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Active Questions

About a 46 year old dating a 19 year old
Dating / 9:48 AM - Wednesday November 25, 2009

about a 46 year old dating a 19 year old

i feel that i am a soul mate with a very mature 19 year old. however, i am 46 years old which is a 27 year age difference. he seems more like a 30 yr old than 19. what do i do.

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Indianapolis

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Grow up.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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Community Rating: Community Star

lucky DOGGG!!

- Response by enduro, A Hip Hop Guy, Male, 66 or older

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Carry on and keep your soul happy :) age is nothing but just numbers

- Response by orgasmic007, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, New Delhi

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Screw his brains out for a while, but don't get too involved. Even if he is mature now, he will change in the next 10 years and you'll be going through menopause while he is in his prime.
Right now he's dating an older woman, in 15 years he'd be involved with an old woman.

- Response by poolfish2, A Career Man, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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Do you really think a 19yr old would want to be with you for the rest of your life? If he does, rest assured he has some major Mommy issues or want to be taken care of by someone until he finds someone else.

I have a 19yr old Daughter and I'd be LIVID if some 46yr old guy came preying after her talking about being a soul mate.

Let him live his life.

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I know some people say age doesn't matter, but I disagree. Look back on your own life and look at the changes over the years. At 19 you wanted one thing, then at 25 perhaps another, then at 30 started feeling wise and mature finally. He might want kids one day, can you do that for him? What do you have in common? I am not saying it hasn't worked, because it has for some, but overall I don't think so. Just my opinion.

- Response by lk2mvit, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Keep dreaming lady.

- Response by augustbaby82, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, New York, Financial / Banking

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The first thing you should think about, which always scared the hell out of me, myself being married to a lady 23 years younger, is what happens down the road. I have seen some stunningly beautifil women your age and you must be one of them if a 19 year old is attracted to you. What if you two were to get marrisd. What abouy when you are 66 and he is 39? At 39 he could be with a 25 year old. How secure would you be knowing he could be attracted to a wonan 41 years younger than you? BTW, my marrsge to the lady 23 years younger than me only lasted 5 years.

- Response by leepool33, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Detroit, Retired

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there is nothing at all gained by denying yourself your pleasure, and his. consenting adults is all that a relationship like this requires. do not disturb your equilibrium with 'non-issues' like age.

- Response by two469, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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Two things:
1) It's your bag. If you two are happy, so am I.
2) Be prepared for some tension between you two because you are in different places in your lives. 19 is just starting out, 46 is usually ready to settle in (nothing personal, I'm talking generally). That's why these relationships are so hard to make work. But if you can, more power to you.
Best of luck.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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He isn't your soul mate. There really is no such thing as a soul mate according to research on human attraction. What you are doing is picking someone you can control, dominate and exploit because of the obvious differentials in power and control that has to do with your status in life. What you are doing will be harmful to him and his continued progress through life. You will in essence be distorting him for your own gain.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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get your cougar on sweetheart!!!

- Response by guy5432, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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enjoy it while you can dear

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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don't look too much into it; just have fun and ride the wave for while it lasts

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Just grease your ass and let him in.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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I really do not know what to say to your post. I usually don't have problems with ages gaps too much in relationships. But this is like a bit much I think. Cause my mind is curious as to what ways a 19 year old can act like he is 30 unless he has kids, drinks, smokes, holds down a very important job high up in a company some place or whatever. It just doesn't seem very logical to me. And I really hate to say this, but if you think this 19 year old is your soul mate, I think you might want to re-consider that. Cause really what if he wants kids one day? What if he suddenly wants to pick up and move somewhere else or do a lot of travelling and you don't because you are happy where you live. I mean there just could be so many what ifs and changes that can easily knock this relationship for a loop and not make you all that happy as you think you are. So just something to consider.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

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Although it's great that you found someone you feel you have a real connection with, just be aware of the fact that he may find someone younger as you get older...but if you want to have some fun now, go for it and enjoy...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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I would not approve of that in a man, and I'm not going to approve of that in a woman. I recommend that, as a woman, you restrict your age range to eight years younger to five years older (men should, conversely, stick to five years younger to eight years older).

Why should women be, all told, older then their men? Because women live longer than men. But we only live about five years longer than men, not 20 some-odd years longer.

As for maturity, give us a break. Nineteen year olds do not have the frontal lobe development of 30 year olds. Neither 19 year old girls or boys do, so I would say the same thing to a 46 years old man who prattled on about how "mature" his 19 year old chicky-bimba is (although, it has to be said, old fart men who have the hots for chicky-bimbas don't concern themselves about the "maturity" of said chicky-bimba nearly as much as old fart women do to justify their passion for the hawt, young flesh).

- Response by pandorasfault, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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Let me say at 91, life is damned short, make every post a winner, enjoy every moment but be prepared dor some sadness when he leaves you which he will, Enjoy every moment, every hug. A lot of folk are envious of you, Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

Rating Received: kitty kitty.......

Gee....I wonder how mature a 19 year old can be, without only seeing the world but 19 years? Ponder that. Take your time.....

You may wish he was 30.....but sorry sister, he's still but a baby.....and you're robbing the craddle!!!

- Response by richard77, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?

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does he have a job?

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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At 46, I dated a young woman who was 22. She was mature; she seemed older than her actual years, but most of all she was HOT. I am sure this is the case for you, so I won't judge. But, I did not fool myself into thinking that she was my "soul mate". I did get asked if she was my daughter on more than one occasion, and I did feel uncomfortable around my friends and family--yes, including my children, who were 17 and 21. I just kept thinking that this was unfair to her--I did not want more children--, and I couldn't help thinking about her being 40, and me 64, etc., etc. We broke it off gradually, and she moved away. I believe we are both happier.

- Response by evadim, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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Hello, Sister. So you, also, like younger men. There are many advantages. When you look young and lovely, as I am sure you do, then why not enjoy the many pleasures of a younger man? One of my friends put it this way... "Get REAL! Do you really think he's going to want to marry you when he finds out you are as old as his mother?" Sure enough, it was one of many big factors in our break-up. I'm curious to know more about your situation. I just hope you're having fun. Remember what Cher says about younger men... If he wants to leave... I'll help him pack his bags.

- Response by micheletoe89, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Transportation

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personally i think that's not cute all all but each to his own

- Response by CuppyCakey, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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Teach him well cougar girl .. have fun whilst it lasts ..

- Response by berri, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, New South Wales, Who Cares?

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Life is so short, enjoy each moment just as long as you are not hurting some other poor soul.
We all die in the end, some with huge regrets

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Well I still have another year to wait but if I'm not in a relationship then I will sure try my best.

- Response by lom2009, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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Lets tell it like it is...first of all for every person there are thousands of so called "soul mates" out in the world. As a 46 year old person you should be looking for one that is closer to your own age. There are many stages to life. How can a 19 yr. old possibly relate or understand your life experiences? Maybe they listen to you and pay attention to you ,and maybe even look up to you, so it makes you feel good. Physically, lets face it..your 46 yr. old body surely looks nothing like a 19 yr.old. and guess what it's going to get worse, now the aging process really begins. How in the hell will you be able to keep up? You won't. You are a mother figure to this person...he is to young to know what he is looking for....and you are too old to tell him. Set him free and let him be 19.

- Response by kimtiger38, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Sacramento, Self-Employed

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