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I'm really starting to hate my husband, he is such an ass, I can't afford a divorce, so I'm stuck ..
Sex & Intimacy / 2:40 PM - Monday November 02, 2009

I'm really starting to hate my husband, he is such an ass, I can't afford a divorce, so I'm stuck ..

He just has no consideration for anyone but himself - however - he does not see it that way. I swear his thinking is hooray for me and sucks for you. His car broke down the other day and he through a hissy fit because I wouldn't let him take my car so he can "go out" and drink. Like does he have to really go out? Please, he's 32 he can sit on his ass. Then Saturday night he called me at my second job to bitch that there was nothing to eat and he has no car to go buy something. I was like are your fingers broken, you can cook something. I told him there was a pizza in the freezer and he was like - oh, I have to cook it in the oven, I'm not doing that. I was like then starve, I don't know what else to tell you. After his little hissy fit he ended up baking the pizza in the oven.

Then yesterday we were literally on our way out the door to go grocery shopping when his cousin showed up for some reason. My husband comes in the house and does not say one word to me he just puts the dogs in their crates and I was waiting for him so we can leave and I was like why is your cousin still here and he was like, because I'm going with him TO WATCH FOOTBALL!!! I was about to freak out and start screaming at him, like he couldn't tell his cousin, I have plans right now and I'll meet you down there and see if he'll give him a ride home. (I had work so I couldn't pick him up and I couldn't go shopping later or some other day), I ended up storming out of the house and not speaking to him for the rest of the night. I didn't even make him a lunch this morning, tough shit, he's a grown ass boy he can make his own lunch.

Things are just getting worse and worse. Are they really that bad that I need to divorce him, not necessarily; also, I don't have the money to file for a divorce. But I just don't even want to be around him, maybe I'm just going through a phase or something. It's like every little thing he does is pissing me off and we're speaking to each other less and less. It's mostly me and when HE wants to have sex I'm like why do I have to, not that I don't enjoy it once it's over, but when he starts I'm like, Oh God why is he bothering me I just want to sleep. Maybe it's depression, ok, it's depression but would depression make me not like my husband?

He started to quit smoking two weeks ago and probably within the last week he's starting to buy cigarettes again and lying about it. I was on the banks website to see if we had enough money in that account so it didn't bounce and I was like, since when did you decide to start smoking again. And of course he was like, what are you talking about, your spying on me and shit like that. I was like I was checking to make sure the account didn't bounce and the charges are right there, and first he was like I didn't buy the cigarettes for myself. So, I was like your wasting OUR money on one of your stupid ass friends. Then he was like yeah, so what I bought cigarettes and I was like why are you smoking all of a sudden and he was like because of you. Which blew me away because I haven't done shit. We haven't argued, I don't nag him, I haven't asked him to do a thing for me (because I DON'T want to ask him, I don't want to ask him to do shit for me), I cook super for him and I make him lunch every day and do whatever I have to. Hell I barely speak to him, so how can he say I'm stressing him out to make him smoke? Is my not speaking to him stressing him out? Highly doubt it. And we don't really communicate, because when I speak and question what he's doing or did he freaks out on me and starts yelling and I just stop talking, because I don't want to end up in a yelling match over nothing. I've basically given up. I know eventually we'll end up getting a divorce or we'll be like those married couples in namesake only.

Speaking of him flipping out for no reason, on Friday I was like, can you please come down here I want to ask you something, I had to ask him 5 times to stop playing xbox and come downstairs. (ridiculous) so he comes downstairs and I was like, why did you dump all the clean clothes that were folded in the laundry basket on the floor? He said because they were sitting there for a week, so he dumped them onto the floor where the dogs are now walking all over them, which means I have to wash them again. I was like did they get dirty or something, I'm trying to understand why you dumped them out of the basket. He starts screaming they sat there for a week - I guess clean clothes get dirty if they sit in a basket for a week. I was like never mind, started picking up the clothes and he's continuing to scream and yell and rant and rave about how I'm always on his ass and I don't know what else I tuned him out. I mean was I in the wrong for asking why he dumped the clothes out? Then I go in the basement and I find that he washed the clothes I was so excited until I realized he didn't wash the clothes he washed only his clothes and left mine sitting on the ground. He washed like half a load. That pissed me off and I was like, what it was too hard for you to wash my clothes too - not like he didn't have to pick through all the clothes just get his out of the hamper. That set him off again, at this point I was like I'm going to my mothers, please do not be here when I get home, because I fucking hate you. And I left, did not speak to him at all Saturday, but when I was getting ready for work on Saturday he happen to be downstairs and started throwing a temper tantrum (mantrum) about me wearing his shirt - not like it was a good shirt or a shirt he really ever wears. I politely pointed out that he was wearing my brand new sweat shirt that I bought for Halloween, but of course it's ok for him to wear my clothes, but I can't wear his. So, I ignored him and went outside to put my boots on and he continued to freak out about his shirt, so there I am on the front porch, I was like fine you want your fucking shirt here have it. I took the shirt off right there and then, standing my bra, I put my zip up hoodie on and started walking to the car. Of course, he was screaming for me to get back in the house and put clothes on and all those other things. I was like fuck you, thank God I had a sweatshirt in my car that I ended up wearing.

I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong, what am I doing besides breathing that's pissing him off? I've told him time and time again, he is free to leave any time he wants to, because I know he's not happy with me and being married and yet he never leaves. Please tell me, is it me, am I being unreasonable in asking him questions??? Oh, yeah, he tells me all the time I ask too many questions, why do I need to ask questions? How do you live without asking questions?

Why is poisoning illegal? I don't want to kill him, I just want him to shut up for a few days. I wish I could slip him some happy pills, but he doesn't take pills!

- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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Ick. These fucking posts are getting creepier and creepier and more disturbing everyday.

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Celebrity

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

There are times that you have to learn to keep your mouth shut!
It just makes things worse, this is why woman are called nags.

So try and keep to yourself over the next few days, let things cool off and it will probably improve.

- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

He's a brat. save up some money and walk out. You don't have to divorce him. But you DO have to leave him. Otherwise nothing will ever change. If you are unhappy then you must leave. If you sit around and let him continue to walk all over you then he will just keep being an insufferable brat.

Leave him. Just leave him. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Pack up and go.

- Response by kagurahime, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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I didnt even finish your note. Your hubby sounds like a Class A jerk. Go talk with a divorce attorney. You shouldn't have to spend much money to get this guy out of your life. If you own anything jointly (car, house, boat, etc.) be prepared to just give it to him. It will be worth it to be rid of him.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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Hi. First, take a deep breath.. I mean literally... slow down with me for a bit. Getting worked up like will only making things worse. I understand you are very frustrated. I'm read that. I'm sorry, and I KNOW this is very hard for you. You are both under a lot of stress and pressure. You can make your marriage what you want it to be, but it will take some basic efforts. This problem you are having... I am telling you... you CAN solve this and make this better. You can have the marriage you want. You did love him when you first got together, remember those days and do not make them caustic. It will not benefit you in life, it will actually cause you more pain and grief. Let me ask three questions and then I would like to be able to post an answer later on tonight after that for you to just consider if I may. I have some good input for you if you will permit me. How long have you been married? Is this a first or second marriage? Do you have children together?

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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He's obviously and asshole. But you need to get help for yourself so you can do what you know you need to do.

- Response by lehualani63, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Executive

Rating Received:

Everyone can afford a divorce. Social Services provides for a system called "Legal Aid". They help you fill out and file the paperwork and serve your spouse. It costs under $100. BUT...what kind of terms you get in your divorce DOES DEPEND on what kind of legal representation you can afford. If you are looking for things like alimony and think he would fight custody agreements and things like that then you need better representation and that costs at least $1500 and up.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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There is help for you. Places to stay, if not with a friend or family. You need to get out of that relationship. You say you work two jobs, so why can't you leave. Pack your stuff, and get out. I helped a friend move out while her husband was at work, she never went back,and today is remarried, and VERY HAPPY....

- Response by chrissyapple83, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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first of all im in the same fucking boat..scary.And yes I too feel poisoning shoulod be legal. No matter what the hell u do or dont do you are the enemy.I know this all too well I am a wonderful wife but you know how that goes..unappreciated!!!! Forget him, go something for yourself!!! Seriously ignore his ass, some guys really are just born to be pricks.Either leave him alone by his wretched self or if you still love him just smack him around like a great powerful black woman would haha.

- Response by xxxsynxxx, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Retail

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I'm in the exact situation. Leave his dumb ass. He's never gonna change and you'll eventually do something to him you'll regret ( and you'll only regret because u went to jail, lol). Quietly save up your money, work extra hours and just leave. You don't need to play mommy or put up with his shit. I'm sure you're still young so enjoy ur life, while you can. I lost my second job so I can't afford to leave but I swear I would if I could. Run, child! Run like the wind and run like helllll!!!!!

- Response by annalynn82, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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way, way too long a post. better broken up as a series of short stories. please resubmit.

- Response by two469, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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