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He doesn't like questions?
Dating / 8:48 PM - Tuesday November 17, 2009

he doesn't like questions?

I'm in the first relationship that i actually care about, and my boyfriend loves me deeply, i truly believe that. He does, however, have some communication problems. He does not know how to talk with people (probably mainly women), and when i ask him questions, it annoys him. I've talked with him about this, and he says he doesn't mean to...then he tries very hard to change, but then when i ask a simple question ("are you hungry?") he reacts ("quit asking questions!"). we are both adults, and it's ridiculous that when we go out we can't even talk because he doesn't know how to chat but doesn't like answering questions. Please help :( i really want to make this work. Prior to this i've always felt good at making people open up.

p.s. we are long distance, so only see each other about once a month

- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Law Enforcement

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Today's men, more than ever before, are being forced to numb their feelings. If they ask themselves how they feel about something, they get no answer.
I'm surprised by how much my being here has made me open up to myself, pushing myself to craft answers to seemingly obvious issues.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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Rather than trying to change him, perhaps you should look at your own behavior. Why is the first relationship you actually care about with someone who won't open up when opening someone up is what makes you happy? Is the fixing him what's so enticing?

Yes, he does need to work on his communication - that will help him in his relationships and in his career. But if you really are attracted to the challenge of improving this aspect of him, then you will either become resentful when he doesn't change or get bored when he does.

- Response by ddegon, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Washington, DC

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