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How do I get my boyfriend to pay more attention to me?
Sex & Intimacy / 4:18 PM - Friday September 25, 2009

How do I get my boyfriend to pay more attention to me?

Okay, it's not like he completely ignores me, but sometimes I don't feel like he thinks I'm pretty enough. He's always looking at naked pictures of girls on porn sites, even when I'm in the other room with the door wide open taking a bath. I always have to start texting him before he text me, but it's the other way around when he text our roommate, and he'll text her back before he even bothers reading my text message. He tells her how great she looks when she's going out.. He doesnt tell me I'm pretty but maybe once every now and then. He told me that he needed to work on parts of our relationship, and that he would start asap, but nothing has happened. He's always so secretive. I didnt even know that he has a business trip to Louisville this tuesday. A mutual friend had to tell me. Yet, he tells them he's all excited about this trip and how much fun it's going to be.. When I try to talk to him about something I thought was interesting, he doesnt pay attention.. He'll cut me off and start talking about something that happend on TV. What am I supposed to do? I always feel insecure now.

- Asked by elf713, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Student

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You should tell him how you feel and if he doesn't listen, just leave. However, I think that it would be best for you to just leave him. He isn't fulfilling your needs, he is disrespectful, yall don't communicate and I find suspicious that he would texted your roommate before he texts you or give her more compliments. I think that you would be much better off and happier without him.

- Response by poeticlove08, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Student

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Stop feeling insecure. The only thing wrong with you is you haven't left this relationship yet. You're not happy. He's enjoying himself. You have expressed to him things that he needs to change that are hurting you. He says he will, but doesn't. He simply doesn't care. He sounds like he's cheating with someone else, or considering it. It sounds like he has the hots for his roommate. And, the lack of priority you have in his life or place of importance is ridiculous.

You don't have to settle for him. He looks at porn because he wants to. If he would prefer to fantasize about women who look like he'd like, let him go get one. But, don't compare yourself or doubt your own attractiveness by his desire to visually f*ck his fantasy images from a computer screen. Let this man go. Because, something is seriously wrong. He might be doing all of this so you will make the first move in leaving. Then, he won't feel as bad about his lying to you about wanting to make it work. Do him a favor and do just that, move on. If you stay and continue to accept this treatment, it's on you. Seriously!

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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maybe tell him if he does not start paying attention you will find someone who will

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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It sounds like he's already in the process of moving on and hasn't bothered to tell you yet. Texting your roommate but not you, not telling you about important trips, not listening to anything you say...maybe he's hoping you will catch on and dump his sorry ass so he won't have to tell you it's over. You shouldn't be feeling insecure though. It's not YOU that's sneaking around and refusing to invest in the relationship. The best thing to do would be to cut your losses and find someone who will appreciate you. Just my opinion.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Dump him and date a rich doctor.

- Response by sharonpeters, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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