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Why doesn't he want to tell his family about me?
Dating / 11:01 PM - Wednesday November 04, 2009

Why doesn't he want to tell his family about me?

I've been getting pretty close to a male friend of mine recently and we've been discussing becoming more than just friends, but he says he wants to keep it a secret from his family for a little while.

He's quite shy and doesn't have much experience with women, so I think perhaps he's nervous about his family's reaction - incase they tease him or something.

I'm fine with keeping quiet about it at first, at least until we've been dating long enough to know whether we have something real that could last.

- Asked by A Creative, Female, 22-25, Student

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A lot of people won't bring someone home to their parents or talk to their parents about a relationship until things become more serious. It sounds like you and your friend just made the decision to start dating, so i'd say.. don't think too much of it just yet ;-) wait until things, if they do, get more serious. Then if he doesn't talk or tell his parents about you two, id take it more seriously. Hope that helps some-what! :-)

- Response by loy4lty, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Self-Employed

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Just to offer another point of view for you to consider... many people, I being one of them, are very private with their personal business. You have no clue what his family dynamics are. They could be very insensitive and brutal with their opinions and comments about everything.

There are other reasons that people desire to keep their personal life PERSONAL. And, I think they should have the right to do that.

I think when someone thinks they are ready to introduce someone to their family THAT is when they are ready and nobody should make up their mind for them. I often wondered why some people push this issue so much, especially before they even have a real relationship with the other person. It sounds very insecure and definately adds pressure for the other person to deal with.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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You answered your own question :
"I'm fine with keeping quiet about it at first, at least until we've been dating long enough to know whether we have something real that could last."

A man doesn't just bring anyone home to meet his family. Don't rush it. Take it slow.

- Response by gumboyaya, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Law Enforcement

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There is nothing wrong with introducing you as a friend (for his sake if he is that nervous), but many think that men cannot have a friend that is only a friend if they are female.

Ask him to do just that----just a friend. For now. Once they are used to you, it will be easier for him to call you GF in front of them.......if that happens for you.

GOOD LUCK!!!



- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Other than you already answering it, meybe he doesnt want to get their hopes up or doesnt want them to scare you away....

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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Hate to break it to you, but if a guy doesn't want to introduce you to his family, he's not serious about you in any way, shape or form. He's lumped you into "the kind you don't take home to mother" category.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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if you are good enough for him I would think you would be ok with the family

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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If he wants to keep a secret about you from his family, that should be the hint informing you that you are not the "one".

- Response by sleeksasy06, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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