My boyfriends doesn't know if I'm "the one" after being together for almost 5 years
My boyfriend told me last night that he's been having the lingering question on-and-off whether I'm "the one" and if this relationship is the right fit.
We're both 23. I'm graduating from grad school next May and he's already working full-time in a job he kinda likes. We went to the same school and have lived at least 5 min away while going to undergrad during our first 3 years together. I moved across the country and we've been doing long-distance for the past 1.25 years. I'm thinking of moving back home to be closer to him and family, and that's what prompted this conversation.
My side of the story: Of course I've had doubts. I had boyfriends before him and the longest relationship before him as 1.5 years. I'm wholeheartedly in love with him. I know that he's the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. That didn't just happen over night, nor was it always the case for me. But after thinking about what I want after I graduate, I know that I want him in my future.
It's understandable that he's having doubts. I'm his first girlfriend (not even in high school), and he has no one to compare me and our relationship to. He's wondering if this the best fit or if there's something better out there. He says that he feels like something is missing. He believes in "big love" and thinks that the right relationship would be easier and he would "know" that it's right for him. He didn't have any doubts during the beginning of our relationship and is stressed that he's having doubts now. He doesn't want to continue the relationship if he doesn't feel like it's going to last. But I don't see what the problem is: we love each other, we have fun together, we're best friends, we're incredibly attracted to each other, we have great sex. What more is there? I feel like he's just being idealistic and naive about relationships and love. I don't know what to do.
note: he is not interested in anyone else (i've ruled that out already).
- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Student