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Is it a responsibility of single people to NOT get involved with married people?
Married Life / 2:42 AM - Saturday August 29, 2009

Is it a responsibility of single people to NOT get involved with married people?

Should the single population be expected to respect a person's marriage vows even if that person themself does not respect them? Why or why not?

- Asked by anie01, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Teaching

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I would look at it this way: If we DID, as a single person, try to avoid all married people, there would be fewer divorces. It would not eliminate them, but the number would have to go down.

I think that everyone should FEEL that the RIGHT thing to do, is NOT date married people. I try to put myself in the shoes of the spouse sitting at home. I think it sucks to attempt to take something that does not belong to me.

Yes, I think we have the responsibility to try very hard to not be involved. I say TRY because we cannot be blamed when we are lied to. And, they do lie. But, as soon as we become aware of it, I would hope most people would say: Call me when you are a free person.

I do not want to be part of something that is already WRONG. And, I sure don't want to be the reason that it gets worse.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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I do not believe single people have made any vows or commitments that they should be concerned with. I believe 100% of the burden is on the person who is lying, breaking vows and commitments and betraying their spouse.

A single person should protect their sanity and heart by avoiding married people though but not because they owe it to someone else's decisions...

- Response by meowmeowww, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I think the married men who cheat aren't necessarily looking for sex, but rather someone that listens to them. Rather than trying to fix their marriage, they turn to someone else which is easier in many ways. For a woman, getting involved with a married man is a dead end. You will give him everything that is missing in his marriage -- which will keep him from ever wanting to leave the wife.

- Response by lya718, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Executive

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If you know they are married it is your responsibility to take care of yourself and not get involved.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Why would I respect their marriage since they're abused their own by having an affair with others?. It's not my job to concerned about their relationship. I have my own problems to deal with with all the single men already :-)

I don't get involved with people who are in a relationship for one reason only. I'm a big believer in karma and I wouldn't want anyone hurting mine then why would I want to hurt theirs?. Karma is a bitch and it won't leave anyone's ass when it comes back to look for you.

Yeah, I value my future acquaintance that much

Peace



- Response by azianchemistry, A Player, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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I wish that "you should respect the vows of marriage regardless of whose marriage it is because it's the right thing to do" was an answer that could appease the masses.

In any other facet of life, it is considered good to be respectful. In any other facet of life, it is considered good to have integrity. There is no reason why failure to uphold the sanctity of marriage should be seen as okay. And remember, even if the adulterous husband/wife is not living by their vows, doesn't mean that the partner they're cheating on is not living by theirs. To disrespect the vows of the marriage is to disrespect the person being cheated on, who is probably the person who needs the most love.

- Response by ryanthegreatarj, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 22-25, Student

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YES. It is your responsibility because it's wrong - and you are worth so much more. No exceptions. None.

- Response by integrity111, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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What the married guy who has sex with other people says is the exact reason single women should stay away from married men.....married men already have 85% of all their needs met at home....you would just be a bonus...however most single women do not have much of their needs met at all and will end up wanting more if they actually like the guy because feelings to develop and deepen. Single women are at greater risk of getting hurt. Married men are at greater risk of destroying their marriage but they only care when they get caught.

- Response by meowmeowww, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Interesting read....

Sex and the Married Man
http://www.theatlantic. com/doc/200909/sex-marr ied-man

- Response by meowmeowww, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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No one is responsible for someone else's actions. People are responsible for maintaining there personal lives, and if that includes marriage than there are just two people who have the responsibility of protecting their marriage. Not that I condone getting involved with a married person; the single party involved needs to understand that they are playing the homewrecker and they will probably face some judgement for that one way or another. However; if a married person cheats, they alone are to blame for their actions.

- Response by assman, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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No, it is the responsibility of married people to not get involved with anyone other than their spouse.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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no as if a person is looking to play they will with someone

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I think that it is a 50-50 deal. Someone who is married should not be on the prowl, and a single person should not persue a married person.

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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More important than respecting the marriage, respect yourself and walk away from a married person on the prowl. Every person deserve more than to be treated as a lie. I think when a single person becomes involved in the drama of an affair with a married person, they are lacking self-respect. Everyone deserves to be #1 in an important relationship. Respect yourself and respect the state of marriage even if they are lacking that respect for that institution.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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Yes, if the single person knows that the person hitting on them is married, it's their responsibility and duty to say something. Unless the single person like being used and earning the stigma of participating with an adulterer. Asked a little differently, if you're in the car of a guy committing a bank robbery, you could be arrested for being an accomplist. If you're in the house of a person dealing drugs and you know that they are dealing drugs, you are equally as guilty. That's the law.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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I've gotten chatted up about 6 times in the last year or so, and--since that never happened when I was young, single and beautiful--I've been shellshocked by it. Now, my wife is very ill, but she's far from History, and even in the horniest depressions, I fear her wrath like I do the Wrath of God. So, every time it happened (after the first one), I've wanted to brandish my wedding band and say, "Does my magic ring hold *No* power over you at all?"
I've never brandished, though...because the logical response is, "You have to *believe* in its power."
It's Our (married folks) responsibility, ours alone, not yours. We're the ones who took The Vows.

- Response by morethanafeeling, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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This is a tricky question. I think, it depends on the person, and what that person thinks is right. Everyone lives life differently.

- Response by fortminor123, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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