Back to Home

Active Questions

What makes a man want to marry one woman and not another?
Dating / 5:33 PM - Friday December 11, 2009

What makes a man want to marry one woman and not another?

I know men who've been in relationships for years without ever considering marriage and BAM, as soon as that relationship ends, they find someone else and marry her a month later. Can you elaborate?

- Asked by Female, 29-35

Read more about the Rating System


I'm sure every situation is different to some extent. But I hear about this frequently.

A guy is with a woman for a lot of the right reasons, but maybe they don't get along well,or something just doesn't seem right in the relationship. One or the other or both hesitate to marry, or when one wants marriage the other doesn't.

The guy finds someone else where it just seems right to him, and/or the timing is just right.

It doesn't make one person better or more desirable; it is just more right for the man, or the timing is just right.

- Response by lasuz, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Administrative

Rating Received:


In my experience, it doesn't necessarily mean that the one that got married is better. On the contrary, the guy finally grows up at some point and decides to settle down. A guy friend I had recognized that his current girlfriend, his fiancee was less "good" than the previous girlfriend he had left and he decided to stop looking and take what he had before the next one would get worse.

I'm not saying this is what always happens. But it's a possibility that every girlfriend is a step toward overcoming the commitment issue.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Because people waste years dating people they are not compatible.

Pick up the book "Finding The Love Of Your Life," by Dr. Neil Clark Warren for more information on this topic.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

Rating Received:


If he married her a MONTH later?

He was DATING HER the whole time he was with you.

Fine, don't believe me then. But that don't make it not true.

If a man marries the woman he left you for?

he was cheating on you with that woman for a WHILE.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

Rating Received:


Perhps the woman he married treated him better than the woman he didn't marry! You have no way of knowing whether or not he was considering marriage with the first woman. We know he considered maerriage with the second because he followed through with the ceremony of marriage.

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Looks has nothing to do with it, but one thing a man hates is a women that NAGS him. Perhaps they meet a women that doesn't treat them like Kate Gosslin did to her husband. Finding this women is like an instant revelation to them and want to keep her.

- Response by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Oh, I hear you. Usually, it's because they have a big wake up call when the previous relationship ends. Sometimes, they want to make up for all the things they did wrong before in the previous relationship and really go out of their way in the next. They realize they screwed up. Sometimes though, it works out sometimes not. It's a different person. I know thats why it's important to sometimes try to work through issues, you don't want to give up. But, sometimes it just does'nt work and you both move on. You learn different lessons and don't want to screw up and repeat them again. This goes for girls as well as guys.

- Response by carrie1anne1, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


1. Not in the right place of his life, i.e. wanting a higher paid job, new house, etc. before getting married.

2. He isn't dating the right person. Sure the chick he is currently dating could be fun, out-going and someone that everyone likes, but is truly not a good match for him in regards to where their values match up.

3. The current chick could also not be someone that is encouraging and supportive of what he wants to accomplish. I mean for most guys they may not know what they want to do or if they do it is not encouraged or supported by their gf and so the guy doesn't put any effort into it and winds up staying in one idle stage of his life where he isn't accomplishing anything.

4. He could also be with someone that doesn't really need him for anything other than a physically intimate relationship, but persists on always being dependent and can't be vulnerable with him at all. So to some extent he is unsure of what he can provide for her in the marriage other than sex. So could also make him feel a bit insecure too.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

Rating Received: