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Does a man ever leave his wife for the mistress?
Married Life / 7:57 PM - Sunday November 01, 2009

Does a man ever leave his wife for the mistress?

If a man is truly miserable in his marriage and believes his wife isn't trying at all, does he ever fall for the mistress? Why, if these men are so unhappy, do they continue to stay in the marriage? Is marriage that confining that YOU can't get out of a bad one? Why do these men cheat and don't care about hurting the mistress or their wife? Why get married at all if YOU didn't like YOUR wife prior to the wedding?

Update: November 01, 2009.
man in question has been married less than 2 years and have an infant...

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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I asked my guy friends who cheat... ( they all do!!!)
An older man of 70years, a bank manager for at least 20 ys. He has been cheating with at least 2 gfs for 30 years!!!!!!!!!!!! he said his wife is a hard person! She found out .. but she stayed and he continued in cheating. Now the couples separated, but he won't marry the gf!!!!!!!!! she is 48!!!!!!!!! and he think she is not lively and active enough!!!!!!!!!!!! YES

Another friend, 50, a successful business man. He cheats with random women. His wife once find out, he apologized!! she stayed... he cheats at least when he travels. He said a man need more than one women.
A third is 50, he is an international development consultant. He was with his women for 20 years, she is everything a man wants. Pretty, smart, actually she pushed him until he became a millionaire! He says he loves her! but he has been cheating with a gf for 10 years.
After marriage, life is not about love, its about kids and financial stability and routine. Love is a myth, its all about interests.


- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Some of them do leave, but then they go on to cheat on the mistress just like they cheated on the wife. The problem is rarely the wife. It's the fact that the guy would rather cheat than either focus on making his marriage better or filing for divorce. In cases where the guy stays in the marriage even though he's miserable, he usually does it because of the kids or joint material assets that he's afraid of losing in a divorce. And he probably truly loved his wife at the time he married her and still at least *likes* her, even if he no longer feels the spark for her that he once did. He just doesn't have the integrity to either be faithful to her or set her free to find a guy who will be.



- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Yes,but if you then become the wife. Will he take a new mistress? Odds or pretty good!

- Response by brezzyblue, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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rarely. why does he want a woman that would sleep with a married man? and although HE'S the married man, that thought is ALWAYS in the back of his mind. however, a typical wife will end up marrying her lover, cause she has no were else to turn. and usually needs the financial help.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Money. If he divorces his wife, he has to give her half of everything. Most men are selfish and think their wife isn't *entitled* to half, even though she probably contributed half, too, over the course of the marriage.

Besides - who wants a husband who cheats on his wife? He cheated on HER with YOU. He'll cheat on YOU with someone else.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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The guy who is with my ex-wife left his wife for HIS mistress.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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Usually not because there are other factors involved, financial, security, the kids, the unknown and they just want their cake and eat it too. Because they are only thinking of their own satisfaction. Perhaps after they got married things changed, wife didn't want to have sex, they drifted apart, many other reasons.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Generally, no. There are rare instances. There are many reasons why a married man cheats. Generally he stays because of 1) the kids; or 2) doesn't want financial ruin, especially if kids are involved as he really pays with child support in a divorce as well as splitting assets with the wife. For some, it means they wouldn't have two nickles to rub together.

Some cheat because they can and like the thrill of chasing other women. You can't always believe his story about the wife either. I love the one of "I'm separated." Separated as in when you left home this morning for work so you're separated from the wife during work hours. If this pertains to you, you're a fool to mess with a married man and a bigger fool if he's going to leave her for you and risk loss of his child and much of his finances. Don't you have more self worth than that? Don't you feel you can do better and deserve better? He'll use you as long as YOU allow it.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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((( hugs and a c-star to steve.. thanks when ever us women try to tell these wanna be mistress women it's the wife is jealous.. finally a man is telling them.. darling if that ain't enough.. then i don't know what to tell ya...

- Response by mburgos, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Who Cares?

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Rarely ever happens.
Remember if they will cheat on their wife, they WILL cheat on you.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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According to a few sites regarding infidelity, the man leaves his wife 1% of the time, so if you think you are the "lucky" 1 out of 100, then go for it. I have known people who were having affairs before and I only know of one time the man left his wife for the other woman - the catch being that he'd never had sex with her, he fell in love with her. In all of the situations I know of where the man had sex with the woman, he's never left his wife for her.

I've also seen a couple situations where the wife found out and every single time the guy stayed with his wife, turned against his mistress, and it turned out he really loved his wife and wanted to work it out after all - what he was telling his mistress was a line of BS.

And, assuming this is about you, if he leaves his wife and marries you, you are now the wife of a man who you know will cheat on his wife . . . this is really a no-win situation.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Seattle, Technical

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The question is too general. In a certain situation, a man may start having an affair if he's immature and cannot wait until his wife heals and rest from having a baby. Wives cheat too. Why? They weren't getting satisfied by their husbands, or were neglected, or in love with someone else.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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u come by my guy and u will b sorry :):):)

- Response by tebrebrab, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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u come by my guy and u will b sorry :):):) bad?

- Response by tebrebrab, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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they rarely leave for the mistress and being marryed did not start out that it goes that way over time

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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geNerALLY SPEAKING, IT IS RARE THAT A MAN WILL LEAVE WIFE,HOUSE, MORTGAGE, CHILDREN FOR HIS BIT OF FLUFF,SO GIRLS, IF YOU THINK HE WILL LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU, HAVE ANOTHER THINK

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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This man sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Although it's possible that he might leave his wife, why should he? In his mind, he has the best of both worlds.

- Response by experience101, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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In short......NO! NEVER!

- Response by Vickey69, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I left my husband because of the mistress. It was for my best interest. Divorce is nasty, every bit of it. But I feel better now.

- Response by Female, 36-45, Munich, Financial / Banking

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Probably cause he doesn't want to lose the kids, house, cars, and 50% of his future income to his wife. My question is why do women not leave abusive husbands if they can easily get half of everything and be away from the SOB.


- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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some just want the best of both worlds*

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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why do they blame the mistress when thing don;t go right.he will say he is letting her make up her mine on what to do.am i'm wrong to try to hold on to this man.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 36-45

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Sure they will if they want this woman bad enough,don't worry because the grass is not greener on the other side. If your husband cheats on you he will cheat on the mistress. A leopard doesn't change his spots,have you ever thought that this woman know that if he cheated on you, he will cheat on her? Now this is the kicker,the mistress ended up cheating on him.I founded out that he was a narcissistic and they don't know what love is,so they are out for self gratification.This man drove me nuts and I'm so glad he's out of my life!! Now he's somewhere looking stupid because he ended up lossing both of us!

- Response by realsoul4, Female, 56-65

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Maybe u can answer this one she left him I found him he's back with her and still dates me its crazy I luv him so much ahe has a restraing order for herself n kids she threights to have his arrested and I continue towait for him tto actualy try cuzz I luv him enough to set aside but it kills me

- Response by A Player, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Transportation

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u come by my guy and u will b sorry :):):)

- Response by tebrebrab, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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