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My dad called me and said "your a stupid cu*t, I hate you more than your mom, f*ck off and die".
Family & Parenting / 8:24 PM - Wednesday September 02, 2009

My dad called me and said "your a stupid cu*t, I hate you more than your mom, f*ck off and die".

Then he hung up. I feel so upset right now, I mean it's not the first time he has said something like this but it just hurts so much and I don't know why.

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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It hurts because anything that comes from people who are SUPPOSED to love us usually hurts--we expect love even if our expectations are irrational because of past experience, so we are often hurt every time.

I need you to do something: Block his phone number. Do not take calls from him. Call the police if he appears on your premises. I mean it--treat this animal like any other abusive animal that you may have mistakenly come in contact with (birth to a particular pair of parents IS a situation that sometimes forces people to mistakenly come in contact with violent, toxic people).

Keep this in mind: NOTHING that you could have said merited that sort of statement from a parent. Even if you were a virtual daughter of King Lear, you wouldn't deserve that sort of garbage. And unless you threw him out of his own house and fired his entire beloved staff of wait servants, and took away his personal bank account, you do not even deserve what was coming to the fabled bad daughters of King Lear. Do not let any perpetually single (no one wants to live with him) idiot tell you otherwise--there's some on this site and they basically get on here to abuse random women verbally on the internet because they can't get women to stay around them in person.

((hugs)) Email me if you want to talk. I'm so sorry this happened to you. But remember we don't choose our parents--we can't choose mensches and so many people get such bad deals in this department.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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Of course it hurts..that is a very mean/horrible thing to say to anyone, but especially to your own daughter. He might be upset with your Mother for 'whatever' reason but, that doesn't excuse him by a long shot. Please try not to let it get you down too much! You are none of those things and I'm sure your Mother isn't either.. I'm really sorry! Take care..

- Response by ddn1958, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I'm soo sorry your father said that...Those words should never come out of a "Dad's" mouth. As you said this is not the first time he's spoken to you that way, obviously he has some serious issues. Just rememeber it's him not you, it won't take the hurt away but just keep reminding yourself of that
Good Luck

- Response by almostcoolmom4, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

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I'm sorry that your dad is so incredibly immature. Was he drunk? High? Not that that's an excuse. I bet he will REALLY regret what he said later on. In the meantime, cease all contact with him. Don't call him back to call him names. Just be classy and move on with your life and maybe he will call back to apologize. And it would have to be a HELL of an apology for me personally to ever listen to what he had to say after a tirade like that. Remember that this isn't YOUR fault. It isn't your fault that he is immature and has communication issues.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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It hurts cause it's your dad that said it. NO one deserves to be talked to or treated like this....try to stay away from him and live your live to know better....YOU ARE MUCH MORE THAN THAT...CHIN UP...IGNORE THE HARSH WORDS.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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He's a dysfunctional train wreck and if I could apologize and fix it I would.
Now before you give him the power to make you feel sad. stop!! and realize he does not know what he is speaking of. He feels so insignificant, lots of failures that' he's never owned up to. He "ego's up" by calling you names. distance your self and try to build some self esteem. b/c he is lying to you. hugs

- Response by dreamspinner, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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Sounds like he is comparing you to your mom. Is he on drugs or an alcoholic?? Something must be going on. If he talks to you like this I would not take his call. You do not need to take such abuse.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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If alchohol or meds are involved, it is those that you heard....

If not, am not sure why a parent would say such things.....are he and your Mom together??

Has he lost his job??

SOmetimes adults act out when they are overwhelmed.....but he has no excuse to say what he said, regardless.

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Your father is a prick. I wouldn't talk to him anymore. No one deserves that kind of abuse.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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He sounds like he is an addict or has some kind of mental/emotional problem, which is not your fault.

- Response by daffodils2008, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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I'm sorry you have to deal with that. He sounds like he has some serious issues. From now on I would keep my distance from him and not take his calls.

To greenwind...doesn't matter how the conversation started, you DON'T speak to your children that way.

- Response by ajeepgirl67, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Oh shit...that's horrible.There's not much you can do.I know what owuld make you feel good:yell and bitch at your dad for what he said bu that owuld be a foolish thing to do.Just know that the problem rests with him and has nothing to do with you...most probably that is.

- Response by listentome27, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Dallas

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You don't owe him anything. He has no rights. Remove him from your life.
My boyfriend haven't talked to his father in over three years, and doesn't want to either. Nothing good comes from it he says. I think that is completely ok. If nothing good comes from it, don't do it.

- Response by klaxometro, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Does your Dad always do this? How is he towards you other times? Maybe he's bipolar. I'm so sorry he hurt you.

- Response by cdmom1971, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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parents should not do that to their kids that is why

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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So I have a sister I didn't know about, since your obviously describing my dad, he said about that to me and my sisters nearly every day.

- Response by A Couch Potato, Male, 22-25, Student

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I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope you know that your dad, for some reason, is picking on you because of something that may be bothering him and he doesn't know how to address the 'issue' in a mature, rational way...don't let the words he's said hurt you because it seems that he was only reaching out to do exactly that and by 'allowing' him to hurt you, you are giving him control and he doesn't deserve it...believe me, I had a very abusive dad and he beat me, my 7 brothers and sisters and my mom on a regular basis...mind you, he always claimed that he got so drunk that he blacked out and didn't 'remember' and of course, my mother would forgive him and it would happen again...I grew up in a very abusive and volatile place but you know what? I also learned how to love fully and love unconditionally afterwards because when my dad finally stopped drinking, our family life got way better and we were finally able to 'see' him for who he truly was...the thing you have to remember right now is that your dad is going through something right now and doesn't know how to talk about it in a rational way and you need to understand that the words he says are 'his' issues and not can't control how he is going to act but you can control how you react because it seems that he does things like this to see what your reaction will be...if you choose to, you don't have to see him until you 'want' to and even then, you need to let him know that if he wants to be in your life, he needs to treat you with respect...if he's not willing to, it might be time for you to end communication with him until you feel like you can deal with his behaviours...I wish you the best and hope you realize that this is 'his' shit to deal with, not yours...take care...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Whoa cold stuff. I can sure understand how that can really traumatize you. Obviously the man is quite unbalanced. I am sure that is why your mom and dad are no longer married.

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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Have a caller ID. Don't ever pick up your phone when he calls

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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maybe he has a lot of problems in his life idk but that is mean like dont take it out on ur family

- Response by kcbm13, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, San Francisco

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I have to wonder what you did or said to him. That doesn't sound like the start of a conversation.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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it was the wrong number...that was nancy pelosi's father...

- Response by kramer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Behavior like that doesn't come from a vacuum. Perhaps he divorced years ago, lived in poverty to support your contempt filled mom keeping you away from him and for years you have been spewing back the hatred your mom has taught you to show him while still demanding money. That might explain it.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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I call *fake* on this post.

- Response by kypevans, A Career Woman, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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