I'm not ready to forgive her,what should I do?

Wow. This is one of those messed up for a long time situations because she is Family and you can't completely dismiss her.

I think her attitude is what's holding you from forgiving her and that's totally understandable. It's hard to forgive this in any event but when the person is callous about it and maybe even smug it makes it even worse. I hope things are better with your Husband and that he's worked on himself too.

As hard as it is, I would send a Congratulations concerning the Baby and extend the Sister the chance to talk. Sometimes when people have babies, they suddenly grow up and the selfishness that leads them to act without regard and then feel nothing after ward, is lessened by the fact they have a child to protect and nurture. They see beyond themselves for the first time and can have empathy in ways they never expected because they'd never want anyone to treat that child poorly so in essence, they stop acting poorly themselves. What if someone came into her fragile situation and slept with her Man now and threatened the sanctity of her home and the child's home? She'd not like it one bit...

So for this reason, I'd tell her that you want to forgive her so you can move on towards healing but that her lack of regard about it has been a problem. If she seems more receptive perhaps you'll see some sign of remorse and healing can begin. If she doesn't, simply continue to keep things at arms distance until you feel ready to come around. Granted, you ultimately are responsible for the decision to forgive because it's hurting YOU to hold on to that anger and pain more than it ever will her. (It's not about her anymore at this point).

The best definition of forgiveness I've ever heard is "Forgiveness is the Violet that sprays forth it's sweet scent onto the heel of the boot that crushed it". You can forgive and know that it doesn't mean you are condoning her actions or accepting her response. You are simply freeing yourself from the drama she created so you can move on. Peace is worth it.
Good luck to you.

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Your sister obviously has no conscience, no remorse whatsoever. From what you said she told you, she's just trying to justify what she did; she's got no love for you as family. And that's just so wrong. You should've told her, "yeah, God will forgive you, but that doesn't mean I have to! Yes, you're family, but I don't have to acknowledge that. You should've thought of that BEFORE opening your legs for MY HUSBAND!! And sisters should never cross that line!" And in response to her saying you'll need her one day, I'd say "HELL NO!! I don't need a lying, back-stabbing, low life sister in my life who I can't trust!"

It's good you don't have anything against her baby. But keep in mind that having anything to do with her baby means having to have something to do, one way or another, with HER. If it were me, I'd have nothing to do with either of them. She made her bed, now she's got to lie in it. Remember what goes around, comes around. Karma can be a bitch!

My thinking is that family should know their limits, in every situation & it shouldn't be crossed. You may consider forgiving her in your own way one day, but that's up to you. I personally couldn't. Who knows when she'll screw you over & stab you in the back again?? I would beat the hell outta both of them, then have nothing to do with either one of them again.

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How come you forget him not her?????????????? I am not saying you should forgive her, but I see you are very sexist and needy. You left your sister (which is completely right) just because you don't really need her but stayed with the man because you think he is a man, its ok if he cheats and because you need his money??

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That is a absolute taboo with me. Don't mess with relatives or friends. I would send a gift for the baby because the baby is innocent. It would be very hard to hang with sis though. That is the ultimate betrayal. I would be just as mad at my husband though what are you saying to him?

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To be totally honest, I wouldn't give her the time of day but I would congratulate her on the baby and that would be it...she is neither remorseful or even trying to take your feelings into consideration and on top of that, she 'threatened' you by saying you will one day need her...that is just some nasty words to say to someone that you betrayed and especially to your family member...acknowledge the baby but don't go above and/or beyond for her because she deserves nothing from you and certainly shouldn't 'expect' anything either...:D

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pay backs a bitch!

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If you've forgiven him, why not her?

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I would have forgiven my sibling before I forgave my s/o, but that's just me.

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Maybe you need to ask yourself why it is easier to forgive your husband especially as your sister couldn't have had an affair with him if he wasn't a willing participant. As for the lack of remorse that may not be the case, it could just be that she has forgiven herself and refuses to live in the past paying for her choices. Sometimes in life it is more essential that we forgive ourselves then to wait for someone else to forgive us.

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You can forgive her, but you don't have to bunk with her. it will free you. Curious if u forgave husband? we expect loyalty from bith. When the pain of being with or around ppl who huert us so deeply is as deep as yours, best you let more time pass with sister,

I would send a card of congratulatione to welcome your new niece. that's being a bigger person that her. good luck

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...she is family..and now that she has a man..karma will be a bitch because she is now on the side that u were on..which was trying to maintain a home and family..if u know that u won't get anything out of the relationship w/her..then continue to love her from a distance..but if she has love to offer u..i say keep in contact..

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