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What does "We need to talk" mean?
Dating / 7:36 PM - Friday October 16, 2009

What does "We need to talk" mean?

My GF and I have been dating for about 6 months. She recently texted me "We need to talk." What does "We need to talk" mean? Answers from both ladies and guys, please.

Update: October 18, 2009.
Oh, for unlimited STARS! Thank you all for your responses. Many of those who rec'd twos should have been stars. I have only once had a conversation that started with "We need to talk" be a positive thing (and that was because the people were afraid of me suing them). Usually it means "You're in freakin' shit!" as was pointed out. I agree, the phrase itself should be banned! In this particular instance I think graziella had the closest to the outcome: My GF had a life-saving and -changing event happen last year and as a result is facing a different future than she ever imagined for herself. Faced with more challenges she's been feeling overwhelmed by her current circumstances and a recent relatively minor illness brought that into focus. I, like my GF, have received the Gift of Life (different circumstances) of a heart transplant but have had over 5 years to adjust to the "new" me. While a *miracle*, still, there are changes to one's hopes and dreams that come along with it. This is mostly what she wanted to talk about but didn't have it solidified enough in her mind to communicate it effectively and therefor used the dreaded "We need to talk" phrase. Again thank you for your responses and well wishes. It has turned out well. . . so far! ;-) To anyone who hasn't already registered to be an organ donor, please consider it! If you have questions, please contact me privately.

- Asked by kiltedinseattle, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Seattle, Technical

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it means you're in freakin shit.

lol

- Response by girlpower08, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Sounds serious, when a girlfriend says we need to talk. She might be wanting to know where she stands in your relationship.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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One never knows until you actually talk. Personally, I would never use the phrase.

- Response by cubbiegal, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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Uh... Not good. Brace yourself. I only use it when I'm gonna dump someone. Or maybe if he screwed up really badly.

- Response by bliss0392, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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It doesn't sound good. She may be upset about something. Hopefully it is something easily fixed.

- Response by hoppyish, An Engaged Girl, Female, 29-35, New York, Law Enforcement

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It means one of the following, 1. She's pregnant. 2. she is leaving you. or 3. she found out about your other babe.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Traslation: "it sucks to be you"

sorry dude.

- Response by leewiser, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, St.Louis

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She's either pregnant.. Or shes breaking up with you.

- Response by gbanga, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Hospitality

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Well she wants to know "where your relationship is going? moving in, marriage, etc.....Or she wants to break up. There you go.

- Response by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

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It means she's not happy about something you've done, or haven't done, or she's just not happy with the way things are going in general. Your best bet is to just listen, then take some time to think things over.....just don't stonewall. All us females get a bee in our bonnet sometimes.

- Response by snowbelle, A Cool Mom, Female, 56-65, Atlanta, Medical / Dental

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her tire is flat and she's about to change it out and go get a new one.

- Response by justme38271, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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It can mean anything really, depending on what she sees as being important and what she feels needs to be 'discussed'...when I hear my man say things like this, I usually take it to mean that there is a decision that needs to be made that will affect one or both of us and we need to talk about how we are going to work things out or decide what to do...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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In my experience, it rarely means anything other than, "I need to yell at you about something."

- Response by tomtomcat, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, New York, Teaching

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It means she needs to talk to U. she could be making a decision about something important and needs your input or letting u know something. U wont know until u talk will u?.

- Response by berri, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, New South Wales, Who Cares?

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It means you need to listen. Good luck. Chin up. Smiles. :)

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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The "we need to talk" usually means that she's considering about breaking up with you. It's hardly anything good. Presumeably, you two usually talk daily. When she makes a date to "talk" it means that she has something very important to tell you. How's her health? Was she involved in a longer term relationship before she met you? Were they in love? He could be coming back into her life. My advice is to play it cool and ask to meet her as soon as possible.


- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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It means man up. Play time is over. Conclusion: I got sick of you and I am leaving OR commit now or I will trash you,

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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It's something serious that she needs to say to you. She wants your undivided attention. When someone says "We need to talk", it's usually not good news. It sounds like she's trying to prepare you for something that you don't want to hear.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Usually that means she has reached an emotional crossroads and needs to share her heart with you. Simply listen to the whole thing and try your best to hear what she has to say and try not to take it personally. Either she wants more or she wants less, that's basically what it boils down to.

- Response by graziella, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Artist / Musician / Writer

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That phrase should be banned, especially if the person is just going to make you WAIT to hear what you "need to talk" about. That's pure torture.

- Response by abitspoiled, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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it is usually the kiss of death for men. it either means she wants to talk about u all going to the next level or she wants to talk about breaking up.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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nothing good.

- Response by mumone1, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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"We need to talk" to me, means you need to listen to me on a matter where you probably have only heard me. I use it all the time when my man only hears me but doesn't listen. Sometimes it can be serious and sometimes it can be some silly shit.

- Response by bearly47, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Dude, its usually NOT good news. I wish you the best!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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WE need to talk means...SHE needs to talk of course. It means your in TROUBLE for SOME reason...real or Imagined..usually it's the latter with most women!

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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This has become exciting, Will you please put us out of our misery and tell us how it turned out

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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