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Active Questions

Why do men with "Smart" and "Attractive" wives cheat on them?
Married Life / 8:42 PM - Tuesday October 27, 2009

Why do men with "Smart" and "Attractive" wives cheat on them?

These men have some of the best women and they will cheat with women that can't match their wives.

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Philadelphia, Administrative

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Sometimes the "Smart" and "Attractive" women make their men feel inferior. Having an affair is a way for him to prove his manhood to himself, to boost his ego.

- Response by buffalothighs88, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Other Profession

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Being 'smart' and 'attractive' doesn't mean she's a quality partner.. nor even does it mean she's the RIGHT partner.

All the brains and beauty in the world, don't guarantee there is chemistry or compatibility.

People who focus on the shallow aspects of peoples personalities.. will never get it. Attraction & Chemistry is NOT about how pretty, smart or financially successful you are.

It's much.. much.. more complicated than that.

And it's not a choice.

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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Selfishness, immaturity. Its not about the woman, its about HIM.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Either because he's unhappy with her, or because he's a toolbag. Take your pick.

But it has nothing to do with her being smart or attractive.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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looks have nothing to do with it. some of the prettiest women I know are insecure and needy and possessive and may Attract guys, but they can't keep them. Guys still want a women who needs them and can talk to them are care about them.

- Response by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

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marriage even to a sexy female is boring men crave variety

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Monogamy and monotony are closely related. Variety is the spice of life.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Men sometimes appreciate more women that even if they aren't so smart or attractive....make them feel smart and attractive. It is all about the way you make your partner feel, beauty also bores.

- Response by rosybarreto, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Teaching

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Steve67 is 110% correct IMO. I'm a believer that even the guys who like "variety" will be happy to settle down if they find the right woman for them.. regardless of looks, brains, or anything else. Compatibility really matters.

- Response by mariposa222, Female, 36-45

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Never cheated but the leading cause of sepperation and divorce is sex or money. I credit sex for mine. Sense then its been back to dating to find a wife who'd make love to me as much and often as I would her. Finaly gave up on that and just stayed with the last one I was with. Although I never met a woman who wouldn't sex a guy to death to catch him, none will to keep him. Finding new women all the time to be able to love them finaly got old. Rather than marry again and be forced into loving a woman 24/7 who rations when you're alowed to love her, I stay single. That way I can ration our time together and up the odds of loving her when we are.

So back to you question of why a husband with a smart attractive wife might cheat? From my experience, every woman looking for a man will love one 100times as much as the one that has him. When it comes to love'n, a guy either learns to make do or move on.

- Response by fluff47, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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men who cheat do so becasue they can. His cheating isn't about wether his wife is smart or attractive. it's about him being selfish.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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There are as many reasons as there are cheating partners. They are all searching for something to fill a void of some kind. They just don't realize that no one can do that for us, we must do it for ourselves.

- Response by askwhatever, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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Men and women both cheat because their partners don't pay them enough attention and don't make them feel special anymore the way they did in the beginning of the relationship. "Smart" and "attractive" have nothing to do with that Honey

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Maybe because it has nothing to do with the women being 'smart' and 'attractive' but the fact that the man feels that something is missing and has found it with someone else...being smart and attractive doesn't always guarantee happiness and/or contentment in a marriage or relationship...just as money and wealth don't always guarantee happiness...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Because they are after something the smart and attracvie wife either cannot or will not give them.

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Other Profession

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"With women that cant match their wives" Well that statement says alot, Maybe thats why they cheated they want what their wife hasnt been for awhile and they dont want a woman that matches their wives Most men cheat because they arent getting something from their wives whether it be sex or emotional. I know if I was gonna cheat I wouldnt be picking something like what Ive got at home on the couch.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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There are a lot of excuses why a man would cheat on his smart and attrative wife, bui no reasons I can think of....

If the marriage is not a happy one, and there are issues between the husband and wife, either one could cheat.
It all comes down to communication.
If the man feels he has to look outside the marriage for something he does not have with his wife, then he needs to tell his wife that something is lacking.
If the wife has been cheated on, it is a breach of trust by the man and absolutely wrong.

I just got finished reading "The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. I read it many years ago, and bought it for my girlfriend. I would recommend it to anyone that wants to have a better relationship.

Personally, If I was married to a smart and attractive woman, I would feel blessed, fortunate, and do everything to earn and keep her love for me every day.
Of course, many men don't think as deeply as I do, but if a man does not appreciate what he has, and ruins his marriage, he is a fool and an idiot.

Perhaps the wife has some issues that are causing problems in the marriage?
I'm just guessing here, but if a man cheats on his wife with someone less attractive and less smart than his wife, then there might be something more to the story. There are a number of possible things going on in that marriage.

- Response by 1966steven, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Tampa, Teaching

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Geez, I've always experienced this in the reverse.

- Response by stillagoodguy1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Political / Government

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i agree with you a 100% and it the truth...but, and there is always a but understand.. their wife's could be beautiful brick house body , and you'll see them with someone that can't even light a candle to the wife.. but i also hear.. it's because their beautiful wife is all about herself and she knows she looks good, and she can be a bitch inside, as if she is to good to cook, she rather be wined and dined.. ect, ect.. to wear the frumpy woman will give him attention cook, give him that backrub and make him feel wanted and king of the castle... looks aren't everything, and never judge a book by it's cover... beauty is in the eye of the beholder..

- Response by mburgos, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Who Cares?

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A new bit of nooky will always attract

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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