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Why do men cheat with less attractive women than their wives or gfs?
Dating / 1:36 PM - Saturday September 26, 2009

why do men cheat with less attractive women than their wives or gfs?

I have noticed men who have beautiful gf and wives cheat with ugly women why is that ?

- Asked by jayme454, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Medical / Dental

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Goes to show some men do not go for looks. And they get burned out on high maintaince women. also a homely woman is not as demanding . Makes him stand out in a crowd. when he's w/ goodlooking woman she gets all the attention.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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No one has to see a thing if the lights are off.

A cheater only thinks about their own needs at the moment.

Many are so egotistical, that they can't imagine being found out, let alone their spouse, s/o leaving them.

On the other hand, maybe the beautiful spouse, s/o is a shallow crazy person inside. And the less attractive mistress is beautiful inside.

No excuse for the cheater though...end one if you want to begin another. :/

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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they just want the excitement of someone different

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I know a few women that are spoiled, high maintenance, bitchy, and very much self centered and self absorbed. A lot of times guys will end up marrying such women and will do everything in their power to make the relationship work but then end up realizing that you know what ive done everything in my power and this woman is just driving me crazy and i just cant handle it anymore. You still love the woman to death, but for peace of mind and to let out that stress he finds himself seeking the comfort and affection from another woman. A lot of women don't realize how fussy and unbearable they get whenever they are stressed and on top of that are in horrible moods and always tired so they either never want to give it up or whenever they do it's like hurry up and get it over w/ im tired and have to wake up early. Well there's other women out there that will not have enough respect for you to stay clear. Women know that good men are hard to find, so if you mistreat yours don't expect him to stick around. After all you want someone that is going to adore and cherish you and treat you like a Queen, well don't you think your man wants the same love and respect from you? It's not about being pretty or ugly, you can be the prettiest girl on earth with the nastiest attitude and you will never be able to make a relationship work

- Response by A Father Figure, Male, 29-35, Dallas

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The "ugly" chick is obviously filling a need for that cheating man. It could be as simple as the thrill of screwing someone they're not married to - or it could be she's providing some kind of emotional support he feels he's lacking.

Would a guy's cheating be better, IYO, if he did it with a hot chick?

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Beauty doesn't guarantee happiness or lasting compatibility. They might be turned on by other qualties the other women have to offer. Or they might just be dogs who will cheat with anyone.


- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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easy answer is that the person he's cheat with is fulfulling the needs his gf or wife isn't

- Response by tleeb, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Dallas, Other Profession

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I guess is because only the ugly women are desperate enough to go after a guy already in a relationship?

- Response by justme38271, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Consulting

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Maybe the gf or wife who thinks she is so hot is taking her husband for granted and the so-called "ugly" girl actually puts the effort in to making him happy. There is an old saying... I don't care how hot she is...somewhere there is a guy who is tired of her crap...

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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I feel bueaty is in the eye of the beholder. Men can see a person for who they really are most of the time. I mean men don't notice if you have on out dated shoes, or if your rocking the latest designer clothing, or how much time you spent at the hair stylist to get you hair that way. Alls they care about is if you are bueatiful to them and able to hold a nice conversation that they can relate too, an if they can make you laugh then you got them hooked. That's how an ugly women can easily walk away with a beautiful women's man. cause the beautiful women is not into catering to the mans needs she is out making sure she looks good. A man don't want all that just a woman to love hime for him and listen to his stupid jokes.

- Response by monique1, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Philadelphia, Other Profession

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Hello,In answer to your question i think that it's possibly due to the wife being beautiful,and receiving attention when she's out with the man,however if he's out with the girlfriend and like you say she's less attractive he rceives attention possibly,and also he's scared of losing his wife,as it's possible that due to her being very attractive,she'll be able to get any man she likes.The man is aware of this,and feels insecure therfore has an affair with a less attractive woman.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, London, Medical / Dental

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because the ugly women have low-self esteem

- Response by bibeesinglegirl, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 22-25

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It's an "ego trip" for them. That's all.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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because it's not about their wife or their girlfriend. it's about their selfish need. so for that reason the woman they cheat with doesn't have to look like or better then their s/o

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2. The guy is with the other woman because of the way She makes him feel...It goes beyond the exterior.

From personal experience, my Dad cheated on my Mom for years, and married the "other woman", back in 1990. They are still married, and seem alot more compatable than my Mom and Dad ever were.
And YES.........my Dad's wife is in no way more attractive than my Mom!
My Mom is stunning, always has been.

- Response by gnbtwo, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Probably because they're SO sick of dealing with the whining, complaining, never happy, demanding, bitchy attitude of the attractive princess that they just want to more average looking down to earth women to have instead.

Having dated some very hot women I can well understand where he's coming from. Sure you have to have some attraction, but I'm more attracted on many levels to the girls that are you 7.5 to 8.5 than the 9-10 who are mostly good for one thing..maybe two if they can cook.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Maybe she is nice and funny.

- Response by atticus, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Atlanta, Managerial

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Ugly, older and waaaayyyy dumber. I haven't a clue why.

- Response by socialbutterflye, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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Personality, Sex. Take your pick.

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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People cheat do so because, for whatever (usually irrational) reason, they do not feel complete within their relationship. This is probably because they're not complete themselves and often has nothing to do with the person they're cheating on. Likewise, it also seldom has much to do with who they're cheating WITH.

- Response by ryanthegreatarj, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Student

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I think that these women may not be 'pretty' to look at on the outside but there are qualities within them that make them 'beautiful' to the man that is attracted to them...just because they may not be 'beautiful' on the outside doesn't mean they don't 'give' something to the man who does cheat with them...maybe these men see something in them that no one else can see or takes the time to see...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Well, just because she's 'ugly' doesn't mean she's a lousy lay. Then there's just because she's 'ugly' doesn't mean she doesn't possess the degree of fun and companionship that he may be lacking in his wife. Of course, its the same with cheating wives and gfs. None of this excuses their behavior but mature adults are usually a little less driven by what's outside the shell of course I don't think mature adults cheat either but nobody is perfect, eh?! Peace. :)

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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My God. Everyone really has the right answers. May be many causes. Because its something different, because everything that is prohibited is attractive to people. Because they like the way the mistress treats him. Because the other women is filling out what the wife is not. Because they want an adventure. Because they get bored of their beautiful gf or wife. It is not an excuse but there are multiple reasons.



- Response by rosybarreto, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Teaching

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Sometimes they just want to know or remember what it feels like to be with a different woman.

- Response by jmiker714, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Therapist

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Why do people keep saying those women are probably beautiful on the inside rather than the outside? that is so retarted..how can they be beautiful if they take part of someone's betrayal? oh yeah, that really shows what a beautiful soul they have. Plus pretty women aren't always self center and all the crap these women say mostly is the excuse the men give them...so why don't they leave the gf or wife? why do they always come back asking for forgiveness?... I'm tired of hearing that stupid excuse. These women are ugly inside and out. I would never go out with a man that is still in a relationship I don't care what excuse he gives me and If I'm unhappy on a relationship, I leave the guy they're is no need for cheating and lies...oh btw I'm one of those atractive women who are "evil evil" so that makes me selfish, self-center and not good in bed...so stupid.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45

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He is less confident, he needs lots of women around him to approve that he is hot/cool whatever. But he is not confident enough means he is not attractive enough therefore he cheat women to love him to keep them be with him. A man with confident is attractive a good quality person doesn't need these tricks to attract women.

- Response by ag3734, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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most of the time because its easy and free.

- Response by hotair, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, New Orleans, Transportation

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There are a 'host' of many, many reasons why a man will cheat with a less attractive woman or women. It just all depends on the 'man' himself. Only he knows why he is doing what he is doing and is not thinking about getting caught because most cheaters are 'self-centered' only thinking about themselves anyway.

- Response by jpm51, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Baltimore, Administrative

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Well, a cheat is slime no matter how attractive or not the woman is that he's cheating with. But, it could be that the superficial reason why he chose to commit to an attractive woman, has come back to haunt him. And, now he wants someone that has more going on than just looks. While it is only right that this man would seek a divorce, most do not want to lose their finances. So, they'll just cheat, until the wife leaves him. Personally, attractive and not so attractive women have low self-esteem, will cheat with a married man, and can have something to offer or not. The level of attractiveness is not an indication of any of these things.

Sometimes, a man just cheats because that was the type of guy he was when he married for the superficial reasons. There are many possible reasons for why a man will cheat. I don't think it's about how attractive the woman is or isn't. And, most of those statements are usually made from the scorned women who have been cheated on to make themselves feel better, by comparing their looks to the other women. Why do they feel worse when the woman is less attractive? Because, they feel there was a deeper connection that they themselves did not fulfill with their husband. They realize they weren't more special because they were beautiful. The reality hits them that maybe the man only got with them because of how they looked or was built, and nothing more. Either way, I loath cheats. Just leave and be free to pursue anyone you want. IJS

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I've always wondered the same thing. I guess it kinda has to do with the way that person really feels about themself. Maybe they feel inferior because their wife/girlfriend is hotter than they are. No telling with cheaters.

- Response by zhzfs5, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28

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Cuz it was an easy piece of ass at the time.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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Because attraction to someone isn't based solely on physical appearance.

- Response by mysticsweetness, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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you'll get a variety of answers. Most people will read their own personal histories into their replies, but you'll never know why until you find out from the men themselves, and you'll never know if what you find out is the truth.

Most really pretty women have been told all of their lives that they are really pretty. Being with someone that is used to being worshiped gets old. Sometimes, for variety, they may want someone who isn't so full of herself.

But I wouldn't know. Its been some time since an attractive woman has looked at me twice.

- Response by dartagnan, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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First off....Cheating is Usually about 1 thing. Sex. If there isn't sex in the relationship, then eventually, Male or female, the other will start to look to fulfilling that want. Some will call it a need but I don't believe that. Nobody NEEDS sex. it's a want...a craving. But what about emotional cheating? Does he/she not listen to the other? Does he/she not pay attention? What about quality time? If the wants aren't met...physical or emotional...then the other will find it somewhere else. be it a friend, a lover, a stranger, etc...

- Response by justaguyinca, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Construction

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I've never cheated on my wife, but if I were, then I would have to go with a women less attractive then my wife.

Seriously, it's not like I would ever find someone more attractive then my wife, no matter how hard I looked.

- Response by sammann, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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I am shocked by the answers that say...she may be or intimate that she is beautiful on the inside so the outside doesn't matter. Please..the inside is the soul. Someone who cheat..commits adultery and their soul is not beautiful. It can be again..but now it's not. It speaks for itself that more often than not the man leave the so called other woman and returns to his wife. That speaks volumes about his character not his wife's high maintenance or lack of performance in bed.

Why does society put so much blame on the victim and not enough responsibility on the cheaters? Yes, let's blame the faithful wife. That is so wrong on so many levels.

- Response by serenity768, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Winnipeg

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test

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 29-35

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This is so unfair. Just because the wife/gf is beautiful alot of people seem to assume that he cheats because she's high maitenance and an overall pain in the ass but irrespective of what she or the mistress looks like cheating is wrong and is hurtful. Also, what type of woman, no matter what she looks like in comparison to the wife, would sleep with a married man? I came across this by accident because my partner slept with a woman who is less attractive than me. I'm not vain, I'm not high maintenance and I never gave him crap. I can't help the way God made me. I'm blessed but at the same time, and I'm being very honest, I couldn't understand why he did it and why with her. I thought we had a wonderful relationship and I was under the impression he was incredibly proud of me and who I was. I loved him more than anything else in this world, I was very good to him - he even says that himself but when I ask him why he did this he can't give me an answer. In a strange way I wanted her to be beautiful at least that way I could've sort of understood why he cheated on me with her, but what confused me even more was that she wasn't stunning, she didn't have a great figure, she was plane, boring, inside and out. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. I am utterly heartbroken by this and it has affected my life so much. He's no Brad Pitt but he clearly thinks he's the hottest thing since sliced bread. I think men cheat because they can. It doesn't matter which poor cow is sitting at home waiting for him, whether you're beautiful, rich, smart, slender, or poor, fat, ugly and thick,.. makes no difference. A man can have it all in a woman but if he has the urge to go screw it up then he will. It's a choice. Men can easily cheat. I'm sure there are other women that I dont even know about. I was a good woman to that man and yes I look good too but that's how I was made. This is how God made me, I can't change that but what I look like and what I am has absolutely nothing to do with his infidelity and is not a reason for him to cheat especially as I haven't even done anything wrong!! As for her, yes, I'll admit there's a part of me that makes me feel that she felt she had one over me because it was her way of sticking it to a girl like me. I'm probably her worse nightmare and perhaps stealing a man from someone like me boosted her ego. I'm the type of woman who walks into the room and gets stared at, she's the type of woman who'd look at me with daggers for being stared at. She is a terrible flirt and flatterer towards men - I've seen her in action with my own eyes - and it's pathetic that she needs to be so desperate in order to get a man's attention. She knew exactly who I was, and she knew I was his partner but that didn't stop her. I know he could've said no and I blame him more than I blame her nonetheless women tend to have more control in these situations and she should've walked away from him. He was SLEEPING with her as in more than once, he would get drunk out with the guys and clients and she was always there. I don't think he loved her and I know he feels terrible but nonetheless he risked a lot for the sake of someone who just really wasn't worth it and therefore for my question is why? Why would he do that? He won't talk to me about it. He hates having this conversation and refuses to talk about what happened. So I'm left here alone wondering why and how did he do this? I know deep down he's sorry, but to be honest, I'm just so disgusted at how low he has gone for the sake of what exactly? I never gave him crap, I looked after him as well as having my career, I am attractive and I'm not going to apologise for that, I loved him, I trusted him, I'm not crap in bed in fact he's the one with the problem in that department, I just don't understand any of it. I will never understand why men do this.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 29-35

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Well, I've experienced a similar thing. My husband and I were together for 11 years, married for 3. He is 10 years younger than me but it never seemed to matter. I would consider myself very attractive, intelligent but as well as working full time, was happy keeping the house clean and tidy, cooking homemade dinners every night and our sex life was great too. The problem was my two children from a previous marriage. He NEVER accepted them, and if he could have had his own way, always just wanted me to himself and not to have to share me in any form. Oh yes, and I helped nurse his father who had cancer as well! So what happened to our "nearly perfect relationship" He went on line, found someone who "ticked all the boxes" which meant she didn't have or wants kids, was financially independent (running her daddy's company), drives a flashy car and is 10 years younger than him. PROBLEM - She is so plain and putting it mildly has the backside the size of a rhinosorous!!! BTW I only weigh 126lbs and he used to say I was big!!!! She drinks like a fish, is loud and one year on, they are still together. I just don't get it!! I have been heatbroken, I gave my all to our relationship and his happiness was always the most important thing in my life. The only thing I couldn't do and would never do, is pretend my children (who are no longer children btw - 21 and 19, disappeared from our lives. I still miss him terribly and just can't understand how he can be so selfish. Oh yes and he's thoroughly miserable but can't stand being on his own!

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, London

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My ex cheated with a hideous brazilian woman. She lied about her age, was at least 7-8 years older than she claimed to be, but looked 15-20 years older than that. He said she was a good Christian woman. Really? What Christian woman has a married man move in with her? When I said that I loved him and wanted him here with me she said "You had your chance." Like how would she know? She did not care that she was breaking up a home. All she wanted was to become legal in the U.S. which didn't happen and he went through a ton of money between getting her illegal illegitimate 3 kids over here and all the money she made got sent back to her remaining relatives. Suffice it to say the relationship did not last and the money ran out too. He wasn't looking all that good to her then. The cheater got cheated. Don't always assume it is the wife or gf fault that he went straying. I was always home, never spent money, worked hard and did not deserve a cheating spouse. Men can get fooled and when they do, all I can say is "paybacks are hell."

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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My ex cheated with a hideous brazilian woman. She lied about her age, was at least 7-8 years older than she claimed to be, but looked 15-20 years older than that. He said she was a good Christian woman. Really? What Christian woman has a married man move in with her? When I said that I loved him and wanted him here with me she said "You had your chance." Like how would she know? She did not care that she was breaking up a home. All she wanted was to become legal in the U.S. which didn't happen and he went through a ton of money between getting her illegal illegitimate 3 kids over here and all the money she made got sent back to her remaining relatives. Suffice it to say the relationship did not last and the money ran out too. He wasn't looking all that good to her then. The cheater got cheated. Don't always assume it is the wife or gf fault that he went straying. I was always home, never spent money, worked hard and did not deserve a cheating spouse. Men can get fooled and when they do, all I can say is "paybacks are hell."

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I really dont understand it but like yopur answers. It is one of lifes many mystery's I guess. We are all assuming that the pretty chic is not nice, funny ect. What if she is a beautiful person and he still cheats? I have seen this too. I beleive he has issues and all I can say is Karma . Wait and see, life will hurt him just like you hurt the one you supposedly loved!

- Response by butterflytully, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Sydney

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Jayme, this is what I think. If a man does cheat with a woman that is less attractive then his wife he is obviously getting something more from the other woman than what his current girl is giving him in one area, or he thinks he deserves more of it. So, cheating is a means to get something more satisfying or fulfilling as well as a giving in to temptation.

I also thinks he feels less guilty.

The mindset is like this:

If you cheat with a woman way more hotter then your current girl you feel like you are adding insult to injury. Imagine if the gf finds or the wife. What does she say first? She says,"Was she prettier then me?"; "was she better in bed then me?". Women are more competitive then men. So, if the man says,"No, she wasn't," the woman says,"Why did you cheat on me then?" The man can then say,"well you were not doing..'X' or 'Y'." BUT...if he says,"Well, YES, she was," then there is nothing the man can say. The current GF will say,"oooh, well I guess nothing else I did was good enough for you, because she is WAS so much more sexy then I was.


"I not only 'cheated' on the girl but that girl was way 'hotter' then you. It is not just that you were not fulfilling me in other ways, but on a pure physical level, you were not sexy enough." You see? It is almost an insult to the girl you are cheating on. It is saying, my wife is 'hotter' then you but she is not satisfying me so you will have to do. The cheating affair hardly ever works out.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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You're talking about yourself aren't you?

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?

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I KNOW, right. Just look at Bill Clinton and what's her face. She was UGLY as HELL.

- Response by TheSshhmoe, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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i feel u on that one.

- Response by prettysoul21, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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