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Friendship love vs romantic love
Dating / 1:39 PM - Tuesday October 06, 2009

Friendship love vs romantic love

I asked my fiance about this one day...she feels we have romantic love. I love her dearly...but sometimes I feel it's just friendship love. We only have sex every once in awhile...we're both probably too comfortable with each other.

I want to marry her but I feel that this is a consistent problem we have had for some time...but it wasn't like this in the beginning. I would like things ideally to be that way again but I would really accept any improvements. I just don't know how to make them happen. Any real recommendations?

- Asked by corsair77, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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I think in every relationship you need a bit of both.
That friendship love, and that's where you two will always be there for each other, the comfort, the support.
Then the romantic love, where you can be intimate with each other and passionate.
Ultimately it's up to the both of you to spark things up. You say you and your fiance only have sex once in a while. Try to double that. Try to have sex as much as possible and do different things with it. Make yourself irresistible to her and vice versa!
You also said she feels as if you two have romantic love, and you feel differently. Sitting down and talking about what you two want out of your relationship before you get married would be necessary. Whether you want both friend and romantic love, or one of the both.

- Response by mel01234, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Toronto, Medical / Dental

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You need to discuss it with her. Suggest that you are really looking forward to spending the rest of your life with her, but you really miss the physical and intimacy aspect of your love for her. Perhaps you are not initiating it? Perhaps she is not initiating it? If you were to initiate more - would she be more responsive? There really isn't eough info to answer the question... other than what I've already stated...

- Response by catdancing45, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Baltimore, Self-Employed

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Do something different to shake up your routine. It sounds as if you are in a rut and are kind of bored. Believe me, if you feel like this now and do nothing to fix it, it isn't going to get any better. It isn't something that will improbe over time and it's not going to get better once you are married.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Therapist

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If I read you right? "Friendship Love" means the two of you get on well, just not that often in the bedroom. Your idea of "Romantic Love" would not cut back on the way you feel about each other, she'd just show her affection physically more often.

If that's the case???? Then welcome to the club and learn to live with it. Love is 99% emotion with a woman and only 1% physical. She doesn't have a clue what sex has to do with romance when it comes to men, doesn't care, or at least is unable to comprehend it. Although it's not uncommon for one to love, sex, a man to death to catch him, that's just not in her to keep him. Better learn to find "love" in constant conversation, flowers, greeting cards, or a box of chocolate. The physical stuff you can take care of on your own from day to day in hopes she wont say "no" from time to time.

About all a guy can do is learn to love his woman her way 24/7 in the hope she'll allow him to love her his way a few minutes out of the month.

- Response by fluff47, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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Just talk to her and think back on the things that once drove her crazy about you when both of you first fell in love.

Give her a note saying she has a surprise waiting tonight and she should get into a sexy outfit and when she arrives home blind fold her. Have her lay down on a table where you can give her a nice sensual massage with relaxing music in the background.

After that you will win her over all over again.

Good luck!

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, New York, Administrative

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Has it ever occurred to you she wants to stop fornicating and get married?

- Response by yourcousinlre, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Baltimore, Medical / Dental

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I dont know! I am dating a guy now who is more of a friendship love. There really is no spark at all but I really like him and consider him as a possible husband. He really digs me as I do him but there is just not big romance and never has been. He is a nerdy white boy that would wear a pocket protector if they still sold them!

But everyone is telling me that he is what a marriage is like, that there is not a lot of drama unless it is created and this is better than the alternative. As far as finding more perhaps a vaca together could build a bit of excitement for a while.

- Response by vickyc3008, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Tell HER what you just told everybody on AO!!! Might as well not waste time if the romance is slipping away....

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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