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Most important components to a healthy, lasting relationship.
Dating / 1:39 PM - Thursday September 03, 2009

Most important components to a healthy, lasting relationship.

I feel like my current relationship is unfortunately ending soon. I think for the most part that it is due to some degree of settling on both of our parts. My question is what do you think are the 'three' most important things to a lasting relationship?

Update: September 03, 2009.
Thanks to everyone that responded. You have sincerely opened my eyes to some key things my gf and I hadn't realized were the fibers that held together a successful relationship.

- Asked by jaygfla, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Managerial

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Communication, Honesty and Respect.
Although I do think sex is a very important part I realize that if something happened to my huband(where he couldn't have sex) I wouldn't stop loving him and wouldn't leave him.

- Response by screambeams, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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Attraction/Interest - Some level of physical and personality attraction that manifests in mutual lasting interest in the other person

(the relationship doesn't get lazy or neglectful)

Flexibility - Both people are willing to accept that things will change a little bit over time and be flexible to grow the relationship together instead of brittle or rigid on many issues.

(you realize that the other person is always changing and growing, but will keep certain core values, and you respect them and their ability to improve and you grow with them)

Integrity/Maturity - Both people build trust whenever possible and admit mistakes when they happen. Both people are willing to admit when they are wrong, or show appreciation for the other person. They see it as a team victory when their partner has a good suggestion or idea, where both people contribute to success without competing to see who had the idea first or whatnot.

(for example if my girlfriend is good at organizing things and I'm not, I back off and let her take the lead on it instead of taking it as a something to get defensive over)


These seem to be very common threads in therapy or relationship books and I'd say they are true from my own experience.

- Response by wp2007, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Communication, respect and supporting your mate's dreams.

- Response by unpredictable45, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Respect
Communication
Compatability

- Response by lilacblue, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Compatability
Good sex
and respect

- Response by valannetine, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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trust, patience and unconditional love

- Response by taratara, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Philadelphia, Financial / Banking

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- Similar core values

- Effective communication

- Compromise

- Response by steve67, A Rebel, Male, Who Cares?

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Trust
Respect
Honesty

- Response by vger12, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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1. Both people are already emotionally sane, compassionate, happy, function in their personal lives.
2. Both people are a good influence on each others lives, they encourage and inspire each other to be better rather than be lazy and complacent.
3. There are both of about equal value on the dating market and neither could get AND keep a partner that was much better.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Communication, trust, respect.

- Response by tealr0se, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35

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Trust. Without that, nothing else matters.

Communication. I need to know how she feels. And besides that, we gotta be able to talk as friends as well as lovers.

Honesty. People sometimes feel the need to shun away from the truth just because they wanna prevent hurt feelings, when that is the fastest way to lose another key ingredient of a relationship.... "Respect". Be upfront with your partner. Sometimes the truth hurts, but I'd rather have shit on the table than sweep shit under the rug.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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*laughter* (have fun with each other, being able to laugh with each other and at yourself)
*communication* (trust and respect go a long way in this)
*sex* (all physical affection especially kissing incl)

- Response by robyn76, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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fun
honesty
sex/attraction

- Response by greeneyedbeauty88, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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#1 choose the right person for the right reason

#2 Remember the romance

#3 Remember the friendship

- Response by playhouse933, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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