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When He or She Won't Take NO! For an Answer...
Dating / 8:37 PM - Tuesday October 06, 2009

When He or She Won't Take NO! For an Answer...

Why is it that some people just won't accept when you say "no". It bugs me so much I want to write about it. An example that happened to me recently...

I meet this guy and he wants to take me out for lunch. Fine. We go to this Japanese restaurant he knows. No problem, I love Japanese food... a point. So we get there and he tries to get me to eat some raw fish eggs wrapped in Nori seaweed. I take one look at it and decide its disgusting. I don't like caviar so I know I won't like 500 fish eggs exploding in my mouth. I say no thank you. He says "aww come on, you'll love it."

Now those of you that know me from my year or two on this site, know I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do. So I say to dude while staring him right in the eye: "I SAID NO!" He says "you women always say no at first, but I don't take no for an answer and you ladies always change your mind!"

So I say "well I am not one of those weak minded women you are used to dealing with home boy. I said no, and no is what I meant. I will die and the answer will still be no. You need to listen to what I say and respect what I say, or this date is gonna be over before it even begins." (I left out part where I said M.F.) He backed down but I was so furious that I had to say "no!" 5 times and practically cuss the fool out to get him to respect what I wanted to put in MY MOUTH? WTF?

So anyway, I want to write about this behavior pattern which affects both men and women. I need to hear your stories about you saying "No!" to someone and they kept persisting, whining, begging, pressuring, nagging you trying to get you to give in.

Update: December 18, 2009.
Okay, here is the article I was motivated to write in frustration!! Remember to remove the spaces A'ology puts in. http://survivingdating. com/?p=1056

- Asked by msheartbeat, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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One guy actually asked me if no really means no. I told him to look it up in the dictionary. My mother was very bad about this. She would try to push food or drink on you and when you said no she would keep trying until she got mad. Never saw the rationale in it. If a person doesn't want it that is no reflection on you.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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It bothers me too. I think people learn this when they learn that if they nag and bug their parents enough times, the parents will give in and give them what they wanted. It shows immaturity and lack of respect. As for his comment that "all women say no at first", I would be concerned.

- Response by sunset77, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Constantly. I'll use food as an example. I don't eat meat. A lot of people don't seem to "get it". They start telling me that humans need to eat animals, and there is nothing wrong with killing them for food.

Great. Cuz I have no problem killing animals for food (well no me personally killing them-lol). I just don't like meat. I haven't eaten it in twenty years. Do ya THINK anyone's gonna convince me to start now? I'm not sure why it bothers people so much. It's not like I complain because there's nothing for me to eat. I just make do.

It's very frustrating.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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I just had a situation with a girl who wanted me to do her hair. I helped her out by doing it for about free and then she wanted it for half price this time. I said no. She argued then said she would borrow the money. Then she decided to change the color, I was bending there. Then she wanted to bring her 3yr old with who is sick. I work at home. My son just got over being sick and home from school for a week. When i said it wouldn't be a good idea being she can't watch her while she's getting her hair done and she's sick. She starts arguing that its ok her daughter just has bronchitis and she is a good girl. I said no and then told her to go somewhere else. I feel bad cuz I'm such a ppl pleaser but good about setting healthy boundaries.

- Response by An Engaged Girl, Female, 46-55

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