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Is it ever okay for a lady to pursue a man?
Dating / 12:17 AM - Sunday December 06, 2009

Is it ever okay for a lady to pursue a man?

So, when you are past the part of exchanging numbers when the woman asks to, since she is the one initially interested, is the man supposed to pursue her afterwards? This only applies if he is actually interested, if not, then I'll immediately let it go.

I like this guy, but I don't want to look desperate, as I have never actually pursued a guy before. Every guy that I have dated approached me first and I chose to date them in the end.


- Asked by anonymousjane, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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You need to stay true to your roots. Don't EVER chase men. Women who chase men look needy and desperate. You're the woman and you make the choice. That's the way it really works and any woman who thinks otherwise is a fool.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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You may not like my response, but I would say, do not pursue nor give any signs of desperation to any guy. You are worth the chase, you are jewel with potential, don't lower your standards. Do what you have been doing right all along.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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Now you get to know how men feel.Get your courage and ask.You have little to loose.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Once the man has your number and clearly knows your interest, the rest is up TO HIM.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Technical

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It doesnt matter either way. Its ok for you to go up and just talk and hang out without him persuing first. That way you can get ot know his female side a little better.lol

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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That depends. Do you mean romantically, or with a butcher knife.

Romantically? There's nothing wrong with making it known that you like someone, as long as that person is currently available.

Butcher knife? Big, bad, Bozo no-no.

- Response by bookman, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Women asking or pursuing looks no more desperate to guys than, guys asking/pursuing women. It is just something women tell each other so they don't have to risk rejection like guys do.

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Washington, DC, Technical

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I've never had luck with this. The couple times I liked a guy and pursued him, the relationship was never that great. When the guy has pursued me and I have then been in a relationship with him, it was much better. It's not that it isn't ok to pursue a man, it is just my experience that even though men say it is fine, if a guy really likes you, he will pursue you.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Seattle, Technical

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My lady I see nothing wrong for a girl or woman to chase a man, some women just knows what they want and knows how to go get it and whats wrong with that I like awoman who agresses me, it just shows me how bad she wants me, My wife was the chaser for me and I loved it as well as my childhood sweetheart that told me I never had a chance she was into me bad but her mom had a thing for me also and stopped our engagement by moving her so far away that I never seen her again until last year(over 30 yrs apart)

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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It never be okay for women to chase a man doesn't matter 21 century or once upon a time. It's not about playing games but you want to make sure that he *wants* you as much you want him and it's only showing by his persistence pursuing. That's where you will have a long term relationship based on physical and emotional/mentally attraction.

Some other will say you loss a shot if you don't take or you got nothing to lose by ask a man out but I can tell you that you will lose at the end when he realizes he never wanted you to begin with, it was just flattery/ego boost.

If you let him come to you you let him be a man and that makes him feel good and men often want to be with a woman who makes them feel good

Peace



- Response by azianchemistry, A Player, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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This is the 21st century, not the stone age. Chase away.

- Response by wpmc, A Creative, Male, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Absolutely.Remember the Feminist Movement?If a guy can ask a girl out then it works the other way round as well.And i think it's time we gave those guys a break.They have to rack up the nerve to ask us out and they also have to propose.It's time we did things a little differently so more power to you.

- Response by listentome27, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Dallas

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Of course...just do it. But don't pursue too hard...it is bad form in either direction. Let your affections be made known...if rebuffed, move on.

- Response by skibum58, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, New York, Teaching

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As crazy as it may sound i'm goin thru tha same thing.. but idk you just have to chose if they're worth it or not..

- Response by misshicks, A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, Retail

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crazy thing i'm goin thru tha same thing.. but idk u just have to decide if they're worth it.. Ya kno!

- Response by misshicks, A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, Retail

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NO. Never chase a man. It's in their DNA to chase and pursue a woman. When I was young I thought it was cool to go after a guy I wanted and it backfired each and every time, so I learned my lesson. Men are biologically programmed to pursue. that doesn't mean you can't show interest, but you should never outright ask a guy out or chase a guy. a girl just looks desperate for some reason but a guy chasing a girl is flattering and acceptable. I know it's weird but that's how it goes. next time if you like a guy, find a way to let him know you like him but let him do the asking.

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Don't pursue. You, like all women, deserve to be chased and to know the man wants you!

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25

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