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Do you think a woman should be treated like a queen in a relationship or should they meet halfway?
Dating / 5:48 PM - Friday September 18, 2009

Do you think a woman should be treated like a queen in a relationship or should they meet halfway?

Women say all the time "I want a man who spoils me, puts me on a pedestal. etc" Are men ok with this or do you guys feel cheated?

- Asked by ladyvog, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I think women want to be treated respectfully, with love and honor. We don't want a man to kiss our a$$, but to spoil her every now and then why not. I'm not ashamed to say that my husband spoils me. He does it of his own free will. I don't demand it of him although I have come to expect it. It would probably send up a red flag if all the sudden he stopped after all these years. Believe me in the end he's well taken care of.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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If you want a man to spoil you, you have to BE the WOMAN who spoils HIM.

Goes both ways. You wanna be a QUEEN? Then what about the KING?

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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We feel cheated when she does nothing to EARN this treatment.

There's also a catch: saying "I want a man who ____" leaves out one important element: the attraction chemistry.
Simply doing this crap for a woman isn't going to win a man any respect-- if anything, it'll make him look like a fool. If he can create attraction feelings with her, THEN he can get away with spoiling her.
The better way to put it would be, "I want the man I FEEL ATTRACTION for, to spoil me, put me on a pedestal, etc."

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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girl dont complain you should be happy i know i would!

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 26-28, Houston, Technical

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I think it should always be half way.
You get back what you put in.

- Response by npink22, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28

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Spoiled little bitches. People in a relationship should treat *each other* with love, kindness and respect, and do nice things for *each other.* The whole "pedestal" thing is SO 1890!

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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I did that for 21 years.



It didn't work.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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Anyone that has lived in "relationship" with another beyond the courtship phase can tell you... It takes two people giving 100% to even come close to having a successful relationship...

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Guadalajara, Self-Employed

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That is silly. No prima donnas.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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I think it sounds ridiculous for any woman to say this to any man. Why does a grown woman want to be spoiled? Why would you want to be put on a pedestal like you're a goddess? Remember, gods require worship, service, and are expected to be perfect. I wouldn't want to have to live up to that example, in order to be treated like I want. I think it's all about loving someone and thinking about someone else before you think of yourself. If the woman is more concerned with what pleases the man, and the man is more concerned with what pleases the woman, how can the relationship go wrong.

They'd both be giving over 100% to the other. I think that's what it is about. It isn't just about what you want to receive from a man or relationship. It's what you give. If both are concentrating on this, both will be happy. If one does not care and the other is always being treated like royalty, how does that work or benefit the relationship? All you have is a servant. Sorry, no thanks. I don't want a servant. I want a partner and to become as one within the aspects of the relationship. That way no one has the pressure or burden of making one happy. You'll both be giving to each other.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Halfway. I don't want to be put on some pedistal where everything is done for me and I get what ever I want when I want it. Then anything special he does has no meaning to it.

- Response by MaryAnne, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Regina, Managerial

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Some men actually like spoiling their girlfriends. My dad is like this. He treats his wife like a goddess and she's very appreciative of it. He just really loves making her happy.

- Response by greeneyedvegan, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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Yeah I want to be a billionaire too. Everyone should send me all their money so I can be a billionaire.

Seriously, everyone likes to be treated nicely and what some people consider nice is very different from what others think so generalizing this way is a little rough. I'd say that the only pampering I do with my gals are that I respect them as much as they respect me. I am sweet and do very nice things but it is never to a point where they lose respect for me. Y'see alot of guys believe that pampering a woman is the way to their heart but the reality is that they don;t know the difference between being a doormat or a man worthy of respect. It is not a fine line. It's difference that is a oceans-lengths wide.

- Response by 7zebras, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Financial / Banking

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Do women say that all the time? I've not personally known very many of them to, actually. And I wouldn't trust a guy who goes overboard with the royal treatment, either. He's probably putting on an act until he gets you 'hooked', and then he'll start to treat you extremely badly, just tossing out the occasional breadcrumb of 'queen' stuff from time to time to keep you nice and confused.

I think what most people in a relationship want is to be treated well and fairly and with attentive consideration. Both of them. And in a healthy relationship with plenty of mutual affection, chances are good that both of them *are* getting a little 'royal' treatment. If I were sitting back and getting it all, and had no particular desire to dish it out, too, then I'd know that I'm really not that interested in the guy, and would start to get irritated by all his attempts to "spoil" me.

- Response by pandorasfault, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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it depends if she deserves it or not

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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My husband takes really good care of me. In fact, every man I've ever been in a relationship with has pampered me. I guess I enjoy it and the guys like doing it for me. But, I also tend to pamper the guys I am with - I try to do things to make them feel special and loved, too.

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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In a word, No.

This is an extension of the "Princess/ Entitlement" culture that has been permeating through our society for too long. All too often I have seen were a women has been treated as if she is some special individual by their parents, usually in an attempt to compensate for a lack of real quality affection or love, and then they expect that from their signifcant other.

Men are meant to feel like they need to worship at the feet of the woman 24/7, and the women feel that it is beneath them to treat the man as anything less than servant. Men are not okay with this and most feel that we are losing our ground on being respected, which is critically important for us. Most men are not seeking to be treated as a King at all times. I think that men feel the lack of respect and an interdependence in a relationship is falling away and that the women who feel a need to be "The Queen" are never going to be satisfied.

If women and are seeking a full time Queen status they are going to go through life without find a man who will truly loves them.

- Response by jr47, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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