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Active Questions

Why men in their thirties are only interested in women in their twenties or teenagers?
Dating / 12:03 AM - Sunday November 08, 2009

why men in their thirties are only interested in women in their twenties or teenagers?

- Asked by loula, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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I am in my thirties and i can honestly tell you that not all men are interested in younger woman. personally i prefer a woman that really knows what she wants.

- Response by ewafford, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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Because young women are *hawt* and still able to push babies out with less complications. They're less likely to have been around the block, and less likely to be a single parent.

- Response by jillopo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

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Well I am 24 and my boyfriend is 37. I date men in their 30s because of their maturity. Women mature more faster than men. I can't tolerate dating little immature boys in their 20s too much for me. Men in their 30s are seeking younger women without babies, someone to start fresh with and same intellectual similarities.

- Response by allyirls, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, New York, Fashion

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then why was i dating 28, 36 and 40 year old women when i was 20?

- Response by headscratching, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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For the same reasons that men in their 40's, 50's, and 60's like them. :)

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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I think most men have an age range that they are interested in. I don't know why you are seeing only 30-something men chasing after very young women... but when I was dating (I got married when I was 30), I dated men anywhere from 25 to 40 years old. Most of the men I dated were within a few years of my age...

If you are seeing older men favoring women who are quite a bit younger, I think for many of them it's probably got more to do with complications than age... when I was dating, I had never been married, didn't have children, didn't smoke, and, guess what, I didn't want to date anyone who had an ex-wife (who needs the drama?) or had children (I wanted to have my own family before becoming a mom) and who smoked (it's like kissing an ashtray).

Those were just my requirements. Why should I get pi**ed at a guy for having requirements, too?

Now, if I met a guy who was 35 who ONLY went after the 19 year olds - yes, that guy has a problem. Either he's really shallow, or he needs to be in control (as women get older, they get more self-confident and are less easily manipulated) or he has got some other issues. Besides, there is something creepy about a mature person going after teenagers.

But if I met a 35 year old guy who, on his profile on an online dating site, said he was open to dating women from 25-38, then I wouldn't see that as an issue. And if he happened to meet a 23 year old at a party and really fell for her - well, so what? It's a little weird, sure, but it might also be true love.

BTW, traditionally, the reason women usually end up marrying men who are a few years older - women themselves tend to want someone who is emotionally mature, and women mature faster than men. Interestingly, if you go back historically to marriage records from, say, Germany back in the 1600s, you'll see that among the common people, men and women married in their 20s, and usually they were pretty close in age. The reason they didn't marry until he was, say, 26 and she was 24 - they didn't marry until they were economically secure enough to support a family.

BTW, when it comes to sex, I think women are the ones in control. Most single guys will probably sleep with just about any woman ONCE if she indicates to him that she's willing... but women are way more picky. Or, at least that was the way it was when I was dating...

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Young women are easily impressed and therefore easier to date than older women. The guys their age have crappy jobs, cars, living situations, and haven't dated many women so they tend to make fools of themselves quite often. This makes older men much more attractive than the younger guys.

Men, at any age, tend to take the path of least resistance. As a result, the young women who are infatuated with them and make themselves available come across as more attractive than the women their own age who are more skeptical.

Any man in his thirties who isn't looking to get married is going to date every attractive woman who makes herself available to him, and the number of young women who make themselves available is disproportionately greater than women his own age who do the same.

- Response by workplay, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Military

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- Response by caramelpie23, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Well, not all of the man like yourger woman, I had met men my age or a little older and they seem to look for a mature woman, looking for a stable relationship and they found older woman more challeging(in a good sense) than younger.

So it depends of the maturity of the men, if you had found this type of men who only are interested in yourger woman, I think they are not mature enough or that is their preferences.

Do not give up there are men interested in woman their age.

- Response by pemby8, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Beats me. When I was in my 30's, I had the hots for women in their 40's and 50's. I'll never forget the crush I had on a woman 20 years older than me.. she was so classy, so elegant, and 54 years old... just a beautiful lady. Too bad she was married or I would have gone after her in a heartbeat.

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Other Profession

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That is the type of cop out spoken from someone who has let their body and their life go. As you get older you can no longer ride off of the physical and social advantages of youth and it takes more effort to be fun, interesting and attractive. Instead of being bitter try turning off the tv, planning your diet, starting up a gym membership, explore fun active activities, put time and effort into looking your best every time you walk out the door.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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In my experience, it's kind of the other way around. I'm 35 and (including my current gf) have only dated two younger women in my whole life. They both approached me first, I didn't chase them. Again, this is only my experience, but it seems to me the real problem is that women never want to date men their own age. As a guy, when I was in my 20's, it was only women in their 30's and 40's who were interested in me. Now that I'm in my 30's, I'm constantly getting approached by women in their 20's...

As far as my personal preferences, I've always preferred older women. But now, as I'm getting older, the women who are older than me are becoming less attractive. I'd say the reasons are cuz alot of older women let themselves go physically, are bitter emotionally, are so focused on their kids and careers that they have no spare time, and as a result, aren't much fun to be around...

- Response by rokitman, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Is's not that simple it's about finding that one that you connect with. For instance I am 30 and he is 41 and when we are together i am 16 and he is 18 we totally get each other. That's what it's about not necessarily age in number but the one that makes you feel youthful when you are together no matter what age.

- Response by mrsmm, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Because men are 10 years behind women in maturity level. So women 10 years younger than them are equal in maturity level

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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Because they don't. This is simply your excuse for why men don't like you.

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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It may not be that they are 'only' interested in women in their 20s or younger, but because they just prefer to be with someone who may not have a lot of 'baggage' or 'experience' because it makes for a more enjoyable relationship...or maybe because they think that dating a younger woman is better because these women may not have children and are still young enough to have really depends on their reasons because many guys I know in their 30's tend to date women who are older rather than younger and most of them say it's because they like a woman with experience and those few who date younger women in their 20's, say that it's because these women don't have as many 'expectations' as women their age or older...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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where do you live? different areas have different dating cultures. when i was living in las vegas, i would have read your statement and agreed with it.

since moving to the midwest, i've met more than a few men in there 30's and above who are not interested in women in their 20's. they state that people in their 20's just have different interests and are incompatiable because they are at a different place in their lives.

one more thing, if you are having a hard time meeting men in their 30's...become a cougar. cougars are very popular right now and you could have alot of fun with a 20 something until the write 30 something comes along.

- Response by darchie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Chicago

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AAHHH are you kidding me? If you were complaining about 50 to 60 year-olds going after women in their twenties is one thing but 30-year-old men. Well, Not all of them are. And the age difference is not that big. Unless it is a 30-year-old dating an 18-year-old then we can talk about that.
Oh btw, I date guys younger than me. There are mature 20-year-old guys out there too.

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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the younger girls always have better bodies

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I'm 58 and I love to look at women in their late teens and early twenties. Date them? Not a chance. I prefer someone who can carry a conversation without a mouth full of gum and who has actually read a book or two.

- Response by hnimsoc, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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I'm 22, my boyfriend is 30. He's interested in me for a number of reasons. 1)He loves me. (Who doesn't?) 2) I have a job and pay my own way. 3) I'm NOT marriage obsessed and hate children. (This is an important one!) 4) I'm 22. (Isn't that enough?)

- Response by sunshinehighway, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York, Medical / Dental

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The girl I'm really interested in is the same age as me. I'm 32 and will date someone mid-20's, but not far below that (maturity and 'what they want out of life' issues). Men do look at women their own age.

Scientifically to answer your question; men are biologically programmed to want mates who are in the peak of their reproductive years. Thus they're most likely to successfully sire off-spring. It's hard-coded in us.

Another guy answered something interesting as well; it's easier to impress a younger woman. Women tend to dig guys who are at least the same social status (or higher) than them. Scientifically this is because those men are most likely to be able to support children.

- Response by nathans, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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not all of them..alot of guys don't put an age limit on love and they are open to date people alot older and alot younger..i agree w/what someone said about when you get older, and this includes men too..that u have to put more into your looks and have a little more to offer on the dating scene than when u were's just the truth..a fat, ugly, broke, bald 37 year old guy is not going to pull a hot 21 year-old, unless he's her dope pusher or something..

also..i don't mean any harm..but to the user called"sunshinehighway" , your older bf may have thought u guys were around the same age when he met u..I am 31 and u and I look like we could have went to school i don't think he picked u because u are 22..but u still look cute though..:)

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Financial / Banking

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Younger women are easier to manipulate. They haven't been beaten up enough by jerks to learn how to stand up for themselves.

- Response by waitinggirl22, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles

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Take advantage of men who are interested in women in your age range. Lately it's been guys in my age range.

Send me PM ;)

- Response by anothergentleman, A Father Figure, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Technical

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I like how dalaimama is desperately trying to rationalize it as "men can't deal with the intellectual sophistication of older women." What intellectual sophistication? It's funny how women define themselves as more sophisticated because they watch crappy Hallmark channel movies about sisters dying of breast cancer instead of watching sports. That doesn't make women more sophisticated, it makes them more emotional and it also makes them really unreliable as movie critics.

Also, if women "mature faster than men," then younger women should be ecstatic about dating older men, who are equally as mature as them. So there's no problem any more, right? RIGHT. OWNED.

- Response by istillhatescreennames, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older

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When I was in my thirties, all I wanted to get back with my cougar friend. She was turning 50 when she finally ended it with me.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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