Thank you for your many years of support. We want to share the news with you that after much consideration, will cease operations in its present format on October 15th. We appreciate your meaningful contributions over the years.
Back to Active Questions

Active Questions

Why does sex ruin friendships?
Sex & Intimacy / 5:55 PM - Wednesday October 21, 2009

Why does sex ruin friendships?

When you are friends with someone of the opposite, it's naturally to start having feelings for that person. but once you act on those feelings and the two of you have sex, the friendship is over.

You can't go back to just being friends. You can try but for all practical purposes, the friendship is over. You can try becoming a couple but good luck with that, friends who date don't last long.

- Asked by douglas1982, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Sacramento

Read more about the Rating System

Something about those memories just ruins everything. You can be a friend or you can be a lover. But you cant be both for some reason.

I've never experienced losing a lover, but my ex boyfriends never want to stay friends. I wouldnt mind but they do for some reason. I think its stupid.

- Response by kagurahime, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

Rating Received:

News flash: Sex causes a hormonal change in women. These changes cause an increase in the attachment hormones. After you have had sex with a woman, she is hormonally bonded to you. That is why sex with FB, FWB and Friends simply fails...

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

I disagree with your statement that friends who date don't last long. Your ideal partner ought to be someone you can call your best friend. I do agree once a line is crossed it can make friendship awkward & difficult if one or both of them has second thoughts about what has happened between them & doesn't want to be in a couple with the person. Or if one partner wants it more than the other.

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:

Sometimes the chemistry between 2 people is part/most of the attraction in the first place of a friendship.... IF it gets taken to the next level, it is possible the chemistry could be diminished and therefore the friendship suffers.

On the otherhand, one person could start to develop feelings, which are not returned and has damaging effects.

And again, IF the sex happens.....and the two of you are combatible....... and start dating, you should be sure that having sex before a 'relationship' is determined and could possibly have damaging effects as well.

I really wish it did not ruin friendships, as I lost a good friend of mine 5 years ago.......... was like a best friend, we started having casual sex..... he wanted to take it further, I didnt........ and it still wont talk to me! :(

- Response by overthinker101, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Toronto, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

it doesn't necessarily ruin a friendship. it might in some ways make it stronger.

- Response by divadancer2, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

Rating Received:

But wouldn't it be nice to just have a friend who likes
to have sex with you on an accasion?

Oh, here I go again. Someone asked me why I always answered
a question with a question...I said.."Why shouldn't I"? Lol..


- Response by don07, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Las Vegas, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

You could try watching some SEINFELD reruns and see if that helps!

- Response by ocelotspot, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:

it doesn't for me.
what about the FRIENDSHIP does it ruin?

I can still be friends with someone i've banged and stopped banging. no problem... but I've been a huge huge slut in the past and sex doesn't mean a whole lot...

Maybe you should put LESS MEANING in the sex and just continue the friendship??
forget you had sex with them. just FORGET. its that easy.

- Response by discotrash, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Las Vegas, Other Profession

Rating Received:

the attachment hormone, Oxytocin lasts UP TO 3 days in females so the previous answer is not plausible..
After 3 days after sex, you can JUST be friends again.

- Response by discotrash, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Las Vegas, Other Profession

Rating Received: