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Active Questions

Is it stupid to fall in love with someone you never met yet?
Dating / 12:56 AM - Friday November 20, 2009

Is it stupid to fall in love with someone you never met yet?

Hi. I am 32 yrs old from Philippines. This guy I love is 54 from USA, he is never married. We're in-love but never met yet. We talked for more than a year but he is busy to meet me in person coz of his work. Is this feeling true? Make the story short... I got email from a girl saying he is a player, she showed me evidences that he denied me and also he was active on dating sites, 4 dating sites, but he deleted them now.

Am I stupid for falling in love? be honest pls!

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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No, you are NOT stupid. But, you would be wise, to be very cautious of what COULD BE.

It is not a good thing that he is on dating sites. Even if you think he has left them, he most likely has only changed his online name.

You should be very careful and protect your heart. Men that live on the Internet can be very, very cold and calculating.

Plan on him being a liar. Then if he is anything less than that, it will be a welcome thing. :)

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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YES IT IS and I can't even believe you are still OK with this man after he erases the other web sites he was on after you know what he was doing...

Self esteem !!!!! Babe... you are better than that!!!!! MOVE ON !

Be Good!!

Miss I Can Help

- Response by missicanhelp, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Consulting

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LOve is never stupid!!!
-but, you must be better in love with your own heart!
i think you need to understand the true-ness of love, instead of just loving the ideal of.
This guy, I think you'd be wasting your time.

- Response by pinknblu, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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No, it is not. It is more common that you'd expect. The only trouble is that the love my go away after you meet.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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You should never fall in love, that is commit yourself, with someone you have never met.
You just can never be sure. The way you are asking this question is worrying me. It seems that if you fall in love with this guy and he turns out to be a player, you are going to get hurt.
If that is true then please don't hurt yourself.
Keep an open mind Once he meets you, its a long distance relationship. After that you need to talk about a time limit. That is the time within which both of you should be together.
If nothing happens in this time limit you move on.
But all of this happens unless he comes to meet you(or you got to meet him).
Right you are skeptical, keep the skepticism alive, until you get a commitment from him.(that what I mentioned above or something that is enough for you). Also keep a time limit, if nothing happens within that time move on.
Best of luck

- Response by qwanraj, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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I met my husband online and we have been married 7 years. He moved from Cheyenne Wyoming and I live in California. It was tough at first but we stuck it out and I fell in love with him before we met. So it does happen more that you know.

- Response by cococrispy68, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Sacramento, Home Maker

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I can see where you are coming from.. but you will not know your true feelings until you have spent real time with this man.

- Response by lollypie, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, London

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Honestly? You are being gullible and you are setting yourself up to get hurt.

You do not know ANYONE until you meet him. Tell him that you can't think of him seriously until he makes the time to meet you. And do NOT have sex with him until he makes the time to meet you at least six weekends in a row.

Watch out for yourself, because very few are decent enough not to take advantage of nice people online. :/

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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You're not stupid, but you might be basing your feelings on an incomplete picture. Clearly there is a lot you don't know about this man and the distance makes it easier for him to tell you one thing while doing another.

If he seriously wanted to be with you, he would be trying to be with you. He would be saving up his money and vacation days to spend quality time with you. I would be very careful and learn more about him before devoting your time and energy to him.

- Response by mssassychica, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, London, Executive

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I do not believe it is stupid to fall in love with someone you have not met yet. There are a lot of people that meet over the Internet and by comminicating that way they try to get to know each other. You need to ask a lot of questions and verify some of the things the person says. It is no different than meeting the out at a bar or a park etc ecept you have not had the personal contact with them.

It is best when both people decide to meet to see if the feelings developed are real and true and thus continue after you have personal contact.
No - I do not feel you are stupid at all.

- Response by bobseashore75, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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No it is not stupid but it is ignorant to not heed any of the 'evidence' that you were shown and protect yourself from any possible hurt...if he truly wanted to meet you and be with you, he would have made an effort to meet you in the past year and maybe he's just saying the things you want to hear so that you don't figure out that he's 'playing' you and doesn't really have any intentions of being with are basing your emotions on things he has said and from what it sounds like, he is good at making you believe cautious because what you might 'know' online about him may not be true about what he is like in real life...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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- Response by jamiesangel777, An Engaged Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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My lady I think its very possible to fall in love with someone you havent met but what happens if he is a 400 lb man and bald and you finally meet, then what, still in love????There so many bad things that can happen because men can hide behind the words said until you meet and then the words change! Find a younger man because your 32 and him 54 and in 10 yrs your 42 and he is 64 and elderly and you will leave him. You in your prime and he is nearly off the planet(death)You will be vry heartbroken in a short time?? YOUNGER!!

- Response by ptawillis, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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