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What does my bf mean he has to get himself together as a man before asking me to marry him?
Dating / 9:08 AM - Saturday December 12, 2009

What does my bf mean he has to get himself together as a man before asking me to marry him?

My bf stated to me that he this whole "relationship" thing is new to him he said that in the past he was use to dating a female and the female just having the title of being his girlfriend and him just having sex with her. He said that him and I being together in a relationship is a new experience for him and he is really trying and feels that he is doing a good job at it because he wants nothing but good things for he and I. He asked that I bare with him as well and do understand that this is a new experience for him. But he also stated that he has to totally get himself together as a man before he can ask me to marry him but he's been talking to his best friend a lot about wanting to marry me.

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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because they are scared to let thier gUARD DOWN..AND SCARED OF REJECTION

- Response by inluvwithaclown, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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As much as your getting scary answers here (read them) this is not one. First of all, hes talking to his best friend about marring you *BONUS!*
Secondly Some women are bitches, and do-do exactly as he says, Point and fact. MY HUBBY! He was used and abused by women for only sex, and was constantly bitched at, kept tabs on etc *So he tells me* That has gotta mess a guy up, so I can see him being a little. Ummmmmmm... about the whole situation cause you sound like a cool girl.
Finally, Tell him what your thinking, make a causal yet serious discussion of it, tell him how you feel. Hell worked for me. Good luck girly, I hope it all works out. Sounds like your man just needs a supportive shoulder.

- Response by krystalssissy, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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It sounds like he's working up to it. Don't worry.

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Read the Steve Harvey book Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man. This would answer your question.

- Response by sweety2087, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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it means he needs to get his shit together so he can be a good husband for u.

- Response by elaine8029, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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it's just an excuse..because if that was the case he would not be with u period unti he got himself together...

- Response by inluvwithaclown, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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sounds like he's just stalling. cause a REAL man is all ready together, and doesn't need to give that lame excuse.

so, most likely, he's saying he's still cheating on you and doesn't want to get locked into a monagamous relationship right now.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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A) sportsnut that was hilarious.

B) I havent dated for 5.5 years. You know why? Because I know that I'm not marriage material. So why waste a ladies time?

C) You need to evaluate whether or not he can make it to his ideal position in life (for marriage). If you deem that he cant, in a reasonable window for you, then move on. I'm serious.

- Response by drallig9399, A Hip Hop Guy, Male, 29-35, Dallas, Military

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May mean he's only in his 20's - as are you - and likely not quite ready for marriage. Bravo to him for recognizing!

- Response by 66crab, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Wow this is a good thing because most guys wouldn't say this unless they are really interested in making you their wife. I'm guessing he is just trying to get use to this whole relationship thing and wants to make sure that he doesn't short change you, he wants to make sure that he got his whole equation down to the T before he ask for your hand in marriage. Count yourself lucky because he told you before hand instead of making you guess and go crazy. Just bare with him, just like a baby, they have to crawl before they walk, so just be patient, all good things come to those who wait!!

- Response by ginger1985, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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