After two years, he's not ready for a serious relationship?!?!
So.. it's been two years. And now he's telling me that he loves me A LOT, and he hopes that I'm the girl he ends up marrying in the end. But he's not ready for the end to begin yet. We've been dating since college started....neither of us has slept with anyone else. We are each others firsts. I can see where he's coming from, but isn't it so much more meaningful to have shared that part of yourself with only one person your entire life?
I just don't understand...I really don't. He knows this is risking losing me.
Anyways when he told me, I broke down. I'm going through a lot in my life right now with my family. I told him I can't take this anymore, losing everything, and I just couldn't help but cry and cry. He said he wouldn't leave (were an hour apart) until I stopped crying. He said that he realizes he'sbeing selfish right now and that we can discuss this when things are better for me. I said "well, what if that's a year from now" and he said "well then we'll discuss it a year from now" .... I'm scared of losing him. so we're "together" right now but I don't know what's gonna happen... its like we hit a pause button. I really hope his feelings change and he realizes that there isn't a point in risking what we have right now.... But How do I do make that happen?
Advice???? Please don't be mean - I really am emotionally damaged right now.
Update: October 12, 2009.
I'm not asking him to marry me right now! He says that no matter what we both say or do, because of our history and everything we've been through, we will always have a serious relationship. He says he's not ready to commit to that, yet he loves me deeply enough to stay with me until I was "okay" ...he was making plans to stay the week with me even though he has tests this week.
I'm so confused. I don't want to lose him and I know he's being stupid. I just don't know how to get him out of this phase of being "not ready" ... it's just really random and he's always talked about how he wants me in his life for a long time. He says he thinks it's better if we spend time apart now, because it'll give us a better chance of working out in the future.what kind of BS logic is that??????????? he's wanting to end it... but we put this conversation on hold because of me....
- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25