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Should I stay married or get divorced?
Married Life / 7:39 PM - Saturday October 24, 2009

Should I stay married or get divorced?

I have been married for 1 1/2 yrs, but we have been together for 4 years. Now I see we don't fit perfectly. I try to be very patient with my son, he has not patience for kids whatsoever. I work 6 days a week, cook,clean and wait on him hand and foot. He works 4 days a week and plays on the computer the other 3 days. I don't think we will last much longer but want to know if there is anything that may help me decide to work it out or leave.

- Asked by silvermoonlady, Female, 26-28, New Orleans

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If you're turning to a bunch of anonymous people who only know as much of your situation as you want to tell us, to decide something like getting a divorce when you have a kid, you have bigger problems than that.

- Response by istillhatescreennames, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older

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"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, which giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not: and it shall be given him" (James 1:5).

- Response by thundermist04167, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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sounds like you need to talk to a councellor. with BOTH of you working (you more then him) the household chores are to be split 40/40/20 with 40 for you (i'd say 35), 40 for him (45 in this case) and 20 for your son. unless your son is only a toddler, in which case its 50/50 (40/60).

and if the lazy good for nothing bum won't get off his lazy ass and start helping, then kick him to the curb. you're his wife, not his mother/maid.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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statistically, you should get divorced, You don't want to mess up the governments statistics do you?

- Response by phoenixbandit, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Columbus, Law Enforcement

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i don't know sweety, seems like you already know what you want to do. and you just want us to validate it.. but hey if your not happy it's your choice and you are entitled to it 100%. but since you are still newly weds.. but what if you sat his ass down and color him a picture so he can see what he is doing wrong.. and if he doesn't get the picture and act on what your asking{which isn't much because it is something he should be doing reguardless.. then you leave.. but everyone is entitled to a second chance.. i wish you luck either way..

- Response by mburgos, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Home Maker

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Well some kind of consuelling may help... Its up to you. If you feel you can save it go for it but if you feel things will never change get a divoce...

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 22-25, Milwaukee, Food Service

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Might as well get divorced. Your kid needs a parade of men in his life.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Seattle, Construction

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I cannot give you advice based upon the limited information that you supply. In any event, the decision is yours, and I would never advice anyone to do one or the other as it is a very personal decision. However, being in the situation of having to decide whether to stay or leave, I will suggest that open communication with your husband with the assistance, perhaps, of a counselor or other impartial third party may be help you to make up your mind. In addition, I highly recommend the book, "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" by Mira Kirshenbaum. It helped me immensely.

Best wishes and good luck, with whatever you decide.

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

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Sorry for what you are going through. You must be physically and emotionally exhausted!!

I feel like going into your home, hurling the computer into the dumpster, shaking your husband and then slapping his face.
He needs to wake up and grow up for sure!

I don't think what you are going through is totally unique. My own marriage had similar problems, but we worked them through. Both of us had to make changes. I want to believe that there is hope for your marriage.

If you choose to stay married, then you are going to need to gain some tools to help you overcome these problems. It would be best if you will find a marriage counselor to help you overcome these problems.

Find a good marriage counselor and go together, but DO go alone if he won't. It will take some work and some time. Since you have not been married for very long, this may be a good step in the right direction for your future.

Best wishes!

- Response by WAPenPal, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Marriage is hard work and it is give and take. Don't wait on him hand and foot, ask him to help you with some of the chores. Tell him you need help and let him do some of those things for himself. You can't be a super mom too.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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Consider counseling before divorce. With bad economy, divorce is not the best option. Maybe he does not know his blind spots and the counseling can help show him what to do better.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Portland, Farming

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If you are asking this question the emotional divorce is already beginning...it is just a matter of time for the legal stuff to happen.

- Response by angllhugnu2, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Administrative

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So sorry to hear this. Is your son his son too? It is so sad either way that if you are in a relationship, married or otherwise, that your child is not being loved by both parties. This alone could be a deal breaker for me. But, I would start first with some counseling.

- Response by jadealso1, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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I am curious. What happened with your marriage? What did you decide?

- Response by mariacrate24, Female, 29-35

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