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Why would a woman who gets a divorce even want to keep her Former Husbands name?
Married Life / 6:08 PM - Wednesday October 07, 2009

Why would a woman who gets a divorce even want to keep her Former Husbands name?

I know somebody who has been divorced and remarried for over 30 years. His X wife who never remarried because she is a man hater has always kept his name.

Many years ago she was engaged and her intention was to due one of those hyphenated names which would include her divorced name.

If I was a woman and got a divorce I would change my name back.


- Asked by usarmy24id, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Celebrity

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I had three reasons to keep my ex's name, two are "valid" and the last is just ridiculous -

1) the hassle (it was my 2nd time getting a new name & would be the 4th time I went through the process of changing it at the banks & grocery store savings clubs to the IRS & legal papers to magazine subscriptions and junk mail)

2) I'd had the name too long & my professional life was built on it - all my licenses, advertising, etc

3) I wanted to be reminded of the biggest mistake I'd made so far in my life on a daily basis by signing that name over & over again

The good news is that its been a few years since we divorced & I stopped being angry a long time ago. And I'm finally ready to grow up and make the effort...plus it's time to renew my passport and I'd be stuck looking at that same name for another ten years if I don't take care of it soon!!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I kept my married name because I had it for more years than my maiden name, I was established professionally under my married name, and I didn't want a different last name than my two sons.

I think these are all very valid reasons.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Woops! Sorry. I meant to answer her question!

As for keeping the last name, I think a lot of women want to have the same last name as their children. Plus, after a 20 year marriage, people get used to the name and identify with it, changing it might make them feel like the past existence of marriage wasn't just erased.

In m field, the name is very important, so if I had my husbands name on papers, I wouldn't change back. I kept my maiden name for publications though, as I'd already established myself in the field by the time we married.

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Because its a pain in the ass to get everything switched from what I have heard.

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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there are many legal reasons to keep his name. Also, think of all the time and expense it would be to change your driver's license, bills, car title, any stocks or bonds, etc-etc. Many women just say screw it, and keep the name.

- Response by cosmicdog0, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Denver, Science / Engineering

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I kept mine to ahve the same name as my kids.I would not want to incorporate it into my new marriage.Why would she.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I would take my maiden name back as soon as the papers were signed...At least it's my own name.

- Response by sweetnovember, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Executive

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Some women feel they've earned that name. Personally I'm want to get rid of it and I'm not even divorced yet and I never let anyone call me by my last names as in Ms or Mrs....... That gets met with a stink eye of massive proportions.

- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Well I guess if a woman has been married for a number of years and gets divorced probably so use to it, that why bother to change it. Plus it costs to have all your ID changed.

- Response by MaryAnne, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Regina, Managerial

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speaking personally, it is a ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS and lots of bureaucratic bullshit to change you name when you do get married. after the divorce, you will have to go through the same bureaucratic bullshit to change it back. this is why women should never denounce their maiden name in the name of marriage. one more point, if you have childeren that have the divorced father's name, it makes things easier when having to deal with whether or not you are their parent.

- Response by divadancer2, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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Never try to understand the insane,lest you become one of them.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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I know a couple, one of my own, lol, that kept it for professional reasons - that was the name they had used in developing their reputation in their work field.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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I'm divorced & I still have my ex's name. I agree with utahmom, I established my family & my career with this name. I also have 2 children who have the last name & I want our names to be the same.
Not to mention all the hassle it is to change everything back.

I grew up with a hyphenated last name. My mom kept her maiden name & all of us kids got hyphenated last names. I actually used to joke with my ex-husband that I only married him so I could finally have just 1 last name.

If I ever marry again, I would take my husbands name.

- Response by fbomb101, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Boston, Managerial

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Some women keep the name if they have children by the man.,,to keep down confusion. But i do know that in some cases women will carry the name becasue of the power or the signifigance the name holds.i know a woman whose husband has a very successful business and they are divorced and she still uses his name but they also have children together.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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I've always wondered about that too. I know lots of divorced women who still have their husband's name. Some have even remarried, but kept the first husband's name (or hypenated it).

If it was me, I would change my name back. I don't understand why you wouldn't.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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well my question is why would a woman change her name in the 1st place yes shes geting married but she already has a last name why does she need another one whats wrong w/ her?

- Response by mindgames, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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if he was a real azzho to her, she probably will change her name back*

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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The primary reason most women keep their ex-husbands name is because kids are involved; I would never want to have a different last name than my children.

- Response by boo7357, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Sometimes it's easier to keep the name than go through all the trouble changing everything.

- Response by trhjr1, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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I kept my ex's name after my divorce because it was a common name in New York City, and my maiden name was not so common. I had some semblance of anonymity.

- Response by myrtletyrtle, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I don't understand that either. That would be the first thing I'd change!

- Response by marycherry, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Fitness

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I'm sure there are alot of reasons. They could still hold an attachment to their former spouse or it could be convienent. Then again they just might not want to go through the hassle of changing it again. Kids might have something to do with it as well.


- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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I guess there is own case that you may have forgotten. We all know Tina Turner. Right? Her last name is her married name. She went through divorce court to keep it. IT wasn't about because she has kids. She was in showbiz. The world knew her as Tina Turner. So because of her occupation, she fought to keep it.

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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I still have my ex's last name because my state want's $300 to change it. I don't have $300 laying around, so I'll wait until I get remarried. It wasn't done in the divorce because the divorce was drawn out forever and my lawyer was representing me virtually for free and at that point I only wanted the decree and nothing else. I figured I could change my name on my own, not counting on the fact that it would be so darned expensive.

- Response by mariposa555, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, New York

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This is a crazy spin on this question, but one that I experienced when my children's father and I divorced. Everything was so upheaved for them at that time...knowing that them and I still shared the same last name comforted them. Crazy how little minds think, but some things are very important to them.

- Response by uasked, A Career Woman, Female, 56-65, Veterinary

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yes of course. if they are getting a divorce. the husband is defintley not going to take her back if she is braking into his house and stealing his g/f things that`s crazy!

- Response by prettysoul21, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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You live in a world without grammar. Try some punctuation for goodness sake!

Honestly, what do you care what she calls herself?

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I think I would too.

I do know a woman that kept her husband's name post divorce...but then again her maiden name was LEACH...LOL.

She "leached" on to him and then stole his name when she ruined his life. This was my late husband's best friend and we both told him he should sue to get his name back. He never did.

- Response by msbrunette, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55

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When a lawyer friend told me that I could write a request to the judge to add to my divorce proceedings to change my name back to my maiden name I quickly jumped on getting that request statement together. This was after my ex had told me that he still would consider me as his (his property I guess), because I had his name........Boy was he surprised as hell! HA! HA!

- Response by jpm51, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Baltimore, Administrative

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perhaps she's too stingy to pay for the name change, or her lawyer is too stupid to tell her she can have it changed for free at the end of the divorce, or she has kids and wants the same name as them for a while.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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I think a lot of women do it for the kids' sake. that's the reason my sister does it but as soon as the second kid is 18 she's changing her name back.

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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I had to pay $250 in Ohio to resume my married name...I had to go to an atty and request a name change...plus a short wait to have it legalized...

I had been married almost 14 years and everyone professionally knew me as Mrs. Ahole.... Changing my name to Ms. Lovely was really great but what a hassle... All I.D. must be changed nearly simultaneously and Match !! This includes all banking,payroll,company security id,library cards,passports,credit cards,car titles,wills,utilities, mailing address name change rental agreements or deeds...

Next comes email screen names,business and professional which usually opens up the question regarding the name change... While a recent divorce is not a secret some of us do not want to go online at work and say.......... Re: Name chnage...
Ms. Lovely formerly known as Mrs. Ahole is indeed the same person and entity... There has been no personnel change in the
Blah blah blah leadership position...merely Ms. Lovely has just decided to kick Mr. Ahole to the curb....should there be any personnel or management changes we will be sure to inform you...Thanks for your consideration in this manner.

- Response by lady4u, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Cincinnati, Who Cares?

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I have no idea but lots of them do that

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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My wife kept her ex-husband's name because of the children. She wanted the same name as her kids. I wasn't too pleased but I could understand her reasons so, I went along with it. Sometimes she uses a hyohenated name other times she just uses her ex's name. As soon as the kids are gone she plans to use her new married name, my last name.

- Response by bigdog52, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Oklahoma City, Science / Engineering

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Changing to my married surname was effortless once I applied for a new ID. To be married for under 10 years and with no kids... the only reason I can think of is that it is one way of hanging on and making the new woman in his life,present and future jealous. After all, to people whom you JUST meet it makes absolutely no difference.It is an acknowledgement of not being a spinster(still know what that is?) and saying to the world"Hey somebody once wanted me enough to marry me!".In a word...INSECUTITY. Ursula Elaine,married 60 plus

- Response by urlla, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Cape Town

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Changing to my married surname was effortless once I applied for a new ID. To be married for under 10 years and with no kids... the only reason I can think of is that it is one way of hanging on and making the new woman in his life,present and future jealous. After all, to people whom you JUST meet it makes absolutely no difference.It is an acknowledgement of not being a spinster(still know what that is?) and saying to the world"Hey somebody once wanted me enough to marry me!".In a word...INSECUTITY. Ursula Elaine,married 60 plus

- Response by urlla, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Cape Town

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