Back to Home

Active Questions

Would you ever seek "revenge" when a man has done you wrong?
Married Life / 10:59 AM - Thursday August 27, 2009

Would you ever seek "revenge" when a man has done you wrong?

You are divorced, but consider trying again because he claims he has changed, literally cries in your arms proclaiming his love. A couple months later you are history because he meets someone else who can provide him with the material way of life he wants. THEN you find out the entire time he was "loving" you, there were 3 other women being told the same things, one is the "new" one.
You contact 2 of these women, hear it straight from them what was going on. Do you seek out a way to make him feel just as you did? Do you contact the "new" one to let her know what a snake she has? You can provide proof of his games, his cheating. One of the other women wants to make him pay....do you help her?

Update: August 27, 2009.
To Clarify....NONE of them knew about the others until after the fact. And as far as looks go...they are all pretty much on par with one another. And this man has always been about money, so that was no shock to one of those involved IE: the ex-wife. But the whole seem to be saying the same thing....live life well and leave the experience behind you. The best revenge is a great life WITHOUT them in it!

- Asked by ladyinkansas2008, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

Read more about the Rating System


The most I could probably do as a revenge is to gather all these women and altogether confront him and leave the rest with my belief of the saying...'what turns around comes around'.

- Response by spiritintheair, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


nothing wrong with letting the other women know you exist. That should be enough to keep him in trouble for awhile.

- Response by busyb704, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Look, the madness has to stop! Let the other women know what this playboy is up to! Revenge executed!! Good luck.

- Response by 713469, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Of course it would be much more relaxing to get revenge on his lowdown azz.
Yet, the ultimate revenge he shall give himself, for he is a real dog, and is incapable of making anyone happy.
His time will come, and Karma will help.

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:


Don't sink to his level. But if the other woman asks you tell her the truth but don't seek her out. I would however give the other woman whatever ammunition she asked for.

- Response by bellabyrdie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Nope. I would walk away and never look back and start trying to heal. Trying to get revenge just drags you in further and really won't make you feel any better. I belive he'll get his sooner or later one way or another.

- Response by lilacblue, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Actually the best revenge is to forget he exists or at least let him think that. Let him see you out with a new hot guy. Even if you have to have your friends set you up with their brother or uncle. I have done that with a young male friend in front of my ex's Mom. My young friend was nibbling my neck and putting on quite a show...SWEET!!

- Response by cinders717, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Have you never heard of the saying, "Revenge/hate/resentmen t is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"?

- Response by carinabay, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

Rating Received:


The best revenge is leading a good healthy life. While I understand where you are coming from, trust me it will do nothing but exhaust you and sap your energy with no results in the end. Plus he doesn't care he will continue and probably make you out to be some crazy person and unfortunately that will probably work in his favor. So I would say your best bet is to back off and let them figure it out, while you go on with your life and live it up.

- Response by lk2mvit, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

Rating Received:


The best revenge is moving on and finding a life without this man. Forget the revenge as the women will not believe they aren't the special one to him...the snake will get his eventually but don't make it your doing. Why bring drama when you can find happiness again with a better man. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Do you think that people who have the need to deceive others are happy with themselves, confident and successful without continually lying?

A liar is always afraid. The cruel are almost always lonely. I've seen it happen and I didn't even smile.

Leaving people like this guy alone to live with themselves is the best revenge.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

Rating Received:


I threw a brick through my ex's window. It made me feel great.

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Celebrity

Rating Received:


No you let it go! Basically in situations such as these you allowed your emotions to play you instead of thinking this through beforehand. There was a reason for the divorce and unfortunately you overlooked these when he came begging you back. Take it as a hard lesson learned and move on!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


dont hurt yourself anymore im somewhat in the same situation its a never ending heartache you want to know that this person has changed but the reality of it is its just bullshit

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Baltimore, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

Rating Received:


You can't live on revenge, or better yet, revenge can't live on you. It has an enormous appetite, there's always a flaw and you usually end up embrassing yourself. how can you sleep at nite? You should probably have someone out of the circle invite the two of them to some sort of social event and the three of you I'm sure, could think of something that will make him tell on hisself. Pull him off to the side and tell him, how you wish he would come back, how just really can't wait for another 2 minutes of that fabulous romance, that he can give.

- Response by 2jacksam, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Denver, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Nope, you made the decision to try again, again is the key word, you left for a reason in the first place. Why go backwards? Dont waste your energy seeking revenge, thats so negative and nonproductive. Use your energy to better yourself. Good luck!

- Response by unpredictable45, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

Rating Received:


No its stupid and chiildish and you are inadvertantly hurtimng another innocent woman, it wont be him that hurts it will be her, he will just move on to another woman

- Response by psychoticbabe1, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

Rating Received:


It isn't impossible that a man would want to be supported by a woman or impossible that he would date four women at the same and lie to each about being exclusive but based on what I see out there I am guessing other scenarios are more likely. I would guess he likes the woman with money more not because of the money but because she is the best looking, best sex, treats him best sort of thing. I also think it is more likely he told all of you that he loved you, he never mentioned dating anyone else but he never mentioned anything about being exclusive either. That isn't cheating - That is poor communication on the part of the women dating him.

If this guy is lying and cheating with everyone then I don't see anything wrong with telling the woman he chose to be with (that is what a decent human being would do). But don't be surprised if she says she knew he was dating other women, she was dating other guys also, he stopped seeing other women when they became exclusive and he has been honest and fair with her.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

Rating Received:


wHAT A BEAUTIFUL SOLUTION BY "SPRITINTHEAIR BRAVO, PLEASE WHEN IT HAPPENS WILL YOU INVITE US ALL ALONG THIS WILL BE GREATER THAN THE LAST MOHAMMED ALI FIGHT

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

Rating Received: