|Sex & Intimacy / 6:33 AM - Wednesday September 16, 2009|
What do I do? My husband does not sleep or have sex with me anymore.
We have been married nine years. He says he loves me. He has no time for an affair. We have unfufilling sex maybe once every two or three months and it is quick. He does not spend time with forplay. Just a little. Won't take pills either, they give him headaches. I usually end up going down on him and him on me and then it is another three months. He does not sleep with me, but sleeps in the spare room because I snore and wheeze. I have ashthma and we both smoke. (I know) He says I toss and turn and if it's not that it is his back. He says it's his fybromalagia or his depression meds or something that keeps him from sex and sleeping with me. It wasn't always this way, but over the last two years it is bad. If he does try to sleep with me he goes to the other bed when he thinks I'm asleep. He is affectionate when I complain, but it just goes back to a peck good bye in the morning. I've started dreaming of other men I don't know and some I do. I don't want to have an affair, but marrige like this is against my idea of love. We had counseling and I became the focus. I am bi-polar and steady. I work, ride a motorcycle, write and cook and clean and just don't think I am a bad woman or unloveable. What the hell has happended. I know something has got to give here. I am so lonely and starved for affection, being touched. Being cared for. I think he is depressed again. When he is around other people he lights up, but around me he is sullen and quiet. We have money problems yes, we live right at the edge. We won't loose our house or cars and jobs, but we are unable to save due to my medical bills. Oh it is such a long story. He is not mean to me and can be a lot of fun, but the fun and friendship are burried somewhere in him. I don't want to leave, I love him with all my heart, I just don't know what to do. I go on iwth my own stuff, I am affectionate to him and he does not turn away. But I get nothing back. I have talked aobut it to him till I can't say it anymore. I can't cry anymore. I am attractive even tho I weigh 160 at 5'5" and the last two years added the last 20 lbs. I eat to sooth me. I dont do drugs, drink booze. I quit that 18 years ago.I work full time and we don't have any kids togather and my son is 27 and lives away from us. I work full time and make good money. People, what the hell is going on? I am lost here and need some opinions. I am hurting and lonely. I ride on my bike alone, do a hundred miles and go home to nothing. it is empty there, no matter how many flowers I plant or rooms I decorate. I even asked him if he was gay. He said no. i asked if he was having an internet affair or any affair, was he in love or interested in someone else. No. Does anyone have any thoughts or similar situations? Solutions?
- Asked by Female, 46-55
sounds like he's either cheating or lost all love for you due to your bi-polar disorder. he's DEFINITELY a selfish lover, that's for sure.
the man has fibromyalgia, sex likely hurts for him and fibromyalgia is exhausting. Go to the doctors with him and try to find some solutions for this.