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When is the age difference too much?
Dating / 10:43 AM - Saturday August 29, 2009

When is the age difference too much?

I am a 38 year old never married, no children, single male. I own my own business which thankfully is very successful. I have recntly met a 25 yr old young woman who is single and has no children. Is 13 years too much of an age difference?

- Asked by Male, 36-45

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Nope. If she's 25, she's probably pretty mature by now. She very well may want a family, so you guys should discuss what you want early on. My ex-husband was 21 years older than me which is too much of an age gap. My current boyfriend is 15 years older, and it's not an issue for us at all.


- Response by myndseye711, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Bilbao, Celebrity

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Right now it probably will not pose any real problems, but when she is in her 30's and you are in your 50's they could possibly be a tiff or two. If you love someone age tends to not be the underlying factor, compatibility forever.

- Response by msgg, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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What do you know about her life? Her desires? Her accomplishments? It isn't just about age. It's about the maturity and the mutual desires. I don't think her being 25 is a big problem. Because, she could quite possibly be a very intelligent and successful woman in her own right. You have to get to know her and see if she's the type of woman that you desire to possibly form a relationship with. Don't allow simply a woman's age determine if she's worthy or compatible. You have to get to know her. It's about the type of person she is.

Sometimes, the age suggests a lack of maturity, but only when the person actually is immature in their view on life, in how responsible they are, or what they've accomplished. But, that isn't always the case. I've always been really mature. And, I've always desired an older man based upon the fact that they were the mature ones that I had more in common with. It wasn't simply due to their age. Because, I've met some older men who had the mind of a teenage boy. Just give the women you meet a chance. If you find out they are too immature and have nothing really in common with what you're looking for, move on. But, don't just look at their age and assume you'll have nothing in common. Good luck to you.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Not in my opinion. My son is 43 and his baby mama is 29. A girlfriend back home was 14 years older than her husband. So go for it.

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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Not at all if you've got everything else going for you. Like similar life goals. :)

I tend to think age becomes too much when one "could've" parented the other. A generation apart is, well, a lot!

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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No I definitely don't think so, my dad and his 2nd wife have a thirteen year difference (he's older) and they are really happy together. Plus as you get older the difference seems to get less and less important

- Response by kaylou321, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Administrative

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Age really doesnt matter to me as long as they are younger than my dad..(which would be 18 years older than me) My man and i are almost 10 years apart and i am so in love with him. 13 years isnt that big a deal even if you plan on having kids in the future. My dad was 41 when my lil brother was born. So now i have a brother 22 years younger than me and he is younger than his niece. So in the end age doesnt really matter. Men can have kids into their 50's nowadays and if a man is wanting a child at an older age then all he has to do is make sure he is healthy so he can get out and play with him/her and be there for them to grow up. Dont worry about it as long as she is ok with it then you should be also.

- Response by mehodog4, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Boston, Home Maker

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Compatibility is far more important than age is. And remember that it can take a long time to really sort out what seems like initial compatibility. Also, what a woman wants between the ages of 25 and 35 can evolve tremendously.

My ex, who I was married to for 20 years, was 17 years older than me and our age difference has mostly shown up in the last few years--now I think of him as seeming much older than I am.

- Response by kdare, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Buffalo, Other Profession

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not at all if both u and her are comfortable with the difference. when it comes to reltionships the only people that matter is the two people in the relationship.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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No, 13 years is not too much of a gap. The only thing that really matters is both your maturity levels. She can be 25 going on 40 and you can be 38 going on 19. No, that would not work. But if you two are mature enough to not put the age difference in the relationship and be able to get along maturity wise, ya'll will be just fine.

- Response by cbearalicious, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Oklahoma City, Medical / Dental

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Definitely not at all! My parents are only 6 years apart, but I know some people who are 12-15 years of age differnce :) Whatever makes you happy!!

- Response by ashleyxghs, A Trendsetter, Female, 18-21, Student

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That is actually about right. For most of human history until only the last of the feminist century, a young woman wanted a man who was a decade or so older and financially established. The man wanted a younger wife who could still bear children. It is a perfect match for a traditional family.

The anti-family feminists will hate it.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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No. It's not too much.

- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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no it is fine

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Yes and no. Is she really at your maturity level? Does she want kids in the future? 25 is too young to say no, whereas she changes her mind as she nears 30. Do you want kids after age 40? Will YOU fit into her circle of friends? Yet, if you two were 10 years older, the maturity levels are pretty much equal and there wouldn't necessarily be the issue of wanting a family at that point. And would she want to stick around a guy who's almost 50 when she's 35. Yeah, love can be grand but it isn't enough to hold a relationship/marriage together.

The other thing is, you're not a 38+ or older woman hater are you? And your not seeing this 25 year old as eye candy to impress and ego boost, are you?

IF the two questions above are no, then you could date and see if it works in the long run.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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