me.

I don't like the term illegitimate or bastard. Anyone who will judge you negatively because of what your parents did or did not do is ignorant. You had no control over the situation. Don't let these ignorant people get the better of you.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Yes mine were married.. to each other! lol. I see quite a few in here have no problem with kids born out of wedlock.. jeezz..

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Other Profession

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totally illegitimate...Met my real mom a couple of years ago...What a mistake.

- Response by yenkoman, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Oklahoma City, Political / Government

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My parents lived together. First they had my sister, then they had me, then they got married and had my brother. So there are three of us--born to the same parents, but two of us before they were officially married. The youngest of us is 40, and my parents are still married. We were all raised in a loving home, always with both parents present. I have a bias for both parents raising children together. It makes very little difference to me whether the parents are married, but I do believe that children benefit from having two loving parents who are available to them in the setting of a loving home. I realize that there are many definitions of family now, but this is my preference.

- Response by evadim, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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My parents were married when they had me. Whether it matters or not... I think most of our opinions are shaped/formed from the situations we were born in. Either way it goes, whether your parents were married when they had you or you were born out of wedlock, none of us are here by accident; *that* is what really matters! The life you live and the mark you leave on this world makes up for *how* you got here, right?

- Response by Veronica71276, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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And it really dosen't matter.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Hmmm Good question. In the course of my life, many people have assertively stated, in the form of an epithet, that my parents were indeed not married when I was born. Well they had been married at least 1 year.

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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The problem with the term "illegitimate child" is that is makes the CHILD look bad.

The CHILD did nothing wrong. The PARENTS were irresponsible. I don't think a child should ever be labeled.

But studies have proven it ABSOLUTELY does matter if your parents are married. Kids born out of wedlock are more likely to be criminals, use drugs and less likely to graduate and have successful relationships. The epidemic of children born out of wedlock is destroying out country.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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