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Why would someone just stop talking to you?
Friendship / 12:57 AM - Monday September 28, 2009

Why would someone just stop talking to you?

I work with a really nice person that just quit talking to me, tried one text and one FB message. Answers everything in "one" word comments at work. Should I just give up? We seemed to be good friends, don't know what happened?. Help?

- Asked by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

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Take it from me. I am a moody moody person. I define moody. I will love someone one day then get really wounded by some small thing that has to do with one thing. My weird mood. And no, I'm not crazed or whatever, I am just highly sensitive, highly imaginative, and in my youth, very attractive so no one bothered to correct my bad behavior. Now I just know not to act on some mood in a permanent way. If someone bothers me, I just politely ignore them until the mood passes. Be friendly to this person, but not overtly so. Just civil. Either this person's mood will pass and they will be normal again. Or they are worse then me and -crazy- so stay away!! ;)

- Response by nofreksho, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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Ask her about it. The sooner the problem comes out in the open, the easier it will be to fix it. And if it's not fixable, at least you'll know & won't waste your time wondering about it.

That happened to me, very suddenly, with a co-worker with whom I'd been friendly for a couple of years. I was completely baffled and I couldn't figure out why she'd become distant and cold for no reason. I wracked my brain trying to figure out if I'd done something to hurt or anger her, and I didn't think I did. It turned out that she had *completely* misinterpreted some things I'd done and said - which had NOTHING to do with her at all! - as "disrespecting" her. So instead of ASKING me about these things - which would have cleared up the misunderstanding - she just ASSUMED that I had intentionally been rude to her and she started giving me the cold shoulder. We never did patch up our friendship. I concluded that anyone so self-absorbed, that she would think something completely inoffensive, which wasn't even ABOUT her, was "disrespectful" to her, she was too sensitive, and more trouble than she was worth. I didn't want to spend my life walking on eggshells not to offend her. So I just left her alone after that.

I hope your situation turns out better than mine did.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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First off love your picture (Whiskers clan) anyway, people stop talking for several reasons. One they are mad at you or don't like you, two they are going threw some personal things and that is distancing them, or lastly they are one of those people with issues in their past that has made them wanderers. I wouldn't worry to much about it if you know you haven't done anything wrong. Simply ask, "have I upset you in any way?" and leave it at that. LEt them know hey I am here for you and then move on, people are strange and you dont want to bug or look like a stalker of anything.

- Response by tattletaleloudmouth, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Home Maker

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Any good reason why you cannot walk up to her and ask her in person? That would seem to be the best idea to me. Once and for all, face her and ask her what's up. The really sad thing is that all of this could be one big misunderstanding. She might not even be upset about anything. And, if she IS; you can fix it!

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Do not give up....

- Response by zeynabourain70, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Transportation

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take the hint!

- Response by demoman53, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Other Profession

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I'm having the same problem with a co-worker. This is the second time that she does this to me. Its very annoying. The first time she apologized to me and said that she shouldnt have treated me that way. She is acting very childish. The worst part is that we all sit in a small office together. It's to the point that I dont want to be alone with her because she just ignores me and if I ask her a question she is very short with me. I'm so sick of her. She makes it a point to be super nice to my other co-worker and anyone else that walks in. The first time it happened I just asked her if I did something and she said no. The weekend went buy and on Monday she was happy again. A few days later she apologized. Now it's happening again. However, this time I am just keeping to myself and ignoring her. I dont have time for this. I just dont want to work with her anymore. Her moods are too much and very unprofessional.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Any input is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,


- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles, Administrative

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I work in an open office and it's trial by fire with people. I'm not very social to begin with, but I am not fake nice. If you're nice to me I'm nice to you, but I keep it civil and short. I only speak to the people I need to, and leave everyone else alone. I trust noone and I get my job done and go home to my family. My reasoning is the less I know these people, and the less I let them in, the less they're apt to talk about me. If they do, they'd have to make something up, as I do not gossip and I cannot stand gossip, perhaps that's why I don't get along with most. That's all they do is backstab and talk sh*t about one another. I'm easily annoyed by chit chat anyway and I feel I don't like anyone enough to invest in them emotionally so I just do my job and don't talk. So if someone has a problem with me, it's their problem. I stopped caring long ago. My family is my source of happiness and we're successful and we live pretty comfortably so I assume that's a source of jealousy. I'm seen as aloof and detached, which is fine. I've never been a 'team player' and I'm here for one reason, to do my job. I don't hang out with anyone from my work and have no reason to. I'm not mean, I have nothing to say. So stop worrying about what so-and-so thinks or feels, because most of the time it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them and their insecurities. The less you worry about co-workers, the happier you'll be. I can't wait to be done with them once and for all.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, San Antonio

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I work in an open office and it's trial by fire with people. I'm not very social to begin with, but I am not fake nice. If you're nice to me I'm nice to you, but I keep it civil and short. I only speak to the people I need to, and leave everyone else alone. I trust noone and I get my job done and go home to my family. My reasoning is the less I know these people, and the less I let them in, the less they're apt to talk about me. If they do, they'd have to make something up, as I do not gossip and I cannot stand gossip, perhaps that's why I don't get along with most. That's all they do is backstab and talk sh*t about one another. I'm easily annoyed by chit chat anyway and I feel I don't like anyone enough to invest in them emotionally so I just do my job and don't talk. So if someone has a problem with me, it's their problem. I stopped caring long ago. My family is my source of happiness and we're successful and we live pretty comfortably so I assume that's a source of jealousy. I'm seen as aloof and detached, which is fine. I've never been a 'team player' and I'm here for one reason, to do my job. I don't hang out with anyone from my work and have no reason to. I'm not mean, I have nothing to say. So stop worrying about what so-and-so thinks or feels, because most of the time it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them and their insecurities. The less you worry about co-workers, the happier you'll be. I can't wait to be done with them once and for all.

- Response by twimom5, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, San Antonio

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